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What are your do's and don'ts when it comes to online dating? I've met a few women online and I've learned some lessons.
I'll start off with one do and one don't
Do: Be honest. Don't post a pic of a magazine model and claim it as yourself. This irks me to no end. If you're afraid people aren't going to like you because of how you look then you have some self image issues to work on before dating anyone.
Don't: Do not reveal to much to early. I don't need to know on our first conversation that your uncle is a convicted murderer doing time. Nor do I need to know that your father passed away from caner......save this stuff for later conversations should you get that far. In those first few meetings you're getting to know each other. You know, what shows do you like what's your hobbies. You're not there to be a therapist for each other.....unless you met in a therapy chat room
DO: SET BOUNDARIES: One time I was bored at home and decided to meet this woman for breakfast at Perkins(kinda like an IHOP in the Midwest), it wasn't even a date. Anyways, we talked for about an hour and then she asked me if I wanted to go to a wedding and be her date, I was like WHAT THE HELL? So, I told her that I felt like it was a bit too early and I did not feel comfortable, I am afraid if I had not set boundaries, I would have gone to this wedding with her!
DON'T: LIE ABOUT ACCOMPLISHMENTS: People have a tendency to lie about their lives and accomplishments, if you start even a casual date like this, it will be very hard to establish a quality relationship. Not to mention, that it feels much better when you are honest and don't have to worry about the stress of living up to or representing a LIE.
DO: Set up a meeting within 1-3 weeks, if you feel there might be potential.
DO: Meet in a public place.
DON'T: Lie about important things like marital status, sexual orientation, weight/appearance, children, disabilities, etc.
DON'T: Get your hopes up or expect too much. Yes, you can meet someone really great, but a lot of times, it might not even go beyond that first meeting.
I met my husband online. I think online dating is a fabulous way to meet people. But here is my tip: think twice about posting a photo.
I did not post a picture on purpose, and my reasoning was that I was not going to post a photo, so I could weed out the superficial people from the people with substance. Nearly all the men were fixated on why I didn't post a photo. Some refused to email with me to get to know each other until I sent them a photo, which I thought was ridiculous.
Anyhow, I was the one who contacted my husband, after reading his profile (he didn't post a picture either, but it was because he didn't have a scanner--this was before digital cameras). We started emailing and talking on the phone for a whole month, and we really got to know each other. During that whole first month he never once asked for a photo. It really impressed me that he was so non-superficial, among his many other wonderful qualities. We both wanted to click on an intellectual and emotional level first and foremost, because I believe that those are the most important qualities. We ended up having our first date, and knowing that we had found the one! And he is still incredibly non-superficial, respectful of women, and a wonderful hubby. He truly is a man of substance. We've been married almost 6 years. I think that if more people looked past the superficial, there would be more successful relationships.
Dont say you spend a lot of time watching your sisters kids, invite me back to your place after the first date which is covered with kids toys and photos of you and the kids (minus any sister) then beam me in the head with an action figure when i ask if they are really your kids!
(or in simpler words dont lie and say you dont have kids when you do!)
DO: SET BOUNDARIES: One time I was bored at home and decided to meet this woman for breakfast at Perkins(kinda like an IHOP in the Midwest), it wasn't even a date. Anyways, we talked for about an hour and then she asked me if I wanted to go to a wedding and be her date, I was like WHAT THE HELL? So, I told her that I felt like it was a bit too early and I did not feel comfortable, I am afraid if I had not set boundaries, I would have gone to this wedding with her!
DON'T: LIE ABOUT ACCOMPLISHMENTS: People have a tendency to lie about their lives and accomplishments, if you start even a casual date like this, it will be very hard to establish a quality relationship. Not to mention, that it feels much better when you are honest and don't have to worry about the stress of living up to or representing a LIE.
Those are good ones. I especially like the second one. Why lie when you are going to be found out?
And by the way, we have Perkins in New Jersey, too! And New York State.
I met my husband online. I think online dating is a fabulous way to meet people. But here is my tip: think twice about posting a photo.
I did not post a picture on purpose, and my reasoning was that I was not going to post a photo, so I could weed out the superficial people from the people with substance. Nearly all the men were fixated on why I didn't post a photo. Some refused to email with me to get to know each other until I sent them a photo, which I thought was ridiculous.
Anyhow, I was the one who contacted my husband, after reading his profile (he didn't post a picture either, but it was because he didn't have a scanner--this was before digital cameras). We started emailing and talking on the phone for a whole month, and we really got to know each other. During that whole first month he never once asked for a photo. It really impressed me that he was so non-superficial, among his many other wonderful qualities. We both wanted to click on an intellectual and emotional level first and foremost, because I believe that those are the most important qualities. We ended up having our first date, and knowing that we had found the one! And he is still incredibly non-superficial, respectful of women, and a wonderful hubby. He truly is a man of substance. We've been married almost 6 years. I think that if more people looked past the superficial, there would be more successful relationships.
Great story, and congrats to you both on finding each other.
Some people also don't photograph well, and others put younger pictures of themselves on the site, which I don't get. I met one guy in person and wondered if I was supposed to think all his hair fell out since last week. It was ridiculous--I didn't care if a man's hairline was receding. Most of them are after a certain point in age.
Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 12-04-2009 at 05:44 PM..
Reason: typo
DO: Set up a meeting within 1-3 weeks, if you feel there might be potential.
DO: Meet in a public place.
DON'T: Lie about important things like marital status, sexual orientation, weight/appearance, children, disabilities, etc.
DON'T: Get your hopes up or expect too much. Yes, you can meet someone really great, but a lot of times, it might not even go beyond that first meeting.
I was hoping you'd add facebook to your DOs or DON'Ts
But seriously, I think a lot of guys have trouble with the following words - "curvy", "average", "a few extra pounds", "full-figured"
Several guys come home disappointed. They have just been misled
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