Mr. Good Enough (long-term, marry, man, attracted)

[sweethearttx]

Originally Posted by spinx

There are givens, and then there are lists. Of course everyone wants to be treated well. That's common sense.

Life is really not this difficult. Seriously.

I'm not trying to be rude to you. I just think it's a little much to freak out over being 30 and single. Maybe you should find some activities to get involved in to take your mind off it - you might meet Mr. List if you do. (whomever that might be aimed at)

I'm going to guess you are a man. Therefore you probably can't relate to what us women feel as we age, and watch you men go after the women a decade younger. But regardless, I do thank you for your comments!

[Sunflower_lol]

Originally Posted by JSizzle225

You are being "uncoachable" too. All you divas need to start running wind sprints.

There's always expectations and requirements for everything in life. You can't watch an X movie until age 17 or obtaining a certain score to pass an Standardized Exam.

If you think that's too much, there was a woman complaining on another site about how her fiance didn't get her the ring she wanted. She went on saying how ugly it was. Talk about engagement surprise... As for me, I don't even like jewels and a ring would be annoying but do seek basic qualities. Any one has their turn-ons as well as deal breakers.

[si33]

Originally Posted by sweethearttx

So I've seen the arguments about women settling for "Mr. Good Enough" rather than holding out for Mr. Right. But my question is...what if you aren't even finding a "Mr. Good Enough"?

My Mr. Good Enough would be:

1. someone I can have a conversation with
2. someone who is attractive to me (he doesn't have to be cut, just attractive to ME)
3. someone who respects me
4. someone who is emotionally available.
5. someone who at least believes God exists

That's it. I'm not being terribly picky I don't think, and I can't find it! So...then what?

I'm approaching 30, no children, perpetually single, and lets just say (regardless of your opinion on my age or whether or not I should feel the way I do) I'm starting to freak out a bit.

I am 34..don't have kids, haven't been married yet..and yes, there is nothing mentally wrong with me, for those who would ASSUME differently... and looking for ms. not perfect..but good enough for me..and i think you are doing just fine..DO NOT lower your standards!! or the things you desire.. But don't freak out..It will happen, just does not happen overnight..Put yourself out there..date, keep on meeting people..you may have a tangle of bs to go through first..but eventually, you will cross paths with that person you are seeking...And yes, all the crazyness is worth it in the end.. if were as easy as we would like it to be, no one would be single..or going through the motions.. Be patient, but pushing forward..driven..and you will succeed..

[Tropical Trouble]

Originally Posted by si33

I am 34..don't have kids, haven't been married yet..and yes, there is nothing mentally wrong with me, for those who would ASSUME differently... and looking for ms. not perfect..but good enough for me..and i think you are doing just fine..DO NOT lower your standards!! or the things you desire.. But don't freak out..It will happen, just does not happen overnight..Put yourself out there..date, keep on meeting people..you may have a tangle of bs to go through first..but eventually, you will cross paths with that person you are seeking...And yes, all the crazyness is worth it in the end.. if were as easy as we would like it to be, no one would be single..or going through the motions.. Be patient, but pushing forward..driven..and you will succeed..

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to si33 again."

Good post. This is pretty much my attitude these days. Sometimes being single sucks, but I get "out there" and am open to all the possibilities, despite having "standards"

[sweethearttx]

Originally Posted by Tropical Trouble

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to si33 again."

Good post. This is pretty much my attitude these days. Sometimes being single sucks, but I get "out there" and am open to all the possibilities, despite having "standards"

Hey Tropical Trouble I tried to do that for you too and it gave me the same message lol

[Kishka]

Originally Posted by si33

...And yes, all the crazyness is worth it in the end.. if were as easy as we would like it to be, no one would be single..or going through the motions.. Be patient, but pushing forward..driven..and you will succeed..

Nice post!

[mango tango]

All I'm saying is to stop thinking of what you want out of a person and instead focus on making yourself the best possible person you can be. Then, the people will follow.

[philwithbeard]

This is just a bit off topic....

Even after 6 pages, this thread is basically still On Topic, which to me is amazing for this forum. I find the whole thread interesting and am enjoying it.

I am an a mature male and am listed on a couple of dating internet sites. What I have found in the last 6 months or so, is the mature women I have meet have an unspoken include in their lists of what constitutes 'Mr. Good Enough': Which is fitting into the lady's social circle of friends. As in Will Girl Friends Approve of Him; or some variation of that. Heaven knows, I could (or may) be guilty of that same sentiment as in looking for a mature woman arm candy to impress my buddies. Hidden, and unspoken, additions to the list.

Which brings me to: remember the TV show "Sex in the City" and the episode about Friends With Benefits (Sex Buddies?) And how couples pigeon hole each other in a never-never land of no relationship growth?

I am not accusing anybody of anything here, just making a passing comment. Guys can get stuck in Never-Never land as a "Nice Guy, Let's be Friends." Which as everyone knows is death to any growth in the relationship beyond just handshakes-&-hugs. Is it possible, or even likely, that some women can be labeled as a FWB-Type or maybe just a Gal-Pal? Stuck with either label, and treated & respected as just a "Really Great Gal-Pal", or "Only-as-a-FWB." Thus a guy won't show, or develop the bonding for, any long term relationship commitment (as the guys in the "Sex in the City" episode.) The guys in their minds are only companions, and comport themselves as not trying to be in the running for "Mr. Good Enough."

Therefore, if a guy treats a woman only as a Gal-Pal, then can that woman ever discover the guy's potential as "Mr. Good Enough?"

Again, please don't take this as any accusation, or insult, since it was not intended as such. I do wish the OP the best of luck in finding her Mr. Good Enough.

[Currency Pair Crocodile]

Originally Posted by sweethearttx

So I've seen the arguments about women settling for "Mr. Good Enough" rather than holding out for Mr. Right. But my question is...what if you aren't even finding a "Mr. Good Enough"?

My Mr. Good Enough would be:

1. someone I can have a conversation with
2. someone who is attractive to me (he doesn't have to be cut, just attractive to ME)
3. someone who respects me
4. someone who is emotionally available.
5. someone who at least believes God exists

That's it. I'm not being terribly picky I don't think, and I can't find it! So...then what?

I'm approaching 30, no children, perpetually single, and lets just say (regardless of your opinion on my age or whether or not I should feel the way I do) I'm starting to freak out a bit.

Texas seems to be the state to beat. I'm seriously thinking of moving to Texas

[Ticatica]

I think you need to look in different places by switching up your routine. Take some new class or new hooby. When you are happy and open you will meet even more guys. Date with the intention of having fun--not interviewing. Worst case scenario, think about moving to Austin. I hear very good things about the social scene there and there are TONS of 20-30-somethings. Go Get 'em tiger!