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From my experience as well as my observation of dating single moms in the mecca of single moms in America NYC is this about single moms. For one dating a single mom is drama, far more drama then a Shakespearian play. I can date single moms but the problem is the babies father is always around which creates drama. To finding a single mom with no baby father around is not that hard since that type of family is already disfunctional anyway. Where I'm from some single moms babies father is either in prison, fled to another state or back to the Caribbean or Latin America or dead. I met one woman like that at a speed dating meet up here in the city. Cute Latina woman single mother of one, we talked about kids if I had any of course no but she has one. Her child father was jailed caught up in the wrong crowd, it says alot on who and how she picks guys to be with, maybe she was with him for the shockvalue. Some years ago around in my late teens I met another newly single mom, I tried to hit it off with her, I asked her where is your childs father, she told me he was locked up for fraud or some illegal activity. I'm going to put it out to guys if your going to date single moms, make sure she has one child or two at most if your are desperate. Make sure her childs father is out of the picture by death, prison or moved to a galaxy far, far away. I'm not sure if my experiences might not be similar or same to some of you due to livinng in a large city like NYC the dynamics are far different compared to your white trailer trash suburban society!
Unfortunately this is rarely the case with single dads unless he is a widower or adopted kids as a single dad. Every so often I meet a guy with sole custody and mom isn't around but this is extremely rare. Usually without exception the dads I meet fit none of these, he's a dad with kids, and an exwife. He is paying child support and sometimes alimony and mortgage (like one guy I mentioned). I have seen men who made great money struggle to pay their bills and they aren't fun to be around because they can't date like those with kids and an ex. A friend of mine (also single) talks about dating dads and equates it to food. Basically she says if she wants lobster (never married childless man)why would she want to eat someone else's leftovers of hot dogs (dads)? Or if she wants to buy a Mercedes why should she be forced to buy a Pinto because that is all she can find? Instead she walk instead of buying the car she doesn't want and saves for the one she does.
The absolute worst though are the men with exGIRLFRIENDS and multiple kids (usually from different women). These guys are scum galore.
Last edited by Idon'tdateyou; 08-23-2012 at 05:23 PM..
Such nastiness and vitriol toward single Mothers reflects more in the mean character of the poster.
This is what I was thinking... I mean sheesh, I'd prefer not to date a single Dad but I'm not going around saying they're scum with baggage and only worth sleeping with.
I'm a single, childless woman and I don't think I'd date someone with this attitude regardless of whether or not I wanted kids in the future.
Such nastiness and vitriol toward single Mothers reflects more in the mean character of the poster.
No, it doesn't. That's YOUR armor. I incidentally noticed your rep to post ratio is quite high. And that you hang out mostly on this sub-forum, where your POV gets the "oh, good for you" pat on the back.
The attitude you detest reflects the selfishness, entitlement, and poor judgment of most of the women embroiled in these matters. You're not male; therefore, you haven't been objectified by a single mom who is hastily "scrambling" to fix, and better, her situation. They get no empathy, and no interest, from me.
No, it doesn't. That's YOUR armor. I incidentally noticed your rep to post ratio is quite high. And that you hang out mostly on this sub-forum, where your POV gets the "oh, good for you" pat on the back.
The attitude you detest reflects the selfishness, entitlement, and poor judgment of most of the women embroiled in these matters. You're not male; therefore, you haven't been objectified by a single mom who is hastily "scrambling" to fix, and better, her situation. They get no empathy, and no interest, from me.
No, it doesn't. That's YOUR armor. I incidentally noticed your rep to post ratio is quite high. And that you hang out mostly on this sub-forum, where your POV gets the "oh, good for you" pat on the back.
The attitude you detest reflects the selfishness, entitlement, and poor judgment of most of the women embroiled in these matters. You're not male; therefore, you haven't been objectified by a single mom who is hastily "scrambling" to fix, and better, her situation. They get no empathy, and no interest, from me.
Come on, guys, I need some rep.
We would, but your POV doesn't get the "oh, good for you" pat on the back around here. Sorry.
Aside from the potential risk a men faces from dating a single mother, you have to come to think whats going on his life to embrace such a chore. I mean, how do you relate to experiences a person brings when you havent gone through them yourself. And even if you two end up having children of your own, IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME EXPERIENCE FOR HER AS IT IS FOR YOU..in her mind its "been there done that" theres no growth or unity. its not a unique experience to share.
Atleast i feel that way. This is why i sometimes become concerned when a guy my age hasnt found someone substatial to build something with...the older i get, the odds of finding a single woman whom has never been married, and had kids will be non existent. i like women my age..i wouldnt want to date someone in their 20s..ill want someone in their 30s..its the same rule of been there done that in reverse.
Moreover if there are any girls remaining within that criteria of never married never had kids,,she most likely wont be very attractive. the odds are just not good going fwd
Atleast i feel that way. This is why i sometimes become concerned when a guy my age hasnt found someone substatial to build something with...the older i get, the odds of finding a single woman whom has never been married, and had kids will be non existent. i like women my age..i wouldnt want to date someone in their 20s..ill want someone in their 30s..its the same rule of been there done that in reverse.
Moreover if there are any girls remaining within that criteria of never married never had kids,,she most likely wont be very attractive. the odds are just not good going fwd
Thank you for bringing some "sobriety" back to this thread. All of your points, including the ones not included, are very valid. I am sure numerous men share the exact same concerns, are working "the numbers" in their heads, and are honest with themselves and others in assessing the situation.
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