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We've been meaning to put one of those up, if we can find one in brass. Maybe if I can find one that says "By Ringing the Bell, You Give Permission to Be Attacked by Dog on Premises."
(That attack would probably end up being mostly licking, but no need for them to know that!)
I want one of these (but it would surely violate the HOA guidelines).
Last time this happened to me, I invited them in and explained how Satan is my one true God and He curses those who enter my home, and the water I gave them to drink was Satan's blood and he would live within them forever as they became his servants. I've never seen someone look more scared in my life. It was hard to keep a straight face, but so worth it. I did a whole talking in tongues thing and even told them I slaughtered animals for sacrifice. Those guys never dared return.
Come to my house spouting religious mumbojumbo trying to scare me with tales of my souls damnation... two can play that game.
Edit: just for clarity these people came by 3x a week for 2 months before I did this. They even came on Sunday at 7am once.
I want one of these (but it would surely violate the HOA guidelines).
$85?! That's a lot of boxes of thin mints. Cool sign, though. I dig that FLW lettering.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chicagotodc
Last time this happened to me, I invited them in and explained how Satan is my one true God and He curses those who enter my home, and the water I gave them to drink was Satan's blood and he would live within them forever as they became his servants. I've never seen someone look more scared in my life. It was hard to keep a straight face, but so worth it. I did a whole talking in tongues thing and even told them I slaughtered animals for sacrifice. Those guys never dared return.
Come to my house spouting religious mumbojumbo trying to scare me with tales of my souls damnation... two can play that game.
Edit: just for clarity these people came by 3x a week for 2 months before I did this. They even came on Sunday at 7am once.
[quote=chicagotodc;24962040]Last time this happened to me, I invited them in and explained how Satan is my one true God and He curses those who enter my home, and the water I gave them to drink was Satan's blood and he would live within them forever as they became his servants. I've never seen someone look more scared in my life. It was hard to keep a straight face, but so worth it. I did a whole talking in tongues thing and even told them I slaughtered animals for sacrifice. Those guys never dared return.
Well I am so proud of you. Glad to see you enjoy traumatizing others. Very nice. You must have a lot of time on your hands. I am sure your parents are very proud of you. Did your kids witness this as well? I grew up in Chicago so I know all about the abrasive humor most Chicagoans have. However, have some class. You warn them once, if they come back you tell them you will call the cops on them for trespassing. But your wicked ego wouldn't allow for that, right?
Last time this happened to me, I invited them in and explained how Satan is my one true God and He curses those who enter my home, and the water I gave them to drink was Satan's blood and he would live within them forever as they became his servants. I've never seen someone look more scared in my life. It was hard to keep a straight face, but so worth it. I did a whole talking in tongues thing and even told them I slaughtered animals for sacrifice. Those guys never dared return.
Well I am so proud of you. Glad to see you enjoy traumatizing others. Very nice. You must have a lot of time on your hands. I am sure your parents are very proud of you. Did your kids witness this as well? I grew up in Chicago so I know all about the abrasive humor most Chicagoans have. However, have some class. You warn them once, if they come back you tell them you will call the cops on them for trespassing. But your wicked ego wouldn't allow for that, right?
Meh. I don't feel bad about it. They came to my house multiple times. I complained to the police - they said they could only do a citation for public disturbance.... If I wanted a TRO I had to come to the station, file paperwork, etc... But that wouldn't solve the problem because they rotated people every week. I couldn't get a TRO against an entire group of people, especially unnamed people... Nor could I get a TRO against person X based on the prior actions of other people (which makes sense)....or at least that's what I was told. I didn't bother with a laywer cause frankly, I didn't have the time or money for it. It escalated too... they showed up at my house at 7am with a "candlelight" vigil abd a half dozen church members outside praying for me. At 7am. One of them somehow got my phone number and started calling me about coming to bible study. When I told them no, at first, they just called more....the candlelight vigil showed up. That was the last straw for me.
It was years ago, I didn't have kids at the time. I don't feel any remorse for it. Make no mistake about it, these people were trying to scare me into believing my soul would be damned for eternity if I didn't accept Christ as my savior. They were pushy, intolerant and unwilling to accept no for an answer. Far as I'm concerned, they are scum preying on the weak for money and obedience through fear... I asked nicely to stop, they didn't. I don't care if it scared the crap out of those guys. No remorse at all, sorry. Who knows, maybe I spared some other poor guy their bull.
Last edited by chicagotodc; 06-29-2012 at 07:30 PM..
Don't remember the exact time or sect, but two girls knocked on our door a good bit later than one might expect such a thing last week. I sometimes debate these proselytizers when I have a little time, but I didn't get the door this time, so all they got was a polite no thanks.
As for the door in general, I sometimes don't answer it -- if it's my gabby neighbor or some toothless tree-guy -- but I can see who's there by peering stealthily through the plants in the guest room window. It's sort of an Arte "Very interesting" Johnson on Laugh-In kind of thing. If I don't like what I see, I go back to whatever I was doing, but it's usually the not-so-gabby neighbors, the FedEx/UPS guy, or neighborhood kids or boy scouts or some such out trying to do good works. Don't necessarily want to discourage any of them.
Well I am so proud of you. Glad to see you enjoy traumatizing others. Very nice. You must have a lot of time on your hands. I am sure your parents are very proud of you. Did your kids witness this as well? I grew up in Chicago so I know all about the abrasive humor most Chicagoans have. However, have some class. You warn them once, if they come back you tell them you will call the cops on them for trespassing. But your wicked ego wouldn't allow for that, right?
Hmm, so you are in defense of the people who ask to enter people's homes for the sole purpose to say, "what you believe is wrong; you must believe what I tell you to believe"? If you set out to proselytize aggressively by entering other people's homes, you better prepared for any reaction.
Hmm, so you are in defense of the people who ask to enter people's homes for the sole purpose to say, "what you believe is wrong; you must believe what I tell you to believe"?
It sounded like he was in defense of: " You warn them once, if they come back you tell them you will call the cops on them for trespassing."
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- I honestly don't know how many (if any) folks are "converted" or whatever by door-to-door tactics.
