Men and Women retiring alone to a new city/state -- where will you go and why? (60+, Georgia)

[RiverBird]

Wisteria,
We have very similar backgrounds. I teach art classes too, just part time and when the classes enroll (not in a regular school). I hope to find a place where I can do that out of my home, as many people who are retired are looking for creative things to do. I totally relate to your situation. If you leave where you are, would you be leaving any family behind? That's my biggest problem in thinking about leaving the northeast. I have a son here getting married soon, and they will have at least one kid. My others are scattered, so they're not an anchor for me. But I do have one sibling here, and we are about the same age, and she wants me to stay so we can look after each other in old age (money is no problem for her). If I stay, it's in a high crime city. If I go, it's off on my own into the wild blue yonder, with no friends or networking in the new place. I think that's what's holding a lot of us back...the fear of being alone in old age. Friends are friends but they move away, pass away, and pass out of our lives so easily. In the end, I'm weighing the family factor VERY heavily (at age 60)...I know it's easy to give advice, but I'm still in the camp that says unload the house because at our age and in this economy, IMHO, we may never get for it what we could get now. I'm with the posters who say that its going to take years to get out of this international financial disaster. And we don't have years! So cut our losses and get on with our new life wherever it is!!!

[Umbria]

Originally Posted by Wisteria

I just got off the phone with a friend of a friend who lives in Las Cruces. He and his wife have lived all over the country. He's on disability, and she's had various odd jobs through the years (she currently works at Wally World - Walmart). He is 67 and she is 62. They have two grown children. They are renting a mobile home (for $500/month) in Las Cruces, and they have been there five years now and said they are not moving from there. They love it! It's not too conservative, and it's not too liberal -- it's moderate. The climate is terrific, and the surrounding terrain is gorgeous, plus those huge, blue open skies and panoramas. It was encouraging talking to him because they have been on a very, very small budget all their lives but have also lived all over the place, including Hawaii. They manage and told me that the rents there are low, and housing is inexpensive, and that it is just a great place to retire. He's an intellectual, and very expressive, so being that he's the more creative sort and into all kinds of things, I trust his word on that. So.....Las Cruces now goes back on my short list! (Sorry MN2CO...)

Wisteria - I fully expect everyone will do what is the best for them - we've all gone round and round on this and since we are all in different, yet sometimes similar, circumstances, it will be interesting in 2 years to see where everyone is. Our world is changing as I speak and nothing would surprise me anymore - well, almost nothing. We also don't really know each - we could absolutely hate each other in person - or not

I had company over the weekend and it's time to clean up and errands to run so take care y'all!!

[Wisteria]

MN2CO: Wisteria - I fully expect everyone will do what is the best for them - we've all gone round and round on this and since we are all in different, yet sometimes similar, circumstances, it will be interesting in 2 years to see where everyone is. Our world is changing as I speak and nothing would surprise me anymore - well, almost nothing.

I know, it's so confusing. I'm feeling dizzy from all of this. Yes, in two years it will be interesting to see what's happened. This thread started two years ago and there was so much optimism! Two years later, and here we are....in a depression. Wow, so much happened so fast!

I have no idea where I'll end up, really. I figure I won't go back to Buffalo

At least I'm putting the feelers out. If something came up that was a good situation with more people and good weather, I'd look into that. Right now, though, it seems I'm kind of on my own, so I'm just doing what I have to do. All options are on the table!

[brightdoglover]

I think renting or owning a mobile home (trailer, whatever) in a 55+ place is a great idea for limited income. And you'd have a built-in community of people in your age group. Most such places are for people of modest means.
The place my father lives in is not 55+ (south Jersey) although there tend to be a lot of seniors. However, there's a rule that only owners can live there, which does keep out some of the difficulties with "trailer parks."
I don't really have family, and yes, friends move on, couple up, leave town (at least in my world). If I had a good family situation, I do think it would be hard to leave, and it's well worth considering as a factor in staying put. (I do not include "the grandchildren" in this, as you can always arrange visiting).
I obviously was raised by wolves, as a friend told me.

[miruca]

Wisteria - your frustration and concern are pretty darn understandable. It is hard and depressing to feel "stuck" or boxed in by circumstances. I keep thinking if things get so bad then those that own homes may end up with those of us that don't - and perhaps we'll help each other out. Who knows! I never thought I'd end up living in a small apt, renting, and having roommates. It turns out though that I generally enjoy the various roommates I've had and I've made some life long friends. Believe me .. I'm keeping that little spot in Santa Cruz in my mind .

Newengland girl - I found your comment on family interesting. I think they move away, pass away too. I am not sure I buy into the familial ties that bind are the best - or that those are the ties I even prefer to be around for daily life...at least from a sibling or cousin perspective. I know that when the end comes though, it is usually the children that pick up the slack. I saw that, and I experience it myself, in my parent's generation. They had a good 20-30 years in a Florida retirement community - great friends and lots of fun. .. but when old and infirm the children move them north again. I wouldn't want them to give up those 20-30 good years to have been around me though. In a way -tat phase of their life gave me freedom in my life, too.

MN2CO - I burst out laughing with the possible irony that maybe we'd hate each other if we truly got to know each other - I don't think so though - somehow in writing we've come to know these inner parts of each other that would keep us interested, I think. Perhaps on the visit but not live with list though . That is kind of where I am with family.

I'm scared to take the leap into retirement - financially.... and in ways I feel sad too as it facing the likely end of "possibility" in that arena of my life. It was not according to "plan" for me. It came earlier because I've been marginalized at work for 3 years for various reasons and now that I've reached the full retirement age of 55 there is no financial incentive to stay either. So leap I will into the unknown... the only known thing is less money to live on.

[RiverBird]

[quote=miruca;7814530] Newengland girl - I found your comment on family interesting. I think they move away, pass away too. I am not sure I buy into the familial ties that bind are the best - or that those are the ties I even prefer to be around for daily life...at least from a sibling or cousin perspective. I know that when the end comes though, it is usually the children that pick up the slack. I saw that, and I experience it myself, in my parent's generation. They had a good 20-30 years in a Florida retirement community - great friends and lots of fun. .. but when old and infirm the children move them north again. I wouldn't want them to give up those 20-30 good years to have been around me though. In a way -tat phase of their life gave me freedom in my life, too.

Hi there Miruca! I haven't read your posts till this one. Are you in the north US? Are you also contemplating a move elsewhere? The thing that I find hardest to understand about myself is how bold and adventurous I was when I was younger---left home at 16, made some bold moves geographically, didn;t have much money but used what I had wisely, and managed to own a house that is now paid off. I was never in the mainstream of the workforce, as I am in a "creative/arts" field, but have somehow even with a lge family been able to weather some bad times and still be spunky. Here I am at age 60 and I feel timid and fearful, as if the world were going to end tomorrow! Of course I try to balance these fears with meditation, being in the present, etc. but the next 10 - 20 years are completely unchartered territory mostly because I didn't play it safe like so many others and aim all my career efforts at the retirement years. Depending on my kids is not a good idea, as they're all struggling themselves. I really like the idea of a community of some kind, of all women or women and men who have some consciousness and are not living on materialistic aims and pasttimes. But I'm also not a hippie type who wants to live in a commune. I think it's the sense of isolation in getting older. Maybe that isolation is self imposed and I need to join groups, a church, etc. so that I can feel connected more. Anyway thanks for your thoughtful comment about family and friends, it's probably true

[Dancingearth]

Originally Posted by TerryC11

Has anyone looked into Elder Grace in Santa Fe? It's an elder co-housing community that might serve as a model if people really wanted to create something here.

Geez--gone a few days to clean my house and have a party and now have four pages to catch up on!

When I bought my place thru the affordable housing programs in Santa Fe they talked about a retirement community being planned but I was concerned it didn't have space for my hobbies so I bought this place instead. I'm not sure Elder Grace is an actuality yet. Now that I found the community college has a great ceramic studio I wouldn't need so much room at home. I'm wishing I had continued to rent a room--my job is feeling very insecure lately.

I liked the National Shared Housing link -- it's what I was looking for but unfortunately nothing in New Mexico. Dang. I tried Craigslist to rent my room and only received one phone call. Maybe it was the TV free house in the ad.... If I lose my job in this "recession" maybe I should start a business matching up people to rooms for rent.

I'm ready for running away from home for a few days but might have to settle for taking the Rail Runner to ABQ for the day.

[Wisteria]

Oh, DancingEarth, I hope your job holds out. I work for a county agency, and there are plans to furlough us for one month! (Not in a row, but to pay us for only 11 months of work, not 12!) In addition, they are also talking about cutting pension benefits for both current and future retirees! I guess I have to be grateful for a job, but, geez, cutting all this out?? So, I understand that sense of anxiety about "will I have a job, will I not?" Let's just hope the economy starts working the kinks out (or is it the "crooks" out) soon.

I am still going to try to unload this house. If I can rent for a year or two, that would be the way to go -- but with pets, you just never know what you can or can't find....

I think that I will probably feel less stress not owning anymore. My situation is unique (and I don't want to go into the details here) because I did not originally choose this house -- a former boyfriend did...and I eventually took over the entire mortgage for personal reasons (we had been sharing it up to that point). I never would have chosen something this expensive that would take up most of my pay each month. So, in addition to the cost and upkeep (which is the hardest part), I also have some resentment about how I got into this house, although it is a lovely area. But if I were to buy on my own, I never would have gotten this. Just releasing the house will help to release some of my feelings about it. I need to do that.

The West, I've found, is a bit more difficult to rent in. The eastcoast has lots of older buildings that were mansions (at least in the places I've lived back there), that were transformed into apartment houses. Out here, buildings are much smaller, and there aren't many old homes like that. I rented for decades and never had a problem with it -- in fact, it was a lot easier not to be tied down. The only time I regretted renting was when I had a fabulous little cottage in downtown Boulder, and the owner sold the property. When he came to my door to tell me he was selling and I'd have to move, I burst into tears right in front of him! I could tell by the mortified look on his face that he felt awful....but I just couldn't help it ... I loved that little place. (It was eventually torn down, so there was no hope of negotiating staying there....)

So, for me, it's really a mixed bag. If I can find a nice rental that's affordable, I won't have the stress of maintenance, insurance, property taxes, upkeep, etc. If I can find a home to buy that is really "good," then that could work, too. Unless someone owns a home for a lifetime, I don't see that the equity gained is that much more (except for this weird decade we had where everything mulitiplied out of control), than saving or investing. I do know people who feel that they have "not made it," or somehow are missing out if they don't own...I don't feel that way. At this point, I don't have enough time to pay off a mortgage to be mortgage-free, so either way, I'm going to pay... If I can get some equity and a nice rental for awhile, that will suit me just fine, and if something happens to my job, I won't have to be all stressed out trying to sell, feeling stuck, etc. I am trying to put a more positive spin on this right now.

And If I can't sell...well, then I'm still here and I'm used to it. I just don't like not having choices, and this economy has taken choice away.....

[Umbria]

I just can't stand to see people suffering so much. I went to the doctor recently and my blood pressure is way up again - my doctor told me not to read newspapers, throw my TV out, blah, blah blah .... My point, Wisteria - stress will affect your health - you know that. I'm sorry everything is so rough right now - do something to remove yourself from it long enough to calm down - then you can think more clearly and hopefully it all won't seem so AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take a long walk along the beach with your pooch- http://bestsmileys.com/funny/4.gif (broken link)

you have all those wonderful natural resouces at your finger tips - use them. Me - I just kepp planting seeds indoors (flowers & herbs) and when they start to poke their little heads out of the soil I feel like a, well....a proud mom. http://bestsmileys.com/cheering/6.gif (broken link)

I have to believe this is just a wake-up call to all of us (hopefully those that really abused their finances and of course, the crooks, will be smart enough to wake-up - questionable). This will be over soon...this will be over soon... this will be over soon...

Unfortunately, most of the wealthy are still wealthy. It's the middle classes that are being affected the most.

I finally got rid of a major annoyance - my Finance guy. I've had a trust issue with him for a long time and finally did something about it. I even got a letter from his agency a while ago saying that one of their goals was to rebuild trust with many of us - HAH!! Too late. It was like throwng out a rotten roommate or finally leaving a rotten job - I felt so much better. Now I have more work to do but at least I trust me. I owe it all to CD folks that said it's not that tough.

DancingEarth - I think you're right about the TV free - most people have and watch TV to some degree. That would keep alot of people away.

Here's something that will make the rest of you happy to be where you are: It's now 4 degrees out - we had another Canadian blast and northern MN had a bad blizzard (we seem to miss most of those). BUT - the sun is shining.

Time to go - chin(s) () up everyone

[knoxgarden]

Spring has come to East Tennessee. The pear trees at the condo complex are in bloom. When the complex was built they put two trees at the entrance to each section of the garden apartments, lined the streets with them and planted in in the area between the levels of the complex (it's built on the side of a ridge). Most all thrived and are now 4 stories high. It's a glorious site when they bloom.
And I had a cardinal at the birdbath by the back sliding door yesterday. My tiny daffodils are blooming and so are my tiny scented violets. It's hard to be depressed when spring is so beautiful.