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And for the OP...sounds like the mall sitters might be a tad depressed...or do you think it's similar to the sitting around the Cracker Barrel at the general store and playing checkers as done in days of yore?
Would like to see YOU fire up the group with a community project utilizing your combined knowledge and skills...what needs doing in your community? Who's in need? or want? Or buy a group boat and go fishing..get out of that darned mall!!
Me, I want to leave some kind of legacy that I helped make the world a better place for my having been here...
I was thinking about doing this today just to see what people WEAR. I have no idea of proper pants width/lenght....and so scared of being like my 92 y/o mother with her "good", extremely wide legged 70's (60's?) pants
Why don't you talk to the others like you and start some sort of retirement organization. You could get involved in so many productive things.
I would not be able to stand that boredom. I would encourage you to take the plunge, get some of the others together and start volunteering. There are bound to be schools, nursing homes, hospitals, many places that can use your skills.
There are already organizations that have opportunities for retired folks to participate in business development such as SCORE Where folks w/ experience in business and a multitude of work related experience hep others in developing their own businesses. Here is a website...Check for one in your area...or start one. Free Small Business Advice | How-to Resources | Tools | Templates | SCORE
And, several others come to mind.
Habitat for Humanity is a wonderful organization. Habitat for Humanity
Meals on Wheels Meals On Wheels Association of America
Hospice Hospice
There are many ways to enrich your own live while helping to enrich others lives. I encourage you to investigate the opportunities in your area.
Last edited by JanND; 01-22-2013 at 07:25 PM..
Reason: edit text
Quoting OP" Now that I am old and retired I never thought it would be this way. I pictured we would have a more active retirement with tons of things to do and great times with friends. It has not worked out as planned for me or the many people I see at the large Regional Shopping Mall near my home".
"Everyone suggests that you just do all kinds of interesting things and your life will be great. That is similar to asking an introverted kid with Asbergers to just be social and go to parties and your social life will be great. Those of us who sit in silence at the big shopping mall are there and not doing those interesting things for a reason." END QUOTE
I think your initial post says a lot about your true feelings. And this second post is rationalizing. I sense that you would do something, if you could figure out what that something was, other than sitting passively letting the world pass you by.
I promise, if you will take my suggestions, or the suggestions of several other posters, to find a volunteer opportunity...just pick out one...and try it for a couple of months...You will have a new lease on life. Give it some thought. I've provided links for you in my post.
And, just another suggestion...post these up in that Mall for the others...You may be doing someone a huge favor.
Keep us updated please.
Last edited by JanND; 01-22-2013 at 07:38 PM..
Reason: edit text
Now that I am old and retired I never thought it would be this way. I pictured we would have a more active retirement with tons of things to do and great times with friends. It has not worked out as planned for me or the many people I see at the large Regional Shopping Mall near my home.
Just to get out of the house many of us arrive at the mall when it opens at 10 AM and go to the same area and sit there for hours watching people.
Back when I was younger I used to envy the older folks who had a completely open schedule and could do anything they wanted all day when I had to go off to work. Now I look at the business men and women all dressed up so nice, laughing and enjoying themselves and their friends and coworkers, on their way to a business lunch at one of the many eating establishments that cater to the business people from the many office buildings near by. They have such a sense of purpose. Our gang (the retired folks) who spends their day sitting around near the Food Court waiting for something to happen- does not. Yes, we should be doing something more important, but we are not. We are just sitting in the mall killing time. Fellow retirees can you relate?
No, I hate malls. I could sit and enjoy watching people for a short period of time with someone to talk to, but I'd rather stay home. I have lots to do here to take care of the house, my dogs, my husband. I love to read and learn. I take up hobbies, such as painting, making things like lotions, candles, soaps with essential oils, cook something new. I can't imagine anything more boring than sitting and watching the world go by. I do enjoy watching the birds, or a sunset, the stars, those kinds of things.
I don't envy people in the rat race at all.
I do understand what you are saying though. My mother loved to do that.
No, not in the least. Moreover, I have absolutely no sympathy for people who choose to live their lives that way and then complain about it. I might have less contempt if the reason for doing so was financial and the retiree claimed that they had no money to do anything else. But that clearly is not the case for you:
So take your sob story and go commiserate with your group killing time at the mall.
I can't relate at all. I don't understand why you're complaining. Makes no sense at all. Go do something else.
Are you waiting for the world to amuse you ? Not going to happen. Make your own amusement. Find things that interest you- TAKE THE INITIATIVE . Life is not a TV set, where you sit back and watch a screen.
Life is to be lived. Give back to your community, volunteer your time or read through Meetups.com- find an interest in something, get your body moving. Hanging around doing nothing rots both the body and the mind. Plant a garden, build something, be a foster grandparent mentor ( Like Big Brothers/ Big Sisters ). The list is endless. You find meaning only in the life of people going to work ? Then put meaning in your life- work has nothing to do with it.
Boring people are bored. It's not retirement doing this to you, it's you doing it to yourself. Good luck
Lord I hate that phrase, give back to your community, as if we've stolen something or owe it something. We owe the community nothing, as the community owes us nothing.
I get up and walk around some but the reason for the post is to discuss the huge number of retirees that I see there that just sit there day after day after day. How sad.
I suppose you could look at it that way. My mother just enjoyed watching people, always did. Maybe it allowed her to feel a part of the action. It would be nice if they had smorgosboard, chess, or some of those things elders used to do in the neighborhood park. Bingo seems to have gone too. Families cast aside their elders now, their too busy to be bothered.
When I read the OP's first post, I assumed he was just being philosophical . . . delivering a vignette of what he sees at the mall: retired people sitting around the food court.
I thought it was abstract and I didn't even consider that he was writing about himself - he was simply using it as a structure for examining the level of satisfaction retired people have about their activities and involvement with others since retiring.
I was surprised with the responses - and then realized that others were reading this as a genuine "whine" about OP's life circumstances.
When I was growing up, the retired elders in our community gathered at the little "country store" located at the crossroads of our small community. They would come in the mornings and sit around the pot belly stove (which was later replaced, but the benches and tables remained). THere was always a checkers game going . . . and more "tall tales" than one could dream up in a lifetime. The store sold sandwiches at lunch, and they old men had their regular favorites, from bologna, cheese and mayo on white bread to grilled cheese. The talk would range from politics to downright gossip. Sometimes, the various members of the group would head out to the local fishing hole. At other times, they would be tinkering with some piece of machinery (a clock, perhaps) . . . or they would sharing the Farmer's Almanac and making up "seed lists" for Spring. It was like a community center in a tiny community that had no such facility. Sometimes, they would decide to go hunting, so that was the talk for days -- preparing for the big outing and then -- the tall tales that we could count on when they came back with the big catch (or the impossible to believe stories about the one that got away).
I listened to WWII history from a soldiers point of view . . . and I realized at a young age what a bond they shared with one another. I also was fully aware that the women were happy to have them out of the house all day -- and the men were happy to have some place to go, lol. Our small community referred to them as the Council in Residence . . . they considered themselves our tribal Elders and we treated them with jovial respect.
Sitting around with one's peers is not such a bad thing -- if there is a sense of community and a bond of support and respect for one another. Not everyone needs to be busy busy busy doing "worthwhile" projects. Not everyone is interested in volunteering, or mentoring, or having a hobby. I've had people tell me they had already put their time in "doing for others" and now it was time to just kick back and enjoy life.
I would not presume that anyone was wasting his/her life simply b/c they are sitting at the mall. Maybe they don't have a/c at home. I would suspect that folks would have reacted differently if the scenario had been set in a library as opposed to a mall . . . which just goes to show how we make assumptions about people. After all, a person can be quite disengaged while in a library, yet we assign a higher value to "wasting one's time" surrounded by books rather than vegetating at the food court surrounded by retail establishments.
For the most part, the activities people pursue during a lifetime have very little to do with actual value and a whole lot to do with feeling valued. It can be disconcerting when we realize that all the busy-ness is a shield against coming to terms with our own mortality and accepting that no matter how successful we are, how busy we have been, how "big" our mission . . . few people's lives truly affect more than a handful of people.
Fifty years after we are dead, the people sitting around in the mall and those volunteering and "being active" with hobbies and travel will both be equally forgotten <grin> so just enjoy your life the way you see fit and don't spend much time fretting over how someone else may be spending his/hers.
^^^ you are a lovely person ani, that was kind. Pass it on.
My husband retired 3.5 months ago - which meant I also retired ... again. We're having a blast and are finding our days too short. Surprisingly, my husband is accompanying me on shopping trips - lots of them. Sometimes we meet others for a lunch, othertimes it's just the 2 of us. What are we busy doing? I haven'tfigured it out yet - but we're very busy. We watch a movie after dinner on tv most nights - something we didn't do before, and he's actually got me watching some tv shows - another thing I seldom did. And I've recently become a pet foster for the local rescue group. It's a little extra work but it's something we enjoy doing.
Now, we are looking forward to May. Ah, May, hot enough to sit out on the deck, maybe swim in the pool, relax, watch the outdoor tv, read, have friends over.
So what's the difference between us and the OP? Instead of a mall, we'll be at home. We earned this damned retirement and I'll not have someone tell us how to spend our time. Library? Yah, it's an hour ride; senior center - too many old people; blah blahblah. Those are things some of you want to do, so please do them if it will give you pleasure. Too bad the OP cannot find pleasure in people watching and socializing or if not, then do what does give him pleasure.
I think, if you paid attention, the difference is he doesn't have a wife to take him to the mall so he can watch her shop, or offer support while she fosters animals from the shelter. Think about what your husband would do with himself without you, or visa versa. How would it feel to be alone?
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