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Now that I am old and retired I never thought it would be this way. I pictured we would have a more active retirement with tons of things to do and great times with friends. It has not worked out as planned for me or the many people I see at the large Regional Shopping Mall near my home.
Just to get out of the house many of us arrive at the mall when it opens at 10 AM and go to the same area and sit there for hours watching people.
Back when I was younger I used to envy the older folks who had a completely open schedule and could do anything they wanted all day when I had to go off to work. Now I look at the business men and women all dressed up so nice, laughing and enjoying themselves and their friends and coworkers, on their way to a business lunch at one of the many eating establishments that cater to the business people from the many office buildings near by. They have such a sense of purpose. Our gang (the retired folks) who spends their day sitting around near the Food Court waiting for something to happen- does not. Yes, we should be doing something more important, but we are not. We are just sitting in the mall killing time. Fellow retirees can you relate?
Good memory! Guess we have a troll. Hope he got a kick out of this.
I disagree with the conclusion that the OP is necessarily a troll for starting a thread which was covered previously. That older thread dates from 2007, and it would have been very easy to miss something that old.
I disagree with the conclusion that the OP is necessarily a troll for starting a thread which was covered previously. That older thread dates from 2007, and it would have been very easy to miss something that old.
It's a funny coincidence, though, that "Dingler" started the 2007 thread and "Tired Old Man" also hangs out on Northern VA forum and is being called "Dingler" by some people who think they see similarities between the two. Probably a coincidence, of course.
Being in our age group, he may well have forgotten that thread (if it is the same poster).
The difference, too, is that in 2007 it mmay have been only observation but is now participation.
It's a challenging problem, to be sure, but I still tend to think that malls would want to encourage people hanging out--having people sitting on benches makes a mall more inviting than having one that is empty and has the appearance of having no shoppers. You could have a rule against sleeping in the mall, I suppose. That might--might--keep the homeless people from becoming a problem.
I have no idea what our local mall does regarding homeless people, but they must have figured out some sort of solution. I see a lot of people sitting in the chairs for long periods of time. Our mall has lots of comfy padded armchairs arranged in little "conversation" groupings, so it's common to see people sitting for long periods of time. I don't recall having ever seen someone sleeping, though. The issue isn't as much the homeless being a problem as much as it is implementing anti loitering orndinances without discriminating against the young. Some business owners do object as they might with seniors sitting outside their stores.
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Don't know if any of the people sitting in the chairs are homeless,--if they are, they blend in and don't cause trouble as far as I know. I read the crime reports in our local paper and every 4-5 months or so I read about an incident at the mall, but it's usually a story about a fender bender or teens shoplifting.
I am aware of high end malls that have had to address the issue. These are not folks without a place to sleep at night but folks who are in shelters at night and have to leave in the morning. They are often former fairly well off folks who are well educated and victims of the recession who just a few years ago were shoppers at the Mall. It was interesting the stories of the folks and how they used their resources to try to keep alive part of their former lives. I am strucken when I go to downtown Wilmington NC and in warmer weather see the number of homeless people hanging out around parts of the river front on week days. The public restroom especially the ladies can have a line because of homeless folks using it to tidy up for the day. What is striking about the people is that in many cases you can't tell they are homeless until you notice they are carrying their belongings with them. I was struck by one man who was sitting on a bench who had on worn and tattered dress shoes, fairly decent if not a bit wrinkled clothes with his what is left of his life behind him. When it becomes most powerful is when you talk to them and listen to them talk and have a perfectly normal fairly well educated conversation with them about whatever and realize it could be you. It is interesting to hear them have conversations about how they were making out getting their feet back on the ground and how much money they had been able to rustle up the day before. This one day I would estimate the folks around were 50% tourist, 40% folks down on their luck with a sprinkling of folks from the nearby business area. I had a Pittsburg Steeler hat on and a man with hardly any teeth came up and started a conversation about the Steelers and the NFL and related topics and I had to wonder what his story was as it was obvious he was smart and just out of resources with probably no medical insurance.
There have been many posts in this thread about the many things seniors can do to pass their time. Many require money and even a Kindle in the hands of an avid reader can be costly. My wife probably averages $100 a month in Kindle purchases. Golf, trips etc can be expensive and imagine the senior on a tight fixed income budget with the fluctuations in gas prices. I believe someone mentioned that the OP lives in Northern Virginia and that area is very expensive and it is possible to be retired and be house rich and cash poor. If you are a renter you don't even have that house rich benefit. I raised that point in a previous thread about the world of hurt awaiting many in the area.
I am aware of high end malls that have had to address the issue. These are not folks without a place to sleep at night but folks who are in shelters at night and have to leave in the morning. They are often former fairly well off folks who are well educated and victims of the recession who just a few years ago were shoppers at the Mall. It was interesting the stories of the folks and how they used their resources to try to keep alive part of their former lives.
As long as they aren't causing trouble I have no problem with unemployed-now-homeless people simply wanting a place to go that feels like their former life or wanting to be inside, away from bad weather. There are plenty of recently unemployed people hanging out in libraries, too, and it makes me glad that we voted to keep the libraries open. There but for the grace of god go I, as they say.
I suppose one concern could be infectious disease--especially during flu season. If so, a mall could work with the public health department to sponsor flu shots, or things like that.
As long as they aren't causing trouble I have no problem with unemployed-now-homeless people simply wanting a place to go that feels like their former life or wanting to be inside, away from bad weather. There are plenty of recently unemployed people hanging out in libraries, too, and it makes me glad that we voted to keep the libraries open. There but for the grace of god go I, as they say.
I suppose one concern could be infectious disease--especially during flu season. If so, a mall could work with the public health department to sponsor flu shots, or things like that.
Or if the community is progressive and affluent enough they can afford to provide health and clinical services to those without.
The key is if it is a community with the will and they way/means to do so.
Wow. I didn't expect to be told that the story sounded "stupid".
Dad died as I said at 84. My Mom is 93 going on 94. The only problem is she is completely blind from macular degeneration. My father-in-law died of cancer at 75 years of age. My mother-in-law is 89 and still relatively healthy. My parents smoked, but gave it up many years ago. I think it was about 1968. If your family met or beat those numbers smoking than they defied the averages.
The issue of pain medication with my father never made much sense to me either. He took prescription Lortab for a short time and gave it up. He didn't like the way it made him feel. I saw him virtually every other day during the last six months of his cancer and a constant question from me was "do you need anything for your pain?". Literally, when he was lying in bed during the last part of his illness, he was conscious enough to respond to me when I asked this same question. His answer repeatedly was "No, please...just let me sleep". He was very tired during the last weeks and on his final day, he never woke up.
His attitude towards pain was quite complicated. I saw him barely complain about fracturing a foot once and another time when he had a laceration on his hand. Yet, he would complain to no end about neck and back pain. He sought out physical therapy, chiropractic, and even the services of a neurosurgeon to deal with his neck and back pain. Than, after his appointment he'd carry 40 lbs sacks of water softening salt into his home.
We got a hold of Hospice. He only lasted one day though after we set him up with that. His suffering was a major concern of mine and I not only spoke to him, I spoke to his physicians. I feel confident I made appropriate decisions for him.
As far as travel goes, my father and mother simply lacked a desire to go outside their country. Even Europe never interested them as a destination. My mother's reaction to cruises has always been negative. She doesn't think "people should be waited on and pampered like that". I don't particularly agree. However, that's Mom.
Only the part about the pain meds sounded stupid. I didn't mean to imply that you were stupid. You were obviously fairly young when this happened. And - even if you were older - well how many times does an average person go through this?
A drug like Lortab usually isn't enough when it comes to major cancer pain. Perhaps it didn't reduce the pain enough to compensate for the "woozy" feeling he might have had? Who knows. Pain management in terminally ill people can be a big problem. Especially if doctors are squeamish about prescribing lots of narcotics.
Note for possible future reference that you don't have to be at death's door to get hospice care involved (there's home hospice - you don't have to be in an institution). Also - there's a relatively new medical specialty called palliative medicine: Palliative care (from Latin palliare, to cloak) is an area of healthcare that focuses on relieving and preventing the suffering of patients. Unlike hospice care, palliative medicine is appropriate for patients in all disease stages, including those undergoing treatment for curable illnesses and those living with chronic diseases, as well as patients who are nearing the end of life. Palliative medicine utilizes a multidisciplinary approach to patient care, relying on input from physicians, pharmacists, nurses, chaplains, social workers, psychologists, and other allied health professionals in formulating a plan of care to relieve suffering in all areas of a patient's life. This multidisciplinary approach allows the palliative care team to address physical, emotional, spiritual, and social concerns that arise with advanced illness.
I think that palliative medicine in particular has advanced a lot since your father died (the Board certification for the specialty only started in 2006).
It entered my mind that perhaps this had something to do with being LDS. Although I'm sure Mormons don't prohibit the use of legal narcotics for pain relief - perhaps their use is something that isn't exactly encouraged. Robyn
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