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My ex-wives family was like this and it was sad. They all had this notion that he had a million dollars and a mansion worth about that much and even divided up 4 ways (among his daughters), that it was going to be a financial windfall to bail out everyones poor financial situations.
The joke of it was that when their dad passed away, he had already pissed through about half of the cash his last 3 years of life (he had a very good time), the mansion was a wreck that no one wanted for more than 300k because of all the work needed to make it livable, and one of the children had the bright idea to put most of the antique furniture into an estate auction which netted a shockingly low amount of cash (they were essentially robbed by the auction house - I think they sold a mansion full of nice antique furniture for perhaps 2-3k total.). When all was said and done, the only people that came out well were the two older daughters who took off with their dads nice cars the day of his funeral without gaining agreement from their sisters on appraised value!
Having seen now 4 sets of grandparents pass away and in each of the situations their children fighting/arguing over who gets what, I just don't have high hopes for anyone having a happy situation resulting from such inheritances. It would seem that no one ever has an ironclad Will that covers all situations and that no matter how close siblings may appear to be that when their parents die fighting over the inheritance comes natural.
My advice, and I state this only with wisdom of experience behind me, is to make sure everyone understands and lives like there is not likely to be any inheritance post taxes, post lawyers, post all the other nonsense. Better that people expect nothing and get something than the other way around.
I disagree, fighting does NOT "come naturally".
My three siblings and I ranged in age from our late 30s to our mid 50s when our last parent passed away over 15 years ago, and we did not have have even one fight or one disagreement over our inheritance or dividing up personal property. Part of our inheritance was a farm, which we continue to run together, and even that has not caused any disagreements or fights between us.
However, I do agree with your final sentence,"Better that people expect nothing and get something than the other way around."
Whenever my parents plan a month-long trip to England (they go every year), I tease them by saying, "Enjoy my inheritance money!" My dad laughs and responds, "We will!"
NO ONE should expect anything from ANYONE when they die. My maternal grandfather died a few years ago and I was shocked when my mom gave my sister and me a portion of what she received from his estate. My paternal grandmother died a year ago. I was her prime caretaker and knew she was pretty much broke (I did her finances for her - her pension and retirement pretty much all went to her rent, utilities, and groceries). A few months ago my father sent me a check for a modest amount - apparently she had had an annuity. Not much, but something. He gave me the entire amount he received from the annuity division between he and his siblings. It was completely unexpected, but appreciated.
When it comes to my own parents, I know what FURNITURE I'll be getting because before my parents moved into their "last house" a few years ago, she went through the entire house with my sister and me, and made a list of all the furniture and who was getting what (my mom has a lot of antiques). She then attached that list to her will. When they bought their current house my parents also said we could either keep the house and rent it out, or sell it, and divide the money 50/50. But my family is open and talks about this type of stuff all the time - we're not one of those families that never talks about the inevitable.
So I know to a certain extent that I'll have an inheritance from my parents. But seeing as my parents are in their late 60s and pretty healthy for their ages, I'll probably be in my late 60s myself by the time I inherit anything. *lol* Heck, I won't even be RETIRED yet.
*sigh*
Not being retired yet depresses me much more than any thought of not having inherited anything at that point. *lol*
My mom passed away in late September. My family all insisted that her limited funds all go to her care. My youngest sister managed her money well, considering her monthly nursing home bill was 10K.
She started with so little none of us expected a thing. We were all fine with that.
Turns out that there will be much more than any of us expected.
My mother in law on the other hand is 94 and thriving. She may live another 10 years at the rate she is going. She has plenty of funds. So much so that we have sought the protection of a family trust. Her dementia is minor but she has a daughter who will run to the banks when her mother dies.
Mom in law is aware of this and changed her trust and executorship when dad in law passed away with explicit instructions that her daughter get her fair share but not be the money handler.
Without going into all the details. My sister-in-law and her husband have for years been kind of hinting/waiting around impatiently for a inheritance of about $200K from a 88 year old living parent. That is before the parent is even deceased. Its a nice gift to receive something, but I can't stand the way they act now about it.
Anyone run into this kind of thing. I would like to give them a piece of my mind.
I can't comment on anyone else' situation. What I can state is that the American notion of an inheritance (or in many cases, the failure to assure one) is not a global thing. There are some cultural traditions where the parents help the kids (and grandkids) ongoing throughout life. Money does not leave the family "ecosystem" to the extent it does here.
Now, look at today's immigrants and be honest. Which groups are doing the best?
Yes agree with all that. These two will inherit as expected (probably). In this case the Mother is stable financially. The two are in mid 60s kind of retired. One works part time with SS Other is getting disability. They live in another state with a low cost of living. Often pleading poverty yet they have a nice newer home, two nice cars and go on vacations across the country etc...
Don't think they saved much if any for retirement. So aside from SS they are depending on and waiting for this generous $200K from her Mother.
$200,000 will not go very far if the two are not able to budget and save.
Whenever my parents plan a month-long trip to England (they go every year), I tease them by saying, "Enjoy my inheritance money!" My dad laughs and responds, "We will!"
NO ONE should expect anything from ANYONE when they die. My maternal grandfather died a few years ago and I was shocked when my mom gave my sister and me a portion of what she received from his estate. My paternal grandmother died a year ago. I was her prime caretaker and knew she was pretty much broke (I did her finances for her - her pension and retirement pretty much all went to her rent, utilities, and groceries). A few months ago my father sent me a check for a modest amount - apparently she had had an annuity. Not much, but something. He gave me the entire amount he received from the annuity division between he and his siblings. It was completely unexpected, but appreciated.
When it comes to my own parents, I know what FURNITURE I'll be getting because before my parents moved into their "last house" a few years ago, she went through the entire house with my sister and me, and made a list of all the furniture and who was getting what (my mom has a lot of antiques). She then attached that list to her will. When they bought their current house my parents also said we could either keep the house and rent it out, or sell it, and divide the money 50/50. But my family is open and talks about this type of stuff all the time - we're not one of those families that never talks about the inevitable.
So I know to a certain extent that I'll have an inheritance from my parents. But seeing as my parents are in their late 60s and pretty healthy for their ages, I'll probably be in my late 60s myself by the time I inherit anything. *lol* Heck, I won't even be RETIRED yet.
*sigh*
Not being retired yet depresses me much more than any thought of not having inherited anything at that point. *lol*
We thought our mom would outlive her money. I pulled her money out of CDs and parked it in her checking account shortly before she passed. There actually was some money left, and even though it was not a fortune, I've tried to handle my share intelligently. Like your father, I gave some money to my kids, but I invested the balance. (My investment counselor is my DH.) I don't know how long I will live, and this bit invested is just another little hedge against poverty in my old age.
$200,000 will not go very far if the two are not able to budget and save.
Yes, a reckless spender can go through that much money fairly quickly. Let's start off with a new high-end car, say, $50 or 60K. There's 25% or more of the windfall gone right away. Then there are certain toys which can be very expensive - boats and motorcycles come to mind, but there are others too. Remodel the kitchen and a couple of bathrooms can easily be $20K or more. Then add paint and new carpets for the bedrooms.
Smaller but pricey things can add up over time: One can feel like a big shot and impress friends, neighbors, and relatives by treating them to expensive meals out at high-end restaurants. Travel can be pricey depending on how one does it. Ditch the Motel 6 and stay in hotels that are upwards of $100 per night.
However, for a normal person $200,000 would be a life-changing sum which would last for many, many years. Sure, an aging car might be replaced and some needed house repairs done, and one might finally take a trip long dreamed of, but a prudent person would invest most of the money so that it would be a gift that continues giving.
We encourage our parents to spend their money as all of us have done well and really don't need a single cent from them.
As the subject of death and inheritance comes up once and a while I do encourage them to spend a little of that money hiring someone to clean out their attic.
Otherwise while they are off playing doubles with George and Gracie I'll be wearing a dust mask and hauling boxes full of Kennedy assassination newspapers and envelopes stuffed with green stamps...
Yes, a reckless spender can go through that much money fairly quickly. Let's start off with a new high-end car, say, $50 or 60K. There's 25% or more of the windfall gone right away. Then there are certain toys which can be very expensive - boats and motorcycles come to mind, but there are others too. Remodel the kitchen and a couple of bathrooms can easily be $20K or more. Then add paint and new carpets for the bedrooms.
Smaller but pricey things can add up over time: One can feel like a big shot and impress friends, neighbors, and relatives by treating them to expensive meals out at high-end restaurants. Travel can be pricey depending on how one does it. Ditch the Motel 6 and stay in hotels that are upwards of $100 per night.
However, for a normal person $200,000 would be a life-changing sum which would last for many, many years. Sure, an aging car might be replaced and some needed house repairs done, and one might finally take a trip long dreamed of, but a prudent person would invest most of the money so that it would be a gift that continues giving.
My wife and I are from very hybrid (read "mutt") cultural traditions. I have to say that for us, 50K in the early days of our married life was completely life changing. Had we not gotten that we'd either have ended up renting until we were in our 40s or we'd have had to leave The Bay Area for a much less costly area.
We have a friend who moved in here much later, also from a cultural tradition that is very different from the typical American one. By the time they moved in, prices for very modest homes were cracking 7 figures. Talk about life changing, the guy's dad who was a major immigrant success story helped them out to a degree that it would probably shock most people who post here.
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