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Old 03-06-2015, 03:47 PM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,318 posts, read 3,684,902 times
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I'm hoping eventually to have two places. One summer; one winter.

Right now we look out for the elderly neighbors. (80s)
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Old 03-06-2015, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Bay Area, California
118 posts, read 131,651 times
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Wonderful post Rosemary T, I would rep you 1000 times if it were possible.

We only get one round here on earth and I believe that my creator wants it to be as full of joy and contentment as possible, and if we need to take a bit of a risk to do just that, it is a worthwhile trade off.

There are of course practical issues to be reasonably addressed, however, I believe that many of us play the hand we are dealt in life too small out of fear. Let's live where we have always dreamed of as long as possible.

I just realized a life-long dream and bought a beautiful (way too expensive) home on a lake. I'm hoping to enjoy this serene setting for maybe 20 years, then off to assisted living. Def NOT what is recommended, but I don't care, I'm following my heart & dreams... my last chance to do just that.
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Old 03-06-2015, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,411,020 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr5150 View Post
This if they are poor:
In-Home Supportive Services

This if they got some money:

Turlock Home Health Care

One does not have to depend on one's kids or grandkids, if that doesn't work.

There are tons of agencies out there.
Let's see...the three 90+ relatives we've had to serve "aging in place" required: 3-hour weekly visits to the supermarket and drugstore (they have to inspect every label in every single aisle while you stand there with your 65-year-old aching joints praying to G-d that you can survive till the end), calls in the evening (my ceiling is leaking, come quick), calls on the weekends (my gutters are falling down, help!), calls at work (where did I put my meds, help! or I fell in the l.r. and gashed my arm and no, don't send an ambulance, get here now—an hour away), my toilet or sink is clogged (can't get a plumber, get here now), I need to get to three doctor appts this week, these are the times, I nearly set myself on fire at the kitchen stove, come quick, no one ever calls or comes to see me (not)....what AGENCY is going to handle all this?
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Old 03-06-2015, 03:50 PM
 
Location: Sierra Nevada Land, CA
8,809 posts, read 9,595,958 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RosemaryT View Post
Yes, I noticed we moved into a new century about 15 years ago. I'm pretty observant on that kind of thing.

I've got two old people in my world, and I'm fairly involved in their life. The "professionals" with whom I've dealt are all about making sure the old folks "stay safe, no matter what."

From my "boots on the ground" experience, I'd say that the medical professionals I've dealt with didn't get the memo about these changes you speak of.
Now that you mention it, I agree. I work at the local Social Services (APS-Public Guardian) office and we get quite annoyed with the referrals we get from hospital staff (boots on the ground here also). It is OK with us if someone wants to die at home-even if it results from them falling. We also highly recommend a personal alarm system like Lifeline.


Medical Alert Systems & Service | Philips Lifeline ®
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Old 03-06-2015, 03:50 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
22,057 posts, read 45,507,617 times
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The issue is so subjective - definitely what works for one doesn't for the other.

My neighbors - he 84, she 78 - are living in the home they've owned since 1970 or thereabouts - and doing wonderfully - although all BRs are on the second floor, and laundry in the basement. He's always been persnickety about their own environment - you can eat off their floors, literally. To my knowledge they do all their own cleaning. He loves working in the yard, and still does. My son/dil and neighbors to the north will often do the heavy snow for them. Otherwise, he has a small snowblower which he still uses for lighter snowfalls. She at one time had been quite overweight, now is much slimmer. He is still the more fit and agile of the two despite their age difference, although he does appear somewhat weaker this year. He does all the driving and still takes road trips to MN to visit their kids.

They have two children who went to college in MN (WI has reciprocity w/MN on tuition) and settled in Minnesota. The kids visit at least four times a year. He was recently hospitalized for a week with a colon issue, daughter came and stayed for a week.

Their home is near the Catholic church they've always attended and in which they've been very active. Loads of grocery stores, pharmacies and our Medical College nearby. No reason whatsoever for them to move (nor me, for that matter). I expect should he die, his wife will move to MN to live with their daughter. In their case, aging in place is absolutely the best for them at this time. They are doing just fine.

Another never-married neighbor on the corner, 76, is still in the house he was born in. His mother (whom he cared for to the end) and grandmother both died there. I remember him and his mother walking grandma every day, and then, after her death, eventually him walking his mother. He's very active, still up and down ladders, etc. Works w/kids at the same Catholic church the other neighbor attends. Has a sister who visits. I expect he will not leave that house unless absolutely forced to.

For me, as I've said before, like the above two, I couldn't be more conveniently located. My biggest issues these days are BRs upstairs, laundry in basement. But, the location is perfect. Son/dil live next door. I'm fine where I am, high taxes and maintenance notwithstanding. Should son/dil move, then I suppose I will relocate to senior housing very nearby - there are several to choose from. I'm not above hiring people to do yard work and snow when necessary. From time to time we do this. Much easier than moving.

It really all depends.......
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Old 03-06-2015, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Sierra Nevada Land, CA
8,809 posts, read 9,595,958 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
Let's see...the three 90+ relatives we've had to serve "aging in place" required: 3-hour weekly visits to the supermarket and drugstore (they have to inspect every label in every single aisle while you stand there with your 65-year-old aching joints praying to G-d that you can survive till the end), calls in the evening (my ceiling is leaking, come quick), calls on the weekends (my gutters are falling down, help!), calls at work (where did I put my meds, help! or I fell in the l.r. and gashed my arm and no, don't send an ambulance, get here now—an hour away), my toilet or sink is clogged (can't get a plumber, get here now), I need to get to three doctor appts this week, these are the times, I nearly set myself on fire at the kitchen stove, come quick, no one ever calls or comes to see me (not)....what AGENCY is going to handle all this?
It is a personal choice and I admire your dedication. But you need to decide where to draw the line for your own sanity.

Have (help) them hire a contractor to fix their homes

Meds: Get a meds box.

That Turlock outfit or IHSS can take care of the shopping, doctor appts and will set up a meds box-I am sure there are similar agencies in your area..

Lifeline for the falling.
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Old 03-06-2015, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,659 posts, read 9,185,497 times
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I prefer to age on the job. I've got almost 50 years of experience. I can do that from home or the office. Why quit when you're ahead?
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Old 03-06-2015, 03:59 PM
 
Location: Great State of Texas
86,068 posts, read 74,120,017 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
Let's see...the three 90+ relatives we've had to serve "aging in place" required: 3-hour weekly visits to the supermarket and drugstore (they have to inspect every label in every single aisle while you stand there with your 65-year-old aching joints praying to G-d that you can survive till the end), calls in the evening (my ceiling is leaking, come quick), calls on the weekends (my gutters are falling down, help!), calls at work (where did I put my meds, help! or I fell in the l.r. and gashed my arm and no, don't send an ambulance, get here now—an hour away), my toilet or sink is clogged (can't get a plumber, get here now), I need to get to three doctor appts this week, these are the times, I nearly set myself on fire at the kitchen stove, come quick, no one ever calls or comes to see me (not)....what AGENCY is going to handle all this?
And if you dropped everything and went each and every time then you may have just added to their dependency on you and possibly made it worse on yourself.
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Old 03-06-2015, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
14,102 posts, read 25,979,160 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
Gonna live where we want and how we want. Oh! Wait! That's what we're doing and has been since we both retired. What a concept!

Where our children and grandchildren live is not a factor as with today's mobile society, too many have moved to be near them or stayed in place because of them only to have them pick-up and move elsewhere as jobs, finances, medical issues, weather patterns or new employment opportunities have beckoned or dictated.

How willing are you to let your children and/or grandchildren essentially dictate how and where you spend your retirement years? We're certainly not.
So much agree with this. Kids pretty much determined how your life was going to be lived for the best part of it. Do what you want with your retirement!
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Old 03-06-2015, 05:07 PM
 
14,173 posts, read 6,754,789 times
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From the article:

Blinded by emotional factors such as the memories that attach to a beloved home, older people may hunker down in a house that is no longer physically easy to navigate, expensive to maintain, and inconveniently located to meet a person’s daily needs such as grocery shopping or doctors. The neighbors and friends who once made it an attractive home may also have moved away or died, leaving them isolated. They can feel incompetent and out-of-control – outside their “residential mastery zones,” Golant writes. These folks, he argues, might be better off moving someplace else.

-----------------------------------


I am so ready to downsize and am frustrated that we haven't been able to find a way to do so yet. As the article also explained, there are programs to help those who are poor but when you're middle class, not so much.

I'm 61 and my husband is 69. He plans to retire within a year. We still can shovel snow and maintain the yard. Also, we can still handle steps. But for how long? Already, two of our wonderful neighbors who know we're empty nesters, have, without asking, cleared off our driveway after a snow storm. We appreciate it very much and are sure to properly thank them. However, part of me feels bad about this as we are still able to do this ourselves and we know that clearing their own driveways is a lot of work---never mind doing ours.

For us "aging in place" would mean finding a condo that's on one floor in an elevator building, with good public transportation nearby (after all, what happens when we can't drive anymore?) and in a walkable area.

Our current home is not a spot to "age in place" because for reasons mentioned above plus we really need a car to do anything.
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