Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
As we age, we often look back on opportunities we didn't take with regret, or opportunities we took, but blew. That's normal, but do you ever feel like the years have passed and you were just sitting their idle, and nothing got done?
I was afraid that I would not get to do things I wanted (travel) before I was too old so I did everything I could, we did without, lived below our means, saved, invested etc so we could retire early and travel before it was too late. January 2014 my husband retired, I semi-retired and we started to live our dream, we took off for a month, then planned on going again mid April. Then my mother took a stroke in April 2, 2014. She made no plans for her elder years, no savings, doesn't qualify for help. She needs 24/7 supervision, needs financial assistance and now both me and my husband are stuck here.
I did feel like I squandered my youth. I look back at it and can't really recall anything significant or interesting. I grew up in a sheltered suburban type of situation. The bulk of my youth was spent in that couple of blocks of the neighborhood.
No, I don't feel that way. I do wonder what would have happened if I had made different decisions along the way, but even one different decision may have screwed up other, wonderful things on down the line.
Life can be full of should-have's and could-have's, and a person can drive themselves nuts agonizing over them.
I've been happy with my life for a long time now. I wouldn't change a thing.
I don't feel like life has passed me by, but I look back and regret living for the future. I always expected "to arrive" one day - one day I would be married, one day I would have kids, one day I would get to be a stay at home mom, etc... Now all those things I was looking forward to behind me or never happened. I feel like I never lived in the moment and enjoyed what I had when I had it.
I was afraid that I would not get to do things I wanted (travel) before I was too old so I did everything I could, we did without, lived below our means, saved, invested etc so we could retire early and travel before it was too late. January 2014 my husband, I semi-retired and we started to live our dream, we took off for a month, then planned on going again mid April. Then my mother took a stroke in April 2, 2014. She made no plans for her elder years, no savings, doesn't qualify for help. She needs 24/7 supervision, needs financial assistance and now both me and my husband are stuck here.
Our dream is over and yes life is passing us by.
At some point, mother can't impede your life anymore.
I was afraid that I would not get to do things I wanted (travel) before I was too old so I did everything I could, we did without, lived below our means, saved, invested etc so we could retire early and travel before it was too late. January 2014 my husband, I semi-retired and we started to live our dream, we took off for a month, then planned on going again mid April. Then my mother took a stroke in April 2, 2014. She made no plans for her elder years, no savings, doesn't qualify for help. She needs 24/7 supervision, needs financial assistance and now both me and my husband are stuck here.
Our dream is over and yes life is passing us by.
I am very sorry this is happening.
Why is it that your mother "doesn't qualify for any help"? Do you have siblings? Does Medicaid help with your situation? My sister lived in a nursing home for 10 years and between her SSI and Medicaid, we had no expenses.
Not really. I've tried to live in the moment as much as I could.
I am sorry that some things didn't work out, but it wasn't because of anything I could have changed or done differently.
There were things I wanted to do, but rejected because they would be too risky. For example, I wanted to try sky-diving, but I have scoliosis and feared the effects of the landing.
There were risks I did decide to take, since they seemed like the right thing to do at the time; but I regretted them later. Anyone who bought real estate in 2005 can relate to that, I'd bet :-)
And there were risks I took, which both gave, and took away. Life is like that.
Not a case of being idle (anything but ... can you say treadmill?) ... but a case of many lost years due to economic destruction.
The first wave of destruction was at our own collective hand, as we facilitated the massive offshoring and outsourcing of good paying jobs during the 1990s and into the 00s a bit.
The second wave was the Crash of '07 - '08.
People who spent most of their careers during the period between the late 1950s and the late 80s had a vastly different experience. Sure there was inflation during part of that plus a few tough years in terms of unemployment when the Fed raised interest rates to combat inflation. But those issues were nothing like the two I mentioned above in terms of long term set backs on careers and personal finances.
I look back on 18-22 and wonder what I did other than chase women. I didn't get serious about my education until I was 21-22 and was 24 when I graduated back in 2010 during the hellish recession. Had I graduated on time in 2008 before TSHTF maybe things would be different.
Realistically the two years would have made very little difference. Things were already getting pretty bad in '08.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
