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View Poll Results: Move back near family or stay in relationship?
Move Back near family 26 86.67%
Stay in relationship 4 13.33%
Voters: 30. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 02-27-2016, 09:43 AM
 
21 posts, read 21,545 times
Reputation: 43

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I retired at age 55 & moved a year ago from my family & don't know if I made a mistake. The relationship with my family is not the same even with Skype or calling; it can't compare. I left behind my adult children (35, 33, youngest 23) my grandchildren & my Parents. I know I will never get this time back. Perhaps my move was premature. I struggle with the idea of moving back but the man I am with refuses to move back. Torn up! My family & I are very close but all changed, Holidays, etc.
Do I move back to be close to my Family or stay in a relationship with my BF of 6 years?
He has no relationship with my family (complicated) which makes the distance even worse & I go alone to visit them.
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Old 02-27-2016, 10:25 AM
 
5,097 posts, read 6,355,427 times
Reputation: 11750
Seems to be more of a relationship issue with BF than living away from family.
Did this not occur to you when you moved away?

Are you going to grow to resent BF? Angry with him? Don't deny it. There are control issues. It's inevitable.


Is your family giving you a hard time about being away?
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Old 02-27-2016, 10:26 AM
 
12,064 posts, read 10,292,934 times
Reputation: 24806
If there is a complicated relationship between your man and your family, I would say ditch the man and find someone that is compatible with all.
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Old 02-27-2016, 10:27 AM
 
12,064 posts, read 10,292,934 times
Reputation: 24806
It really should not be either or.
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Old 02-27-2016, 10:33 AM
 
Location: Retired in VT; previously MD & NJ
14,267 posts, read 6,972,499 times
Reputation: 17878
So whose idea was it to move in the first place? Who picked the location and why there? And why move at all? How far away are you from your family? What was it that convinced you to move away from your family? Why does your BF refuse to move back?
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Old 02-27-2016, 10:35 AM
 
21 posts, read 21,545 times
Reputation: 43
I suppose deep within my soul I know there are problems in my relationship. Most likely control. Difficult to see when you are in it. It happens slowly. I do however long to be near my Family. I have a decision to make & suppose I am just scared. Sounds crazy at my age. Thank you all for your input.
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Old 02-27-2016, 10:39 AM
 
21 posts, read 21,545 times
Reputation: 43
Moved from NY TO FL because of weather, finances, etc. However I followed him... Not my idea. If sitation was different between him & family the move might not be bad but my Children should feel comfortable visiting me and they don't.
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Old 02-27-2016, 10:53 AM
 
Location: SoCal
20,160 posts, read 12,785,638 times
Reputation: 16993
As long as they and I stay in California then it's all fine. My husband moved far away but he kept contact and we visited them often. When telephone became cheap, we call them every week for at least half an hour.
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Old 02-27-2016, 11:09 AM
 
11,652 posts, read 12,729,464 times
Reputation: 15797
If the choice is between a boyfriend, even one of 6 years, and your own children, the decision is a no-brainer.

I know that you are not married, but wonder if there is some financial incentive for the boyfriend alienating you from your family. Do have property and other assets?
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Old 02-27-2016, 12:10 PM
 
2,334 posts, read 2,651,303 times
Reputation: 3933
The OP: It sounds like you really want to go back home; if you weren't sure, you wouldn't be posting this. I think you already know what you want to do but maybe just want / feel you need objective opinions, but I feel you instinctively DO want to move back and just need a little "push." Listen to your instincts; we don't know your life. You know the answer already.

You'll do the right thing.
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