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Old 01-05-2018, 12:45 PM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,645,249 times
Reputation: 13548

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Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
I honestly think they both legitimately are at risk for homelessness. We don't have the degree of friendship that I think they are going to ask to live with me, so this isn't from the perspective of self-preservation, but I still wouldn't want to see someone I'm friends with homeless.
This is their choice, so I'd say let it go and stop being sad about something that may not happen and you have no control over.
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Old 01-05-2018, 12:51 PM
 
13,923 posts, read 7,416,674 times
Reputation: 25432
https://www.fool.com/retirement/2017...ough-reti.aspx
Quote:
By the time you reach age 55, you likely have 15 years or less to go before you retire. That's why it's so troubling that the Federal Reserve's 2016 Survey of Consumer Finances found that workers between the ages of 55 and 64 had an average retirement savings balance of just $135,000, which is not nearly enough to provide the income retirees need to live in comfort and financial security.
2/3 of the country approaching retirement age has a big problem. I just make sure I'm taking care of my own retirement funding. Like most people, I could have done a better job of it. I'm not going to throw rocks at somebody else.
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Old 01-05-2018, 12:51 PM
 
Location: Raleigh
8,047 posts, read 5,897,376 times
Reputation: 9785
Quote:
Originally Posted by SportyandMisty View Post
Get new friends. The friends who never learned the lessons of the parable of the 3 Little Pigs do not possess good judgment. They do not possess good decision making skills.
ITYM, the ant and the grasshopper.
3LP is about construction standards.
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Old 01-05-2018, 12:55 PM
 
29,782 posts, read 34,880,403 times
Reputation: 11705
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
The only thing that I might do, if I were you, is mention some of my retirement plans such as "I am really looking forward to taking a few international vacations with my best friends when I retire" or " I am looking forward being able to try out new restaurants or go to more Broadway shows (or whatever) with my friends" or "I plan to join the country club so I can golf many times per week. Doesn't that sound like fun? Do you want to be part of a regular four-some? "
We have been retired ten years having done so early. The husband and I would talk about we just disagreed and he would always say he wanted to see his kids enjoy his money. He stayed in debt and spent every penny who could. The wife liked to spend and we had the sense she had her shares of bills but there was limited financial conversations when the four of us were together. We had one conversation years ago while the four of us were in the car. He had gone out on disability and was collecting his pension early. We were not yet retired nor was she. She raised the point to my wife about the challenge after being retired with two pensions if one one of us passed. We immediately said we were doing spousal so they would continue. She asked her husband if that was what he had done. He said no and gave a reason. If looks and words could kill!

We knew she had spent most of her workplace savings prior to retirement. Her husband passed last year and she has shared things and is struggling having retired over a year ago. She has a pension and is now paycheck to paycheck she at one point shared what her savings were down to. She has a federal pension, thus no SS.

She was surprised we got three checks a month. She asked us about waiting a month for a check. We explained our schedule. She even said to my wife you are pay check to pay check also arenít you. My wife said no and nothing else. We had taken her out to lunch and told her as usual our treat. She asked whatís the limit we told her none.

She has no idea and her jaw would drop. She has visited us and seen both places and was probably making faulty assumptions.
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Old 01-05-2018, 01:27 PM
 
10 posts, read 7,738 times
Reputation: 42
Personally I wouldn't worry about it FOR them, if it was a priority they could try to do something on their own. Maybe they just don't have the money/desire. Who cares, no one is going to be retiring anymore in the country in any real sense except for a minute few percentage wise. This country is going towards policies that will lead to attrition of the old, poor, etc.. They will most likely die before they have to face the reality of 401K and all that other investment crap. Live now, there's likely nothing to look forward too being old and retired anyway. Besides losing your house (if you own one) to a nursing home.
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Old 01-05-2018, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Southern California
23,785 posts, read 8,278,461 times
Reputation: 15502
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spuggy View Post
This is their choice, so I'd say let it go and stop being sad about something that may not happen and you have no control over.
What are friends for? To plant seeds in one's minds on what is down the road.
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Old 01-05-2018, 01:55 PM
 
Location: the Old Dominion
295 posts, read 149,807 times
Reputation: 1382
Default ...saving a drowning friend...

Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
Nope, it's not me. I don't have as much saved as some here seem to have, but from every calculator I've looked at (and I look at them all the time), I'm on track to have a comfortable retirement. Not extravagant but I don't lead an extravagant lifestyle now.

And I think Dave Ramsey is a jerk who gives a lot of bad advice.

But while I do accept I can't change them or their lives, I do worry about my friends and what their futures will hold if they don't make any changes.
Part of being a good friend is grabbing your close friend by the lapels and shouting, "Wake the &**% up!"

I nearly ruined my life when an estranged friend literally took me by the shoulders and screamed in my face that I was about to &**$ my life up. I thank G-d for his boldness and caring enough to wake me up.
I say step to the plate and make it happen. Start off with the words I love you and I have to say this......

Gauge your boldness and method according to their personalities, not convention.

Good luck!
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Old 01-05-2018, 01:58 PM
 
Location: the Old Dominion
295 posts, read 149,807 times
Reputation: 1382
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaminhealth View Post
What are friends for? To plant seeds in one's minds on what is down the road.
...and then let it go. Accepting no action on the part of your friends can be tough.
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Old 01-05-2018, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Tampa, FL
27,798 posts, read 26,227,061 times
Reputation: 14611
if the topic of retirement, saving, investing comes up in normal conversation, then by all means, talk about what you're doing and offer them info if they seem interested - but wouldn't push the topic or the idea that they're behind the eightball - might come across as preachy
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Old 01-05-2018, 02:28 PM
 
Location: Mt. Lebanon
1,844 posts, read 1,944,853 times
Reputation: 1899
well, are they good friends of yours? do you really care deeply about their well being? but even then it would feel kind of weird to interfere, unless your profession is financial planner.
perhaps they want to retire overseas where the SSI goes a long way. perhaps they have money, inheritance, or other property. It doesn't necessarily have to be an 401k. who knows?
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