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Old 07-28-2019, 10:56 PM
 
1,229 posts, read 369,171 times
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I think you need to be more upfront with everyone about your vision issues. The more they know, the more they can make things easier for you. So, take your husband and go. He can do his own thing when you don't need his assistance.
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Old 07-28-2019, 11:33 PM
 
6,909 posts, read 3,909,635 times
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I have MS and often need to hold a hand or arm to keep my balance. This has gradually become more necessary, and my husband and/or son help willingly. Your daughter sounds like she would help you i f you simply prepare her ahead of time. Being honest about it so you are safe is much better than ruining the vacation with an avoidable accident. Honestly, my mother kept her health challenges hidden from me and I was really hurt and insulted that she didn't have more faith in me to help. Good luck and I hope you have a great time!!
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Old Yesterday, 04:25 AM
 
11,227 posts, read 8,611,769 times
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1. Ask the folks at the airport for assistance to get you to your gate. This is a normal request and they have staff dedicated for providing assistance.
2. If these ladies are your friends, they won't mind helping you. Just ask for the help you need. A good friend won't mind holding a hand or lending an arm.

Maybe it's time you stopped hiding your condition and learn to accept it. No one is judging you.
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Old Yesterday, 05:48 AM
 
Location: R.I.
999 posts, read 613,999 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post

Not sure if a couple of the girls know the extent of my vision issues - maybe not. My daughter is the one who invited me but she views me as a really tough, cool mom. She, of course, knows about the vision issues but she probably wouldn't hold my hand like my husband would!!

I just don't want to make other uncomfortable - that's one of the reasons I fake it - I feel it when people feel uncomfortable but as people get older, more people have issues shall we say. My husband is my support system in so many ways but I'm his also.

I think you are very much underestimating your daughter's ability and willingness to be of assistance to you which would enable you to go on this trip without your husband. And what you perceive as you being a burden to your daughter and decide to not go on this trip as a result, not only are you giving up precious time you could be spending with your daughter, she herself may become distressed because her perception may be that you did not have enough confidence in her ability to come up to the plate and assist you.

PS - I too have vision loss and if I did not ask family, friends, coworkers, and strangers for assistance when I need it my life would be very limited.
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Old Yesterday, 08:39 AM
 
6,375 posts, read 3,614,623 times
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And don't forget that airports have wheelchairs available to get you from your gate to the exit. Go ahead and ask for one to be waiting for you and someone will help you and your luggage navigate your way out.
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Old Yesterday, 08:44 AM
 
382 posts, read 75,332 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
I'm a bit anxious when it comes to air travel. Always glad to get there. Always glad to get back too.

My daughter is just awesome. She is kind; there was a time when she was in college and embarrassed by me. I fell down 3 brick steps (ouch) outside of her dorm. On the way in, it was a ramp. I thought we were going out the same way we came in and did not judge it right.

When you get really hurt like that, it doesn't hurt right away and we went to a football game (walked).
But, when I got back to the hotel room hours later - thank God I had hose on plus tight jeans. It saved me.

I could hardly walk. But, I didn't make a big deal since it was all her sorority sisters and I had never met the group before. That was a long time ago but still, it's in my memory.

I have my own business and right now, it's really busy. I'm slammed. I'm hoping my son joins me work wise - even part time - he's working on it - has to become licensed.

My husband has his own business also and it's from that the misfortune happened. Legal - we fought the government on something but ultimately prevailed. It cost a fortune and I'm paying it back which is taking forever. But, a promise is a promise.

26 years ago, I had to buy my parents a condo. Just paid it off this month finally after 2 cash outs for medical bills (theirs) and being underwater. Finally. I'm just mad at myself I didn't pay it off faster. But, at least, it's done. That's my 401K. LOL.

I started working when I was 15 to help my parents. I was the oldest and had huge medical bills from my vision issues when I was a baby until around 7 to 8 years old. They tried everything to no avail. I went to HS, worked 3 jobs to help, put aside all my dreams but good things happened along the way; my brother and I were able to start a business we had for 17 years and built it up to 34 employees. My brother made the decision in a meeting to agree to sell it at a much lower price than it was worth so we never got the value but life goes out. I'm in a related career to that but had to start from stratch.

I do apologize to my children about working so much but they are so cool with it. Super independent both of them; no grandchildren for me yet but they both have good heads on their shoulders; thank God no drugs or smoking. Some drinking during college and after but I see that tapering off. Both eat healthy and I don't know where they got that from - LOL!! So proud of both of them.

So, I've always run behind everyone else trying to catch up. It was that way in grade school also. Took me 2 hours to do the homework everyone else got done in 1 hour but the vision impact was there then.

So, you can kind of see why I lean on my husband. If I can get away for a couple of days and laptop will travel, I can try to do it. We'll see.

Just don't want to be a burden to anyone on the trip.
Analysis Paralysis.
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Old Yesterday, 09:04 AM
 
Location: SoCal
13,439 posts, read 6,433,987 times
Reputation: 10023
My husband and I often walk holding hands, it may look romantic, but the real truth behind that is sometime he misses something and trip or I miss something and trip, holding another person’s hands help stabilize us. We are at the age it’s easy to fall without any serious health issue. I would ask for help if I were going.
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Old Yesterday, 09:06 AM
 
382 posts, read 75,332 times
Reputation: 799
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
My husband and I often walk holding hands, it may look romantic, but the real truth behind that is sometime he misses something and trip or I miss something and trip, holding another personís hands help stabilize us. We are at the age itís easy to fall without any serious health issue. I would ask for help if I were going.
That almost sounds extra risky. If one person falls, that person may bring the other person down too.
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Old Yesterday, 09:23 AM
 
Location: SoCal
13,439 posts, read 6,433,987 times
Reputation: 10023
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCal_Native View Post
That almost sounds extra risky. If one person falls, that person may bring the other person down too.
No, itís the opposite. It saved us many times. Uneven sidewalks.
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Old Yesterday, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,200 posts, read 8,723,157 times
Reputation: 6233
Smile Thanks...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Harpaint View Post
I have MS and often need to hold a hand or arm to keep my balance. This has gradually become more necessary, and my husband and/or son help willingly. Your daughter sounds like she would help you i f you simply prepare her ahead of time. Being honest about it so you are safe is much better than ruining the vacation with an avoidable accident. Honestly, my mother kept her health challenges hidden from me and I was really hurt and insulted that she didn't have more faith in me to help. Good luck and I hope you have a great time!!
Yes, she knows, of course.

I am not staying with her though - she suggested I stay where I stayed last time and I'm doing that.
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