Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
City Data 91, Tabularusa pretty much summed it up for me. Living in a city affords you the opportunity to be anonymous and be a hermit. Nobody knows your business and no one really cares.
I live in an apartment in the city, and I don't even know who my neighbors are, yet when I lived in a small town, I knew practically everyone, and everywhere I went there, people were always making small talk and trying to get to know you.
Therefore I believe it would be much more difficult in a small town to remain anonymous, you would have to go out of your way to be a hermit in a small town.
It depends on if your definition of a private lifestyle is more determined by people looking at you, or people knowing things about you. Yes, more eyes will fall on you if you live in a place with a larger population and go outside on occasion. But fewer people will know you or care to know you.
I have without fail felt far more isolated when I've lived in large urban areas than when I lived remotely/rurally. If I lived alone and died in my apartment in my current city, it would be days or weeks before anybody noticed and found my body. In my small hometown, somebody would notice that they hadn't seen me after about a day, maybe less.
I can see how some could think living rural small towns would be boring. Our life seems less hurried so I tend to think we spend more time on family values. Ones that will enrich and help us along our journey no matter where we might end up.
In the city, if a dog wanders into the road, there will be someone coming along in a car with a kill mentality thinking, "2 points to hit the mutt." In a small town, all drivers including big rigs will stop for the dog to move out of the road.
In the city, you are walking distance to the store, but you always drive, for your safety. In a small town, "walking distance" involves a mile or more and can be walked safely any time of day.
In the city there are plenty of things to do but kids still get into trouble. In a small town, the choices are fewer, but kids rarely get into trouble because they are busy helping an elderly neighbor or earning money for a monthly trip to a bowling alley or movie theater.
In the city, dogs running loose are impounded. In the small towns, neighbors know everyone and their dogs. Neighbors will make sure the dog gets back home safely and/or that the owner is alright.
City folks think there is nothing to do in small towns. That's because small town folks like visiting with each other, mending clothes, enjoying the quiet nature of the neighborhood and that everyone in the community store knows them. It's a feeling of belonging and spirit that is uncommon to city dwellers.
I can see your viewpoint. To me, anonymity is practically a valueless commodity, though. I've just never personally been very private. Whether this is a personality trait I come by naturally that just happens to gel well with that aspect of living in small communities, or if it's an environmentally derived characteristic due to having spent formative years in such a setting, well, it's hard to determine.
But either way, those shared experiences are what make up a community, to me. Also why it's hard to get any real sense of community, as I know and have experienced it, living in much more metropolitan areas as I do now. I don't know if I have anything in common with the people in my neighborhood (or even my building), because I don't know the people in my neighborhood or my building. I live in a city now, and that has its benefits, to be sure. But I do NOT live in a community, if the word is used as I use it, to denote a bonded group of individuals. I could keel over tomorrow and nobody here but my boyfriend and our respected work acquaintances would know or care. Not the case, where I'm from.
I agree, anonymity is a valueless commodity....
I love small towns for the very reason everyone knows who you are. Some folks will say, well everyone knows your business... I just make sure i don't do anything that would give someone else something to talk about
I love walking down the street or across my parking lot with my dog, and having the folks stop to pet the dog and say hi to him and me.. I like actually being able to talk to folks who care.
Funny enough, doing what I do for a living.. I usually become somewhat of a big celebrity in town, a name and voice everyone knows, but in reality.. I like being a normal average everyday person, and most people in small towns think of me that way.. whereas, in big cities.. most people wouldn't bother to get to know me past my job.
It just depends on your personality, priorities, and values...as well as what you're used to, and how attached you are to the atmosphere to which you are accustomed. To some people, absolute privacy is a must. I really don't care too much about privacy, at least not to the point where I'd sacrifice a sense of community and camaraderie with my community over it. And, yes, I would probably feel differently if I had anything in my life that I really minded people knowing about, but I don't.
RadioBroadcaster, it's funny...I was a newspaper reporter and editor for years in a set of small communities, and the "celebrity" status thing is so true. In an urban area, nobody really knows the face of the press, unless you're a syndicated columnist, or something. But most people walk past their city's writers in a bar, in a restaurant, on a bus, etc. and never even know it. In a small town, a position like that gets you recognition...but nobody really treats you any differenty, all told. They just know who you are.
It just depends on your personality, priorities, and values...as well as what you're used to, and how attached you are to the atmosphere to which you are accustomed. To some people, absolute privacy is a must. I really don't care too much about privacy, at least not to the point where I'd sacrifice a sense of community and camaraderie with my community over it. And, yes, I would probably feel differently if I had anything in my life that I really minded people knowing about, but I don't.
RadioBroadcaster, it's funny...I was a newspaper reporter and editor for years in a set of small communities, and the "celebrity" status thing is so true. In an urban area, nobody really knows the face of the press, unless you're a syndicated columnist, or something. But most people walk past their city's writers in a bar, in a restaurant, on a bus, etc. and never even know it. In a small town, a position like that gets you recognition...but nobody really treats you any differenty, all told. They just know who you are.
Ive had people recognize me just when I tell them what my name is.. thats how close knit and small this community is.. they know everyone.
And you're right, no one treated me any different, they just happened to think it was cool I was "THE Voice" they listened to every weekday afternoon (or weekday morning.. depending on what station I was working on).
And i like it that way.. Im a regular guy, I don't want, need or seek out extra attention. I just happen to be your next door neighbor who's voice booms out from a radio transmitter and tall tower somewhere in town.
Right now, I've got two small kids and they keep me pretty busy. Used to live in a bigger city where I couldn't afford my own house, no back yard, but more things like museums, parks, places to eat out, etc.
But last year we moved to a small town. Our own house, big yard, etc. The school system is great and everthing in this town is for the kids. Every sport and activity you can think of. Summer programs up the wazoo, so the kids will never complain.
However, when they are about 17,18,19, I can see that there may be some complaining down the line, but who knows.
If I was young, single and childless, I'd never move here. I'd stay in the city where I was from.
But for now, I love where we live, it's great for all of us.
Btw, I'm not too rural, about 18 minutes from the "city", not NYC, mind you, but a big enough city where I can pretty much get everything I need.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
