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Nala8, I'm thinking you may be a real exception to what, unfortunately, seems to be the rule. You keep on doing what you're doing, keep an open and forgiving heart (which it seems you really do have) have patience (ok, maybe a lot of patience, more than you should have to) and folks will come around.
Sounds like you're looking for the positive things. Keep that attitude and you're going to be ok. Folks will start accepting you. There'll be some that never will, and you know what? They aren't worth worrying about.
I've known some folks that kind of have a wait-and-see-if-they'll-stick attitude about newcomers. If they think they will, they begin opening up. Hope you start seeing that.
Nala8, We've told city folks how it works and got laughed at for our our efforts many times. Just ask. Also, we might figure that sooner or later YOU'LL figure out what you're doing wrong. My own dad did that to me a lot, but I never forgot those lessons. Picture young girl helping her father overhaul tractor moter. Hold the screwdriver close to the end of the plug to see if it is firing. I held the metal shaft of the screwdriver. Yep. It was firing. I can promise you it was. He didn't tell me to hold the plastic handle and just observe. Nope, I had to hold the metal shank and get shocked. Hang in there. We're on your side.
Guess I'm just tired of being shocked. lol. Realistically, though, I am getting there.
Nala8, I'm thinking you may be a real exception to what, unfortunately, seems to be the rule. You keep on doing what you're doing, keep an open and forgiving heart (which it seems you really do have) have patience (ok, maybe a lot of patience, more than you should have to) and folks will come around.
Sounds like you're looking for the positive things. Keep that attitude and you're going to be ok. Folks will start accepting you. There'll be some that never will, and you know what? They aren't worth worrying about.
I've known some folks that kind of have a wait-and-see-if-they'll-stick attitude about newcomers. If they think they will, they begin opening up. Hope you start seeing that.
I like your attitude. Good luck!
Yes, yes, yes...on all counts. Thank you. Yeah, I do love this place, always have. And love is patient.
I do get the feeling that folks are waiting to see if I'll stick around.
I appreciate your insights and encouragement. I'm going to hang in there. Things will change. Just last night, after hanging out with a new friend, I said, "I'm out." (East coast city talk for bye bye). Being a fellow poet, he laughs a bit, turns it around with a clever twist, and says with much warmth in his voice, "You're in." Wow...
You might want to read (and get a kick out of) this brochure that was born out of just such a discussion on one of my horse lists - people who move to the country and then try to change everything. It has some good pointers in among the humor on how to get along with your country neighbors and not be considered a "citiot".
That brochure was great...I wish I could get it to my neighbors with out them knowing...I've got two Citiots next door...big outdoor lights on all night The newer one came in and cleared the all the land right up to my property line - no buffer what so ever and the have "yard dogs" that they turn loose I've got several other people in the neighborhood that also have "yard dogs" If I still had my tractor with front end loader it'd be the 3 S's for them. We also have a real problem with people dumping on my little dirt road
That brochure was great...I wish I could get it to my neighbors with out them knowing...I've got two Citiots next door...big outdoor lights on all night The newer one came in and cleared the all the land right up to my property line - no buffer what so ever and the have "yard dogs" that they turn loose I've got several other people in the neighborhood that also have "yard dogs" If I still had my tractor with front end loader it'd be the 3 S's for them. We also have a real problem with people dumping on my little dirt road
You've hit on a couple of my pet peeves as well...the dadgum BRIGHT lights that are usually poorly aimed. We have some in the area that are blinding when you are driving...I've had thoughts of playing sniper at night...just thoughts, mind you, but it's tempting.
The dumping can be a problem at my place as well...that and dumping dogs.
We moved to a rural area in Michigan from S. California last year and we have had a lot of encouragement from our neighbors and others we meet. We got plugged in right away at a church and that has really helped us to make friends. Our kids love it here though they do miss friends that we left behind.
I loved the brochure and I don't think we are acting like citiots but now I will be watching myself pretty closely! Everytime I drive down the road to our house I am still overwhelmed with how beautiful everything is and how much it changes with the seasons. The dark roads were a little scary at first but we've gotten used to it. I'm still not fond of driving in the snow but that's what I signed up for in moving here. As for comparing Ca with Michigan, I only the compare the traffic and Michigan wins hands down.
Hey, just print out the brochure (wearing gloves, of course!, and following the copyright requirements that are on the back page, I believe it is), and drop it in the mail!
Or, more generally, print out a bunch of them, likewise following the copyright requirements, and drop them off wherever freebie literature is in your community and hope the right people pick them up. I've found the feed stores are absolutely delighted, for example, to have them dropped off - they love 'em, for much the same reasons we do!
Glad I found this section. Thanks for the great posts and insights. I am a newbie here. LIfe went on just fine before I got here. This is what I'd like newcomers to think about and remember before they invade a new town...They are newbies stepping into an ongoing and existing culture. How do you feel about it? Thanks CK
However, in defense of newcomers------------don't let the folks who are already living there run " rough shod" over you.
I have also witnessed newcomers taking advantage of by people who own more land than the newcomer and thus show little respect for the small lanowner who is the " newcomer"
One instance is the bigger landowner turning around on your land as he tills his fields.
Even though Madison is not exactly a small town, many of the people here come from small towns and give the city a kind of small-town charm along with small-town sensibilities.
It's sweet when a city person looks around, notices the country people and decides that although they are different from her or him, they're charming. It's a trifle condescending, but it's sweet and cute.
Now, here's what I think about city folks moving to small towns or to the country: City Slicker's Lament.
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The newer one came in and cleared the all the land right up to my property line - no buffer what so ever and the have "yard dogs" that they turn loose
