Move closer to school, or suck it up and commute? (San Diego: how much, home)

[Sambazon]

So I'm a San Diego native, having lived in Escondido my entire life. I'm planning on attending UCSD next year and campus is about 45 minutes away. I've entertained the idea of moving much closer to campus when the time comes, however, my older sister suggests I stick it out until I graduate college and start my career in order to save [my parents'] money.

While I feel this would be a practical approach, I cannot imagine commuting 45+ minutes and risk being late to class (I've heard parking isn't too pretty down there), nor would I want to detract time I could be investing in studying. Generally speaking, would I really be saving more by staying at home and driving back and forth, over finding an affordable place near campus with a roommate or two?

[oddstray]

Talk with your parents about it. Their opinion counts more than your sister's, since it's their money.

[shmoov_groovzsd]

Its good advice from your sister from a purely financial standpoint, but I would advise against it. What it doesnt account for are all the possible extra curricular activities you can partake in. For the dime they would be saving, you personally would be losing the college experience or at least half in/half out.

Part of going to college is to be "in" college. If you want to just commute to school, then saving money would be going to a community college instead of UCSD.

Basically dont be the guy at the party or hangout that is like "I cant, I need to drive back home". I heard that way too often during school for guys/gals that lived far away. Either had to take a train/subway home. They missed a lot of great experiences.

However if the social aspect of college isnt for you, then maybe take your sisters advice.

[Sambazon]

Originally Posted by oddstray

Talk with your parents about it. Their opinion counts more than your sister's, since it's their money.

Well said. I've briefly discussed this with them a couple times, and they both were willing to allow me to live close to campus on their dime--especially my dad.

Originally Posted by shmoov_groovzsd

Its good advice from your sister from a purely financial standpoint, but I would advise against it. What it doesnt account for are all the possible extra curricular activities you can partake in. For the dime they would be saving, you personally would be losing the college experience or at least half in/half out.

Part of going to college is to be "in" college. If you want to just commute to school, then saving money would be going to a community college instead of UCSD.

Basically dont be the guy at the party or hangout that is like "I cant, I need to drive back home". I heard that way too often during school for guys/gals that lived far away. Either had to take a train/subway home. They missed a lot of great experiences.

However if the social aspect of college isnt for you, then maybe take your sisters advice.

I'm actually attending a community college right now, so I'm pretty much experiencing the commuter aspect at the moment, where I simply show up for my lectures, talk to classmates, and then go home. I would love my experience at UCSD to be different; I enjoy stepping out of my comfort zone, being social and making new friends. I just don't see that happening much if I stay at home, for the reasons you've mentioned.

I've also thought of playing sports, and living nearly an hour away would make it very difficult for me. Additionally, I'm an engineering major (who put school on hold for awhile), so I won't even graduate probably until my mid twenties or so. I cannot imagine staying at home for that long, but for the sake of financial prudence, it's something I wouldn't mind sacrificing. I mean, both my parents make excellent money, but they're nearing 60. The thought of continuing to spend their money when they should be saving it for themselves makes me feel like such a spoiled punk. As much as I'd like to rake in a lot of work hours so I could at least help out, it would take too much time out of studying from an already very demanding and time-consuming major.

[shmoov_groovzsd]

Sambazon,

At least you have the conscience to take your parents into consideration like that

However, it would be a complete disservice to yourself and their offering if you were going to UCSD to party hard and then cry poverty. It sounds like you are pretty focused on school and are a pretty good kid. Thus I wouldnt discount the value you be adding in using their money to provide for your experience. Its a matter of view, thats all. I dont think anyone would bash you or think any less of you if all your doing is the right thing and they are being GOOD parents and just trying to help. Spoiled is certainly the last word I would use. Fortunate is more like it.

I dont think there is any concerned parent in the world that wouldnt want to do that for their kids if they had the opportunity and were in a position like yours.

[oddstray]

In addition to what shmoov said, you're investing in a well-paying career. You'll very likely be able to help your parents out financially if they need it, once you're established.

[tonyinsd]

Yes, part of the college life is actually living with people who are not your family members. That will be something you may very well have to do once you graduate so get used to it now.

I would not want to make that long drive, especially if your family has the resources to allow you to skip it.

[Clark Fork Fantast]

Best of both worlds: Move closer to UCSD--it's another world entirely. It'll feel as if you've moved across the state. But then you can go home for Sunday dinners, and maybe even bring your laundry! Just be sure to share some clean, fun campus stories with your folks, or upbeat stories about how you're relating to the profs, solved some problems, and made friends. They'll be footing the bill, and the best way to make them feel that you're not taking it, and them, for granted is to bring them into a little corner of your new life. You have no idea how much they'll appreciate it...

[LaVieQ]

Yaknow, my school years were spent on campus, although I didn't have money to splurge, and, like you, felt a bit unsure about my parents having to shell out for it all. While I didn't exactly starve my way through school, I didn't splurge either - didn't have a car (for instance) until I was almost out of school. Despite all that, the experience was really worth it. For instance, socializing with others continues to pay off. What you get from the interactions, friendships, and different points of view from your peer group is worth as much, if not more, than what you get in the class room. It really stretched and broadened my mind and gave me so many more choices. All that doesn't come without spending time doing things with others. And some of these friendships have lasted and endured.

So go for it. As others have pointed out, you'll make up the amount as an Engineer and, if it comes to that, will be able to pay back your parents.

[Sambazon]

Originally Posted by Clark Fork Fantast

Best of both worlds: Move closer to UCSD--it's another world entirely. It'll feel as if you've moved across the state. But then you can go home for Sunday dinners, and maybe even bring your laundry! Just be sure to share some clean, fun campus stories with your folks, or upbeat stories about how you're relating to the profs, solved some problems, and made friends. They'll be footing the bill, and the best way to make them feel that you're not taking it, and them, for granted is to bring them into a little corner of your new life. You have no idea how much they'll appreciate it...

This is excellent advice that I intend to follow for sure . I'm already extremely close to my family as it is. My only problem, though somewhat trivial, is that my mom is slightly skeptical. I've addressed my yearning to expand my social circle and that transferring and moving out would help; however, she completely took that the wrong way and shot me down, immediately assuming that my priorities are skewed. I think she just assumes that I want to move out solely to party hardy all day errday. I'm not even sure where I'm getting at anymore... but I just think it's funny, considering UCSD is notoriously renowned for being a socially dead campus saturated with nerds, and partying all the time isn't even my style (I'm more of a homebody than anything else). Alas, being the youngest daughter in a Filipino family does come with the territory lol.

Originally Posted by LaVieQ

Yaknow, my school years were spent on campus, although I didn't have money to splurge, and, like you, felt a bit unsure about my parents having to shell out for it all. While I didn't exactly starve my way through school, I didn't splurge either - didn't have a car (for instance) until I was almost out of school. Despite all that, the experience was really worth it. For instance, socializing with others continues to pay off. What you get from the interactions, friendships, and different points of view from your peer group is worth as much, if not more, than what you get in the class room. It really stretched and broadened my mind and gave me so many more choices. All that doesn't come without spending time doing things with others. And some of these friendships have lasted and endured.

Yup, that is exactly what I want: to be able to branch out and befriend people who are fun to be around and inspire me. Being that I'm still in community college, it's a little harder to find people who are equally ambitious and take their future seriously... I feel like I will be in my niche over at UCSD, where the camaraderie will be unmatched compared to where I am now. I'm still with my usual group of friends from high school, but we've grown apart as interests have shifted over the years. It's frustrating with how stagnant my social life seems, but then it means less distractions and more time focusing on what's truly important.