Why Are People In The Bay Area So Soft? (San Diego: living in, restaurant)

[jman650]

Originally Posted by clongirl

It wouldn't matter to her though..in her MIND it only rains in the Bay Area,

Lol andy is even worse. In his mind it only hails with lightning in the middle of dense fog here when the City isn't burning down. Because in Texas it was only rainbows and ponies.

Of course how could we expect them not to complain about a city/region that's only made up of the granola/compost crowd that is 90% white and 10% Chinese accounting for 65% of the population, and the rest being gay homeless druggies and "thugs walking Haight Street with unleashed pit bulls?" (I wonder what fraction of their math includes all the have-nots they claim overrun this place? B/c of course there is NO middle class and no normal people who don't fit the stereotypes. )

I mean we need to consider how there is not a single store, restaurant, hospital, gas station or any kind of entertainment in town that stays open past sundown and our streets at best look like a deserted ghost town, and that's only in the most lively parts. Its not their fault they're forced to keep telling us this; according to them its a forum for transplants to vent! Lol. B/c this site is called "bash your new home and whine to the natives.com." Heaven forbid that any natives who have lived here for decades differ from their opinions or take issue with their twisted versions of reality.

All I know is that if I relocate and find myself displeased, the LAST thing you'll see me doing is frequenting forums where people want to discuss all things relevant to that area and beating them over the head with excessive lies and complaints. I'd either find a way to make the best of it, or simply leave. And I'd do everything in my power to achieve one of those goals. Trolling forums wouldn't make my life any better, so I don't understand their thought process.

[mrsmom1]

Hah! I moved away from the Bay Area b/c it felt too stressed/dog-eat-dog/everyone-trying-to-get ahead! Too funny to hear it is 'soft'. I like a more relaxed feel in my day-to-day life.

Of course, NY-ers are a completely different breed. I lived in South FL for a year (at least 1/2 of the people there are 'snowbirds' from NY) and I hated it! The NY-ers were the ones whining/loudly complaining in the checkout line at the supermarket if someone ahead of them took an extra 2 seconds to find some change! I'll take 'soft' any day over rude & obnoxious!

But they are a special mix of angst & passion, those NY-ers. Gotta love 'em, just wouldn't want to live w/ them.

[Archan]

Originally Posted by mrsmom1

The NY-ers were the ones whining/loudly complaining in the checkout line at the supermarket if someone ahead of them took an extra 2 seconds to find some change! I'll take 'soft' any day over rude & obnoxious!

I just posted a similar comment on the Atlanta board about New Yorkers! Love it!

[KRISTINsf]

Well ok, Cali people have a tendency to be more 'laid back' than other people. They are also more mellow and not at all animated in conversation like New Yorkers(think hand gestures). I think Cali people are a lot more reserved and less "in your face'' than New Yorkers.

[Mach50]

Originally Posted by mrsmom1

The NY-ers were the ones whining/loudly complaining in the checkout line at the supermarket if someone ahead of them took an extra 2 seconds to find some change! I'll take 'soft' any day over rude & obnoxious!

Haha now that is exactly how I would describe a NY'er. When I had just moved to Manhattan I went down to the corner to buy a NYTimes Sunday edition and a coffee. I had a five in my hand and the cashier said it would be 5.25....reached in my pocket to get a quarter, and the guy behind me let out this big sigh and snarled at me lol...Of course I laughed and walked out.

I have known many people that move to NYC thinking they will not become rude and obnoxious but...after a while they realize it is easier to just join in. The biggest one that really pisses me off is cutting in line! There is this thing in NYC where people stand to the side of the line, then as the doors open(club, venue, bus, taxi), they all rush in and take a spot in front of you and it becomes a war...for no real reason.

Of course it leads to some interesting times though. Not sure which one I like better honestly; super laid back, solitary, introverts or aggressive, in your face, extroverts. I am kind of in between, myself.

[KRISTINsf]

It seems that Cali people are more pedestrian friendly such that when waiting to cross the street, if a car is stuck in the intersection thus 'blocking the box' and obstructs pedestrians, they, breaking character, will bang their fists and hands on his/her car.

That's one thing my native New Yorker father told me not to do in New York under any circumstances. He said the people in New York are a lot crazier than in San Francisco.

[Lifeshadower]

Originally Posted by Mach50

Haha now that is exactly how I would describe a NY'er. When I had just moved to Manhattan I went down to the corner to buy a NYTimes Sunday edition and a coffee. I had a five in my hand and the cashier said it would be 5.25....reached in my pocket to get a quarter, and the guy behind me let out this big sigh and snarled at me lol...Of course I laughed and walked out.

I have known many people that move to NYC thinking they will not become rude and obnoxious but...after a while they realize it is easier to just join in. The biggest one that really pisses me off is cutting in line! There is this thing in NYC where people stand to the side of the line, then as the doors open(club, venue, bus, taxi), they all rush in and take a spot in front of you and it becomes a war...for no real reason.

Of course it leads to some interesting times though. Not sure which one I like better honestly; super laid back, solitary, introverts or aggressive, in your face, extroverts. I am kind of in between, myself.

Sounds like my experiences when I lived in NYC, but since I was 14 years old, the combination of testosterone and the confrontational attitude of many New Yorkers got me in a lot of trouble. I got into way too many shouting matches and fights in NYC.

So you're right; if you can't beat them, join em and them beat them

Now, the Bay Area. For the most part, people here are pretty nice in a really fake way. Still, that's preferable than outright hostility to complete strangers. However, I think its foolish to conflate 'being nice' with 'laid back' because the Bay has to be amongst the hardest working/overworked region of the country.

In the end though, I think its better to judge people on an individual by individual basis than pigeonholing people. Yeah..all 7.3 million people here are soft. All 21 million people in the NY Metro area are jerks. I don't believe that for a second.

[Mach50]

Originally Posted by Lifeshadower

In the end though, I think its better to judge people on an individual by individual basis than pigeonholing people. Yeah..all 7.3 million people here are soft. All 21 million people in the NY Metro area are jerks. I don't believe that for a second.

This is the internet though and we only speak in general stereotypes.

[Archan]

Originally Posted by Lifeshadower

Now, the Bay Area. For the most part, people here are pretty nice in a really fake way.

I do agree with your post. When a person that I just met, shakes my hand and says "how are you?", I don't view this as being fake. It is just being courteous in a civilized society. I know that they probably don't really care about how I'm doing. I find it nice none the less.

[Donald342]

Originally Posted by BayAreaHillbilly

This is a valuable perspective. I grew up here so it's highly valuable to me.

A couple comments.

Firstly, I'd say the PC atmosphere was not always so overwhelming. It definitely got worse after ~ 1980. I attribute it to two things, first, the Boomers who came here for the hippie / rebel thing achieved power and control as they morphed into the Yuppies. Second, the type of transplants we got sort of shifted around the same time (more ones with soft skills, fewer engineers and finance geeks).

Secondly, I find this personally fascinating. I had very little experience with the East Coast until I finished school and started to do lots of business there. It's interesting to me how we here on the Left Coast have increasingly seemed to be a newer version of the NE "liberal" states. But there are differences. I find like you that people here are less witty, more sensitive to criticism, and generally, very dull in terms of dealing with sarcasm and "mean" joshing. The liberality of the East Coast is a liberality based on things like labor rights, anger with political corruption, and, old fashioned concern with the poor. Here it seems to take on more of a "New Age" spiritual and dare I say, even millenarian, cast. I use the word millenarian because some of the radicalism here is based on beliefs of environmental doom or belief that the Western nations are some sorts of fascist empires. That is very, very radical and dangerous stuff.

In NYC on the other hand, if you spout that sort of stuff people regard you as being a complete kook. NYCers are still good Americans, IMHO, no matter how "liberal" they may be politically. That's a key difference.

I have a theory as to why this difference exists. A goodly percentage of the people here are relos from NYC and other large Eastern metros. If you think about it, what sorts of people might want to relo here? Ones who are outcasts or misfits in those Eastern places would be among them - not all of them, but a goodly percentage. So, we've grown into a metro that includes a significant fraction of people who were outcasts and misfits in large Eastern urban areas. No offense to anyone, but to be a misfit in those sorts of liberal places, one would have to be fairly odd. There you have it.

What a fascinating topic!

Very interesting observations.

First I'd like to say that your right about differences in "liberality" (new word haha) between east coast and west coast. Liberals from the east coast, are more rational, more pragmatic and less obsessed with radical environtalism or preachyness. More live and let live.

Also our liberalism is often misinterpreted. As the recent Massachusetts elections demonstrate. We have a strong independant streak and don't blindly or idealogically vote along party lines. Though we have long held egalitarian ideals (concern for the poor etc), east coasters have a strong sense of patriotism, a strong sense of being "American" while the liberals on the west coast (mainly California) seem to have some sort of thinly veiled contempt for America. Its very different.

So a good percentage of Bay Area-ites from from the NE? Did'nt know that before. Thats interesting.

Very true observations though overall and I agree its been a topic thats fascinated me this whole time.