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The way I see it, complaining ani't all bad. IMO, it's a good thing if you can turn it on and off at will. I think it's only a problem if it's an unconscious, automatic habit. Perhaps you could set aside a predetermined time and complain up a storm. Exaggerate your complaints. Make things much worse than they really are. Soon you'll probably be laughing instead. It works like a charm for me.
At 37 I underwent 6 months of aggressive chemotherapy that was absolutely horrible on my body. I am one of the unlucky 2% whose nerve endings are burnt to a crisp from the chemotherapy drugs. I now have severe peripheral neuropathy in my hands, legs and feet and suffer from 24/7 excruciating nerve pain. I am doped up on large dosages of pain killers for the rest of my life. There is no cure and no other way of handling the chronic pain.
They saved my life but look at the cost.
Should my cancer return, I will not be treating. I am not suicidal and I do care about my life and my loved ones. But I cannot allow them to inject those drugs into my body again, knowing that I will have even more nerve damage. I would be on so much pain medication that I would no longer be able to function as a human being.There would be no quality of life left for me. Quality of life is so important.
If I could give you one very important piece of advice, it is to remember that during your mother's treatment and after, you and your mother MUST be her own best advocate and never stop asking questions! Oncologists are saving lives and they have the best of intentions, but they have their own agendas as well. It would be a mistake to have blind faith in them.
My prayers go out to both you and your mother and I'm truly sorry that your lives have been affected by this terrible disease. I say the same to all of those in this thread who have been touched by it.
As for your mother's complaining, that means she still has a strong will and will be able to fight her disease. I know you find it taxing, but please see it as a good sign. It is.
Location: When things get hot they expand. Im not fat. Im hot.
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Originally Posted by blue62
Cecilia, I am very glad that you can come on here and get out all your anger..I don't think any of us will put you down for that..I see you as a daughter who has become the adult in this situation and I can understand. You are wearing yourself out because you are the only one..I pray that your mom, despite her terrible illness and prognosis, will be able to look you in the eye and say "Thank you, I love you"..I really think you should see your Dr, about all the stress you are carrying around with you..Your own health could be suffering..Take care and cyber hugs to you...
Im fine. I dont get stress Im a carrier. Sorry. I guess maybe I do sound angry. Im not. Ill try to use more smilies. Sometimes I forget this is the web and not RL where peeps can see me. Im just frustrated and a little peevish , but Im getting over it. I think that comes from expecting her to become all warm and fuzzy cause shes sick. I need to suck it up. Thats just not who she is. Oh. And Thank You is not gonna happen.
I guess whats getting to me is that this is probably the calm before the storm. I see things getting a lot worse for her. I want to shake her and say "why arent you enjoying what time you have left" cause thats what I would be doing. Again I just have to accept thats just not who she is. Shes not gonna turn into a "nice old lady" just cause shes sick.
Hey. Who am I to say. Maybe she is enjoying herself. She has a captive audience and everybodies waiting on her. So Ive decided to let her have her fun up to a point. Ive talked to all the aides and told them to come to me and I will talk to her if they need me to. Ive also written up nice notes to their boss. I also bring treats for her to share with her aides.
Since shes been doing her rehab exercises she looking much better. Not worse. Theres been no side effects from her first chemo. I know its coming but right now she looks pretty darn good.
Last edited by Cecilia_Rose; 02-11-2008 at 03:47 PM..
Location: When things get hot they expand. Im not fat. Im hot.
2,513 posts, read 6,324,518 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewAgeRedneck
Cecilia
The way I see it, complaining ani't all bad. IMO, it's a good thing if you can turn it on and off at will. I think it's only a problem if it's an unconscious, automatic habit. Perhaps you could set aside a predetermined time and complain up a storm. Exaggerate your complaints. Make things much worse than they really are. Soon you'll probably be laughing instead. It works like a charm for me.
I think you have something there. Thats it. Shes exceeded her time limit. Next time I go in there Im tellin her.
Cecilia-first I'm so sorry. I know exactly what you are going through. My Mom passed away this past Nov. from lung cancer with brain, liver, and bone mets at 52.
I agree with a lot of posters on here. I wouldn't have her do the chemo, but it is her choice. It's really all about what she wants to do. At her age, the chemo will only prolong her suffering IMO. I work for a cancer practice and I see cancer patients on a daily basis, it's not pretty. Chemo is very, very, very hard on your body, even if you are in the perfect health. It not only kills the cancer "bad" cells it also kills the healthy "good" cells. I would try and support whatever decision she makes, even if you don't agree with it.
Watching my Mom go through what she did, I wouldn't ever want to see or go through that again. My Mom was diagnosed and passed 7 months later. There were a lot of other issues going on, but I'm sure if she would have known what she was about to embark on, she would have chosen to forgo the treatment and enjoyed the rest of the life she had left.
Also, I know you don't want to think about this right now, but try and make sure she has all her affairs (will) in order. My Mom didn't have a will and now I'm the administrator of her estate and that in itself is so stressful.
Just remember you will get through it and you have tons of support here and with your family and friends. If you have any questions for me, don't hesitate to ask.
Cecilia, I am so sorry for you and your family. My thoughts are with you.
I have been wanting to ask about my father here for a few months since he was diagnosed with lung cancer. At first, the surgeon told him it was operable and they would remove it and a dose of chemo later he would be fine. Well, they opened him up and found it spread through the whole lung, and closed him back up. Then, they gave him the horrid chemo that makes you sick, lose weight and hair, and just want to crawl in a hole for two months. That did nothing at all.
Now, he is on a pill form of chemo (starts with a t) once a day and he has radiation every day. It has been two and a half weeks and apparently it has shrunk the tumor tremendously. My father goes in to work half a day everyday during this (his choice) and he said he is breathing better than he has in years!
We are keeping our fingers crossed right now, we know he'll never be cured but hopefully it can be managed. Make sure your mom gets many opinions from doctors. My father lives in small town upstate NY but he has gone to Sloan Kettering in NYC for consultations. I'm just so happy we finally found the right way to fight his cancer.
Location: When things get hot they expand. Im not fat. Im hot.
2,513 posts, read 6,324,518 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dlh891
Cecilia, I am so sorry for you and your family. My thoughts are with you.
I have been wanting to ask about my father here for a few months since he was diagnosed with lung cancer. At first, the surgeon told him it was operable and they would remove it and a dose of chemo later he would be fine. Well, they opened him up and found it spread through the whole lung, and closed him back up. Then, they gave him the horrid chemo that makes you sick, lose weight and hair, and just want to crawl in a hole for two months. That did nothing at all.
Now, he is on a pill form of chemo (starts with a t) once a day and he has radiation every day. It has been two and a half weeks and apparently it has shrunk the tumor tremendously. My father goes in to work half a day everyday during this (his choice) and he said he is breathing better than he has in years!
We are keeping our fingers crossed right now, we know he'll never be cured but hopefully it can be managed. Make sure your mom gets many opinions from doctors. My father lives in small town upstate NY but he has gone to Sloan Kettering in NYC for consultations. I'm just so happy we finally found the right way to fight his cancer.
I hope all the best for your family.
Dawn
How is your Dad doing. Better I hope. So far Mom hasnt had any bad side effects from her chemo. Just really tired after a treatment. But that could just be because any activity tires her out .
Cecilia,
I am glad your Mom isn't having any bad side effects from the chemo. When are they going to run tests to see if it is working? How are you doing with it all?
Hugs
Katz
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Sorry. I guess maybe I do sound angry. Im not. Ill try to use more smilies. Sometimes I forget this is the web and not RL where peeps can see me. Im just frustrated and a little peevish , but Im getting over it. I think that comes from expecting her to become all warm and fuzzy cause shes sick. I need to suck it up. 
