Yes, she's doing things she's always wanted to do & doesn't have to answer to anyone.
I was very lucky to have such a caring dad but when I lost him, the glue of our family fell apart. Now I'm pretty much alone.
I always say that we can pick our friends but we can;t pick our family. You can look at it as though she's lucky that you are still there and caring for her even after what she's put/putting you through. Your time will come and all of this will make you a better/stronger person.
lol, hopefully the lady next to her won't have a time where she's with it and knows what's going on.
You can only do so much. The people taking care of her chose this field and I doubt she is the 1st one like this. They're probably used to it. Just remember to give them thank you cards every now & then so that they remember you appreciate all that they do. You might also think to go to the supermarket & buy them a bouquet. Walmart has cute inexpensive vases
Let us know how you make out.
I knw what you mean. There were days during dad's illness where I needed to hear someone else's problems just to get away from my own. While I would love to vent, right now I can't due to a court case. Since I've posted this before the attorneys got involved, it doesn;t matter if I post it here.
I think saying that at one time, when we found out dad's cancer returned, I was going to be tested as a stem cell donor. This was one of the only dr appointment my mother went to. I took her shopping while they tested his blood / gave him a transfusion. Something didn't feel right to me so I said to her, "They will be able to use me as a donor as long as I'm his kid" she replied, I don't know.
I repeated it again, maybe like 3 times, same answer. I didn't understand but was very bothered by it. The next time dad & I were alone we talked and he told me that he knew about it or something to that effect. He said it would never change his feelings towards me & my kids that I was his daughter no matter what.
They tested me, I voiced my concerns, they said that yes, genetically I was a match but they wouldn't use me due to my sugar being over 400 plus my pain meds for my back problem. Of course this story got twisted too. Anyway, my dad loved me a lot & in the end it showed, must have been hard for them to swallow. We decided to get a DNA test. Thanks to Maury, it took almost a month to get them to come out to take the DNA since he wasn't well enough to be driven to a site. I finally got an appointment for a Tuesday. Dad started going downhill on a Friday. By Saturday hospice was called & we found out his body was shutting down.
Monday morning I once again (called Sat & Sun) called the DNA Diagnostics place begging him to send someone out. I'd gone to my pain management appointment in the morning and by the afternoon, knew DNA Diagnostics was coming out at 7:30 that night. I told dad, one of the last things he said to me was "that's great". It still makes me cry just thinking about it... he started slipping away after that as he knew he could. A little while later he couldn't speak, tried to tell me he loved me. I had him blink to see if he was in pain / ask questions.
7:30 came. Dad was with it enough to know the lady was there. His mouth was so dry & he was so weak. He let me swab his cheek with a wet lollypop sponge like thing, they then did the swab. My dad started slipping away quickly after that. He was at peace knowing he'd given his DNA to prove without a doubt I was his daughter and passed at 10pm, 2 hours after the lady left.
The next morning I was pretty upset, my nose started bleeding. I never get nose bleeds & don't think I've ever had one in my life. That day I had a total of 3 & I swear it was my dad telling me he knew the results and was with me. Even my mother said it.
I've never shared the results with any of them. My younger sister at one time emailed my son (who was like my dad's son) and told him about it with some nasty dialog. My son did not know about this, shame on her for even saying it to him.
Haven't really spoken to my mother since the viewing arrangements. She's never shared her affair with the Russian builder she cheated on my dad with and the few times I did see her, she tried to make me feel bad, never once apologized for doing this to me. Can you imagine if the builder ever knocked on my door saying he was my father?
The fricked up thing is.. my mother acts like it was her in question about whther I was her kid even though she gave birth to me.
After dad died someone sent me a sympathy card saying sorry your step father died or something to that effect. It was really heartless.
I had back surgery a few months after he died. Even though my mother lived 7 blocks she never once stopped or called to see how I was doing. Nice huh? Instead she used that time to put the house up for sale behind my back then would not accept our offer to buy it
There were days I begged her, crying my eyes out, always making me feel like I did something wrong and throwing things back on me.
There's a lot more but that's the most I can say so see, things could be worst. It could be the one person you love the most dying of cancer and you have this cr@p to deal with on top of it. One thing that still gets me through it is I know my dad is still here with me. He's not ready to leave until this is done. I will do what I have to to make sure his wishes are carried out.
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Im handling it better since I quit trying to fix everything. I listen and if its important Im on it. Otherwise I ignore it. Its my nature to fix things. I have always been the one who fixed things and took care of things ever since I can remember. 
