Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Oh I agree - it's hilarious! What if she had stolen panties from Dillards? LOL I would have died laughing over that!
Yes, stealing is new and so is her apparent complete lack of guilt over it. Wow!
I just ,,,,,, IDK what to say. I mean the meds are supposed to take away mania. One would think stealing would come from that but who even knows?
My Mom would never steal a penny, but as she got older she did funny things. She had always opened food int he store but still paid at the register. One of my best memories the last year in her life was her grabbing some ice cream and gobbling it (good for her!) but she forgot we need to pay. I said I need that ice cream for a second for the clerk to ring it up. 'Oh, well, she will have to get another one to scan. I threw the wrapper away'. My Mom was always TOO concerned with other people over herself. I liked it that she was all 'well, find another way to take care of that. I took care of me'.
After reading that story, I can see why this thread is entitled Adventures with Mom. Best laugh I've had today, Kathryn. Kudos to you girl for having, what I would deem, the patience of a saint. Visualizing (from my own experience) the whole visit to the bank scenario. Not sure if that or the trip to Dillard's is funnier but either sure would make a great Carol Burnett Show skit. Keep up the good work.
My step-grandmother would steal. She was terrible. Any time at a restaurant with linens, she would steal the napkin. And sweet and low or sugar packets: whole container in her purse. She stole salt and pepper shakers. She had a 20+ foot tablecloth, I assume she took it from some event she was at. Petty theft.
I just ,,,,,, IDK what to say. I mean the meds are supposed to take away mania. One would think stealing would come from that but who even knows?
My Mom would never steal a penny, but as she got older she did funny things. She had always opened food int he store but still paid at the register. One of my best memories the last year in her life was her grabbing some ice cream and gobbling it (good for her!) but she forgot we need to pay. I said I need that ice cream for a second for the clerk to ring it up. 'Oh, well, she will have to get another one to scan. I threw the wrapper away'. My Mom was always TOO concerned with other people over herself. I liked it that she was all 'well, find another way to take care of that. I took care of me'.
That's how it comes across to me. My mom has never had any patience or willingness to comply with any sort of system. So now I think she somehow imagines that the whole world - where you pay for stuff - is nothing more than a big, bureaucratic system trying to impede her as she wanders through the aisles of life.
OK, so the other day I went over to her apartment after church and it was very dark and gloomy in there. I said, "Wow, let's turn on some lamps." I went over, switched them off and on - no light. I said, "Wow, are they both burned out?" I looked inside the lamps - NO LIGHT BULBS.
So I said, "Mom - why did you take the light bulbs out of your lamps?" She gave me this wide eyed innocent look and said, "I didn't take any light bulbs out of any lamps." I said, "Mom. Yes, you did. Who else would have done this?" She said in a huff, "Well, honestly, I have no idea but I certainly didn't do it."
She unplugs everything. NOTHING is plugged in in that apartment. She actually went to the front desk and told them the other day that she couldn't get her CD player to work. When they went in to look at it, it was unplugged.
Anyway, so today is about the 3rd day that her phone hasn't been working. We had some storms recently so the other day I thought maybe that was it. But today I still couldn't get a call through so when I went over there, I checked to see if everything was plugged in. It seems to be. But no dial tone. So I called this evening and the phone company did a check from their end and said, "Everything is powered up - but do you know if she has unplugged anything lately?"
UNPLUGGED ANYTHING LATELY? Well, as a matter of fact, I would say the odds are extremely high that she has unplugged things lately!
So anyway, they want me to go over there and unplug and plug everything back in and then hit the reset button on the back of something or other. Which I can't do till Sunday. So she will be without a phone till then. Which apparently doesn't bother her because when I asked her if she knew her phone wasn't working she said, "It's not? My goodness. I had no idea."
That's how it comes across to me. My mom has never had any patience or willingness to comply with any sort of system. So now I think she somehow imagines that the whole world - where you pay for stuff - is nothing more than a big, bureaucratic system trying to impede her as she wanders through the aisles of life.
OK, so the other day I went over to her apartment after church and it was very dark and gloomy in there. I said, "Wow, let's turn on some lamps." I went over, switched them off and on - no light. I said, "Wow, are they both burned out?" I looked inside the lamps - NO LIGHT BULBS.
So I said, "Mom - why did you take the light bulbs out of your lamps?" She gave me this wide eyed innocent look and said, "I didn't take any light bulbs out of any lamps." I said, "Mom. Yes, you did. Who else would have done this?" She said in a huff, "Well, honestly, I have no idea but I certainly didn't do it."
She unplugs everything. NOTHING is plugged in in that apartment. She actually went to the front desk and told them the other day that she couldn't get her CD player to work. When they went in to look at it, it was unplugged.
Anyway, so today is about the 3rd day that her phone hasn't been working. We had some storms recently so the other day I thought maybe that was it. But today I still couldn't get a call through so when I went over there, I checked to see if everything was plugged in. It seems to be. But no dial tone. So I called this evening and the phone company did a check from their end and said, "Everything is powered up - but do you know if she has unplugged anything lately?"
UNPLUGGED ANYTHING LATELY? Well, as a matter of fact, I would say the odds are extremely high that she has unplugged things lately!
So anyway, they want me to go over there and unplug and plug everything back in and then hit the reset button on the back of something or other. Which I can't do till Sunday. So she will be without a phone till then. Which apparently doesn't bother her because when I asked her if she knew her phone wasn't working she said, "It's not? My goodness. I had no idea."
Hmmmm...
I wonder if the missing light bulbs are connected with the unplugging? Hubby used to turn off power strips, so when the lights did not go on he would take out the bulbs because he assumed that they had burned out. Maybe your mom is doing the same thing (the lamp does not go on because it is unplugged so mom takes out the bulb but forgets before she finds and puts in a new bulb).
LOL again. I hope you know that when I say I'm laughing at all this, it's in part because they truly are funny stories yet, at the the same time, a little sad. My parents have been gone since 2008 but I still laugh when I think how my dad called me in a panic because he couldn't find his dentures. I drove over there and hunted for hours until I finally found them in the refrigerator. Thanks Mom. So many stories like that one so I can't help but laugh (with love) at these adventures with your own mother. {{hugs}}
I decided to write out the events of the day from what I think my mother's perspective is:
Today Kathryn showed up out of the blue at my door. While it's nice to go places, I do wish she would let me know beforehand that she's coming. It's very unsettling to just open the door and here her say "Come on, Mom - grab your purse and let's go. We've got lots to do!" I can't imagine what she's talking about, but I try to appease Miss Bossy Pants by being flexible. I do wonder sometimes if she's all that organized though.
First we went to lunch. We went to a place we seldom go to - Cheddars. We go so infrequently that I can't recall a single thing on the menu! And I told Kathryn that someone has stolen my glasses out of my apartment so I can't even read the menu, which is unsettling. I hate to ask her to read the menu to me because for some reason she gets irritated with that. She's so easily irritated - I just try to appease her by being easygoing. Anyway, when we got there, I realized that I do remember ONE THING on the menu, by the grace of God - I mean, everyone has a crispy chicken salad, right? So I just ordered that in an attempt to keep from bothering Kathryn any more than is absolutely necessary. And I can only hope and pray that the chicken is hormone and antibiotic free, but I seriously doubt that's the case so I'll probably grow another two inches and develop psoriasis before I die, due to all the chicken I eat. And Kathryn would STILL be saying I am imagining things. I'm starting to itch just thinking about what all is in this chicken.
After we ate, we just sat around and sat around. For someone who says that we have a lot to do, Kathryn sure does take her time about some things. She's always fumbling around in her purse getting out those mysterious plastic cards that she swears have money in them somehow. She must have a thousand of them - I don't know how she keeps things straight. And for some reason, sometimes she has to use two of them instead of one when I'm with her - as if she barely has any money hidden inside one of them or something. I honestly think she's just slow as molasses about anything to do with money or cash registers or paying for ANYTHING. Sigh. I can see her being very gullible one day when it comes to the Mark of the Beast, because she seems very confused by all those plastic cards.
So then - oh joy oh joy - we had to go to the BANK. Good grief, she knows I hate to go to the stupid bank. It is THE MOST BORING PLACE in the entire universe. There is absolutely nothing to do in there, except listen to Kathryn and that pretty bank manager person talk and talk and talk and talk and talk...and then I have to sign papers, and for all I know I'm signing to join the French Foreign Legion or for someone to come take all my furniture out of my room and leave me with nothing but a little wad of paper towels over in a corner. I mean, sure, I understand what Kathryn and the bank lady are SAYING we're doing but they both know I can't read without my glasses that someone has stolen, so I just have to pray to the Lord Jesus Christ that they are telling me the truth about what I'm signing. Sure - what they SAY makes sense but people will say anything. But I just have to put my trust in God and in Kathryn and I have faith that God will take care of me no matter who conspires against me, because I am His Special One. Yes, I know He loves everyone but He REALLY loves me - and some people have some very unpleasant surprises in their future when they meet their Maker and that's all I'm going to say about that. And I'm including the Federal Reserve in that. And bankers. Even that pretty bank manager better watch her step. She's working for an evil organization and that's the truth even if she doesn't know it.
Anyway, after we FINALLY left the bank, we got in Kathryn's car and it was so hot I thought I was going to just die right there. Actually, I noticed the heat as soon as we stepped out of the bank - it was like the sun was burning right through my turtleneck, my scarf, and my wool sweater. Who would think it would be so hot in July in Texas? It's very unusual. And Kathryn - slow again in all things pertaining to MY comfort - actually snapped at me when I reminded her to TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONER FOR PETE'S SAKE. She said in that bossy way she has, "Mom. It takes a minute to get cool." Well, personally I think there's something seriously wrong with her air conditioner even if her car is new. I mean, even after I figured out how to open up the very complicated vents, it took till we were out of the parking lot to really get cool. That is far too long to be hot. But what can you expect from a huge conglomeration such as Ford? Ford doesn't care about the little people. Ford just wants to take our money and run.
I can see this is dragging on. I'll make it short. Kathryn and I went to Dillards and I bought some jewelry, some belts, a bunch of panties (and boy was Kathryn ever bossy about THAT - she even told me that a pair of panties I liked were BIKINI panties as if I can't tell the difference!), some makeup (and Miss Bossy Pants even tried to boss me about that, telling me that I should try some blush when she ought to know that my lipstick works absolutely perfectly as rouge), and then my favorite - shoes.
There was a huge shoe sale and my goodness, there were people everywhere. I really wish that so many people wouldn't just fall into line with what is pushed on them by advertising. You should have seen all those women milling around those sale racks! Well, I'm not a fool. I told that girl who waited on us to just bring me some shoes on a display far away from the sale racks. They fit beautifully. And then Kathryn had to put a damper on things, as usual, by telling me that they were $135. So what? I don't care about that. Who cares what they cost - I've got the money. I'll buy whatever I want and Kathryn better just pay up. She says one of those plastic cards is "mine," but she won't give it to me, so I somehow think it's not REALLY mine. But she whipped it out and paid for my shoes...and then she had the AUDACITY to tell me to sit down with the bags while she tried on some shoes! You'd think she could have been doing that already - or come back without me so I wouldn't have to wait. Instead, here I was ready to go and there she was, talking and talking with that girl who brought the shoes out...and then digging around for ANOTHER plastic card...and when I said softly, "I'm tired, I want to go home," she sighed and she actually said to me, "Well, let me get these shoes first" as if she couldn't have asked the woman to just hold them for her and come back later. So I had to sit and wait for what seemed like forever.
Honestly, I appreciate that Kathryn takes me shopping but she has no idea how tiresome the whole ordeal can be sometimes. That girl could talk the hind legs off a billy goat. And she never takes advantage of a break in a line - no, she insists on standing there and clearly letting other people get ahead of us. And then she smiles and talks to people when she ought to know that I am patiently waiting for her to COME ON. And then she has the gall to tell ME to "come on" when we're walking through the store, even though sometimes I see things that interest me, like baby socks and men's cologne displays and those Hawaiian shirts that people wear on cruises. If she can talk to a banker, surely I can stop and look at a few things on the way out the door. And to top off her bossiness, she refused to "let" me buy something called Spanks! Honestly, they just looked like really well made panties. I couldn't imagine what she had against me buying them but sometimes I just have to let her have her way or she's impossible to live with.
Now I'm back at home and any minute that irritating girl who hands those terrible medications to me will be standing in front of me insisting that I put those poisons into my body. I don't know who she thinks she is, but she's in the grips of Big Pharma, I can tell you that much, and she's completely brainwashed by them. If she didn't irritate me so much I'd almost feel sorry for her, but it's MY body that's under siege, not hers.
I'm so tired, I may just let the pills fall out of my mouth. Who could blame me?
After reading that story, I can see why this thread is entitled Adventures with Mom. Best laugh I've had today, Kathryn. Kudos to you girl for having, what I would deem, the patience of a saint. Visualizing (from my own experience) the whole visit to the bank scenario. Not sure if that or the trip to Dillard's is funnier but either sure would make a great Carol Burnett Show skit. Keep up the good work.
The Christmas sweater part had me laughing too.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So many stories like that one so I can't help but laugh (with love) at these adventures with your own mother. {{hugs}} 