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Except novels aren't true - I need to write an autobiography or something!!!!! It's really a surreal journey I've been on the past three years.
Can't say I like it too much to be honest.
Does any caregiver greatly enjoy it? As I said, I LOVED being a parent, caregiving was completely different and I would never say my DH and I EVER loved it.
Does any caregiver greatly enjoy it? As I said, I LOVED being a parent, caregiving was completely different and I would never say my DH and I EVER loved it.
Does any caregiver greatly enjoy it? As I said, I LOVED being a parent, caregiving was completely different and I would never say my DH and I EVER loved it.
LOL I don't think any caregiver of an adult enjoys every minute of every day, though there are some poignant, touching moments.
Last edited by KathrynAragon; 07-19-2017 at 06:03 AM..
By the way, whoever left me the negative rep comment - that's against the Terms of Service and I'll be reporting it. Enjoy your day. You're clearly not a caregiver.
And it's very cowardly and passive aggressive to leave negative, but anonymous rep comments. If you have something to say to me, at least have the courage to sign your name. Thankfully, the mods can track rep comments even though the person leaving the comment doesn't sign their name.
Here's the comment - let's open it up for general discussion.
Quote:
wow. you are really full of yourself! what you have done is not unique in the least.
Every caregiving scenario is unique. Every story told on this forum from one caregiver to another is unique and has it's own layers of challenges. Some people have more challenges than others - for instance, Germaine has more on her plate than most of us could ever handle, and yet she handles her unique challenges with grace.
I'd say on a scale of 1-10, my own particular situation is about a 6 when it comes to challenges. Most of my challenges are actually on the legal/estate side of things - those are the situations that wear me down. For instance, I only spent about 3 hours actually WITH my mom yesterday - but I spent a total of 5 hours on the phone with various entities regarding the estate. And those were a very frustrating 5 hours, on the topic of insurance. I haven't even bored the forum to death with the ins and outs of those conversations. The bottom line is that my mom has a piece of property with several structures on it - which I cannot find an insurer for. This leaves her vulnerable. I don't like that. I'm still working on that. Then throw in 3 hours of face time with my mom and yeah, that makes for a pretty long, frustrating day. But I wasn't changing adult diapers or trying to give a screaming elderly woman a shower (been there done that but not this go round). So yeah - my current situation is better than others - today. That could change, oh, I don't know, within the hour.
But it's also a lot different from my life just a few years ago, before my husband and I were hit with the responsibilities involved in helping four...then three...then two...and then suddenly just one...elderly parent. (Note - the ONE surviving parent is absolutely the most high maintenance and if she follows in her own grandmother's footsteps she'll be high maintenance for the next twenty years!).
I don't pretend to have a terrible life. I actually have a comfortable life when it comes to material things. And I have a good husband. I have healthy, happy kids and grandkids. Heck, I have my own health and strength so I'm very, very grateful for those things. But I do have a lot of surprising developments in my life. And I'm willing to write them out, share them with others, get feedback, give feedback.
Nope, my situation is unique in some ways, but in many ways it's very common. I guess that's why my story resonates with some people. I know that the stories others share on this forum definitely resonate with me, and not a day goes by that I don't learn something from someone here.
Last edited by KathrynAragon; 07-19-2017 at 06:03 AM..
My parents stayed hot until the end too. I loved their condo because it was always so cool. My SIL hated it, she was always freezing there.
MY DH and are lucky in that we both like it cool, the main floor is 71 or 72 all the time and the bedrooms are 67 because we like it cold when we got to bed.
My inlaws kept their house so hot, it was so uncomfortable for everyone except them.
Why do the homes of elderly smell bad?
I KNOW the smell your talking about .. and it drives me bonkers at times trying to prevent it ..and I am old so I know and I fight the issue .. my big fear/worry is does the cat box smell when fols walk in the door .. so I am doing several things besides scooping in the area the box is ..
I honestly think we cant smell old stink is the truth of the matter .. and since closed up overheated houses are the norm for most of us elders we are so used it the old smell we don't notice it .. I notice it when I go to other friends houses tho and ugh I suggest we sit outside to visit when I do.. its bad tbh.. .. or some of us go overboard and our houses stink like a funeral home with to many flowers in it .. .. ummmm ugh but yeh ..
the only thing that seems to stop the smell is fresh homemade baked goods like bread and pies and cookies but even those don't help for long .. sooo.. I dunno ..
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
3,487 posts, read 3,337,447 times
Reputation: 9913
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faworki1947
I KNOW the smell your talking about .. and it drives me bonkers at times trying to prevent it ..and I am old so I know and I fight the issue .. my big fear/worry is does the cat box smell when fols walk in the door .. so I am doing several things besides scooping in the area the box is ..
I honestly think we cant smell old stink is the truth of the matter .. and since closed up overheated houses are the norm for most of us elders we are so used it the old smell we don't notice it .. I notice it when I go to other friends houses tho and ugh I suggest we sit outside to visit when I do.. its bad tbh.. .. or some of us go overboard and our houses stink like a funeral home with to many flowers in it .. .. ummmm ugh but yeh ..
the only thing that seems to stop the smell is fresh homemade baked goods like bread and pies and cookies but even those don't help for long .. sooo.. I dunno ..
I think it's a combination of things. Clothes in closets that are never used, house never aired out, beddding on beds that don't get changed because they aren't used. Smells tend to get trapped in fabric.
My MIL does wash and change guest room sheets but the comforter and shams are the same that have been there for years. Same with all the 'stuff' in those closets. Unused rooms don't get a through cleaning any longer, windows aren't opened to air the house out.
All these things contribute to that old house smell. She does surface dusting but there is no deep cleaning going on. She's just not capable physically. Sense of smell also leaves as they age. She didn't realize her garbage disposal reeked! Ugh. I cleaned it out for her.
Old carpeting and rugs also trap odors. So many things combined contribute to this phenomenon.
I think it's a combination of things. Clothes in closets that are never used, house never aired out, beddding on beds that don't get changed because they aren't used. Smells tend to get trapped in fabric.
My MIL does wash and change guest room sheets but the comforter and shams are the same that have been there for years. Same with all the 'stuff' in those closets. Unused rooms don't get a through cleaning any longer, windows aren't opened to air the house out.
All these things contribute to that old house smell. She does surface dusting but there is no deep cleaning going on. She's just not capable physically. Sense of smell also leaves as they age. She didn't realize her garbage disposal reeked! Ugh. I cleaned it out for her.
Old carpeting and rugs also trap odors. So many things combined contribute to this phenomenon.
I used to wonder as well. I think all these things here contribute.
My parents stayed hot until the end too. I loved their condo because it was always so cool. My SIL hated it, she was always freezing there.
MY DH and are lucky in that we both like it cool, the main floor is 71 or 72 all the time and the bedrooms are 67 because we like it cold when we got to bed.
My inlaws kept their house so hot, it was so uncomfortable for everyone except them.
Why do the homes of elderly smell bad?
I just remembered that my g'mas was not. She had a weekly housekeeper. Might have a lot to do with it. some don't realize that even just dust has bacteria that gains a smell. And surfaces that look clean also have collected bacteria that produces an odor. The housekeeper dusted and cleaned all surfaces. Swept, mopped, and vacuumed. G'ma was fastidious about her own laundry.
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