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I think the transplants that get the bad rep are those that constantly complain about what CLT doesnt have (beach, Publix and Popeyes for me).
This really is the crux of it. And of course, it's not true just of NC but anywhere people move and immediately begin complaining that it's not like where they came from? Approach a new place with an open mind, see the natives as rich resources of local history and culture instead of making fun of their accents of looking down your nose at them and the local ways (yes, people do this all the time), and you'll be accepted just fine. It's no different than the reputation all Americans have in many European countries of being disrespectful and condescending to the customs and people of the places they're visiting and complaining that there isn't a TGI Fridays (or whatever).
Those who display such attitudes will often (properly) be told "You are free to move back any time you want".
The folks that use that term are just plain old ignorant. Just because I don't have a southern drawl......I'm a Yankee....Yankee's live up North if you didn't know.
I have never lived North of the Mason-Dixon Line, there for I am no Yankee.
I have been called many things in my life and Yankee is not one I respond to well. My question is if so many people in Flordia are either from the North East of the US, (or South Am. in South Fl.) if you are from Flordia, are you a Yankee???
In all honesty, we have been slower to open up and get to know our new neighbors this time around. But, it has nothing to do with where they are from. I'm just afraid I can't weed out the crazies and drama queens that seem to live on every street in every state. Everytime we move, it seems there are the same mix of people: drama queen, noisey neighbor, super helpful, free range kids, over protective parents, too nosey, very quiet (which is who I want to know), snobby, anti-snobby, "expert" on everything, etc. We are just being very careful this time around!
Really??!! He actually said that to you?? Personally, I would have gotten up out of the chair & very politely said, "Thanks, but no thanks. I don't think you'l be my dentist." The next thing I would have done is report him to whatever ethics board dentist belong to. That was extremely unprofessional of him to say. I wouldn't feel comfortable sitting in his chair...I'd be in fear that he would go all "marathon man" on me with his drill after a remark like that!!!
Agree . . . that was inappropriate on sooo many levels. Dentists are typically trying to build their businesses. Must be nice to have so many patients that you can insult new clients without fear of repercussions, lol.
Love your reference to Marathon Man, lol - a classic lesson in torture!
^ And FYI for most religious natives the church question isn't about your beliefs. Many people see church as a source of socialization. Besides weekly service, dinners, book clubs, group outings etc are common at many churches. So the question they are really asking newcomers is "Have you found a social network?". They aren't trying to convert you or shame you for having a different belief system.
So true. It is about establishing a network and getting involved in the community.
However, having said that . . . since moving back to Charlotte, I have not been asked about what church I may or may not attend except by a handful of friends - and then, only after we became close friends. I cannot tell you where (or if) any of my neighbors even attend church (or temple or mosque or ashram) except for two - and that is after 8 years and many conversations.
In all honesty, we have been slower to open up and get to know our new neighbors this time around. But, it has nothing to do with where they are from. I'm just afraid I can't weed out the crazies and drama queens that seem to live on every street in every state. Everytime we move, it seems there are the same mix of people: drama queen, noisey neighbor, super helpful, free range kids, over protective parents, too nosey, very quiet (which is who I want to know), snobby, anti-snobby, "expert" on everything, etc. We are just being very careful this time around!
And nothing wrong with that!
A minister once told me - "Be wary of who shows up at the train station."
Meaning: Two types of people usually rush out to greet you when you show up anywhere as the "new person." 1. Those who are genuinely helpful and into welcoming folks to the region and 2. Those who are trouble-makers and looking for fresh victims to draw into their drama, lol
Most people drift into our lives coincidentally, based on shared experiences or happenstance, and often those are the folks who end up being the most amiable acquaintances (if not close friends).
Location: Partisanship Is An Intellectual/Emotional Handicap
1,851 posts, read 2,154,562 times
Reputation: 1082
Quote:
Originally Posted by lumbollo
Who might be giving a "rats ass"? Maybe someone who is posting a great deal in a topic about it. I always say that it is actions that count, not words. .... Just saying.....
Taken from the topic tracker a few minutes ago.
Exactly. And if you read my first post in this thread, you'd know exactly where my view and opinions lie; pertaining to this topic.......
Quote:
Originally Posted by NMyTree
You're always going to have a small percentage of people who dislike or even discriminate against transplants and Yankees. I've encountered them. But it's a small percentage.
I think you get that any where you go. It's not a North/ South thing.
I grew up in Kearny, NJ. When I moved to Vernon, NJ (in Sussex County) there were a few people who didn't like the fact that I was a "City Boy" moving up to the mountains of Vernon. I wasn't a Vernon homegrown.
People are weird that way.
By the same token, you see southerners on this very forum making some rather generalized, broad statements about transplants/Yankees coming to North Carolina and trying to change the culture.
I'm a Yankee transplant. I know several Yankees/transplants down here. None of us are trying to change the north Carolina culture. Speaking for myself, I go about my business every day. I don't ask, demand or petition to change long established North Carolina traditions or custums.
I like something, I take part in it. If I'm not interested or don't like it at all; I don't get involved in it. The End.
The point is, this is nothing but human behavior. It doesn't matter if it's the North, the South, the West, the East.....the City.....the Suburbs ....the rural Country side.....the Mountains....the Desert.....the shorleline.....where ever.
You're always going to have some people who are natives to that particular area, who shun, maybe even resent and/or despise newcomers. It simply is humans .....being. In some areas you will find more than other areas.
In some areas, you will be laregly out-numbered by these types.
To provide you with another example. I have a friend who was born here and grew up in the Concord area. He's a good 'ole southern boy, who's family has been southern for well over 150 years. A few years back he moved out to Wilmington, NC.
Well guess what? He's had a few encounters with people who are good 'ole Wilmington, North Carolina natives; who resent, shun or dislike him because he's not a homegrown Wilmington, North Carolina native, LOL!
And he's a good 'ole southern boy......born and bred in Concord, North Carolina.
So it's not just a North vs. South thing.
This is a defensive mechanism that gets triggered off when natives to any particular area sense someone different than themselves and what they are accustomed to: has come to "invade " their "territory". And I use "invade" in that context with purpose.
It's a very deep rooted and fundamentally primative defense mechanism in our species. For many generations a lot of people fought change and did not embrace people different than themselves and what they have been accustomed to.
In this day and age, I think most people, in my experience, are capable of brushing it off or surpressing that mechanized response and being polite, respectful and friendly with outsider newcomers.
Some embrace that primative mechanism and go with it.
Southerners do it to other outsider Southerners. Northerners do it to other outsider Northerners.
It's human nature.
So no, I don't care what those rude people think or say; in their shunning or/and resentment of this Yankee being in North Carolina. Just like I didn't care what those rude Sussex County, New Jerseyians thougth or said; when I moved to Sussex County, NJ.
But that doesn't mean I don't find the topic interesting and fun to discuss.
Location: Partisanship Is An Intellectual/Emotional Handicap
1,851 posts, read 2,154,562 times
Reputation: 1082
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCgirl
I realize that tone is hard to understand online but my reply was not meant to seem snotty. In fact it was the opposite of that. Again, I was sincere in my attempt to help and honestly I found your joke to be hurtful. It is never my intent to convey a negative attitude or to be rude in any way. I only hope to be helpful here.
Perhaps I am being overly sensitive today but I am going through a painful situation in real life. I am not one to be snarky on city-data and I strive to be positive whenever I can (both on and offline). There is a lot of negativity and pain out there, I don't want to add to it. My "real life" personality is far from snotty or rude and it hurts me to think I have been perceived that way.
Hugs for you.........
((((((((((NCgirl)))))))))))
No biggie, here.
Hope everything works out for you and that things go in a better direction for you, soon.
OK...after being here for the past few years, I have become a more proud Yankee. I have never seen so many snobs...both sides(northerners and southerners) in all my life. I grew up on LI and lived on Sanibel Island for a few years and never Have I seen so much B.S. that I have seen in Charlotte. I am polite, considerate and respectful to all fellow men & women...but the attitudes I have gotten is beyond belief! I am in the fitness industry (21 years now) & I have applied to some area jobs & once especially at YMCA, where a manager looked at my resume (she didnt know I could see her) and literally sneered! wasnt because of my credentials or experience! I have had run ins with southerners sizing me up...guys come on, I am 6 foot 2 and 241 with plenty of life experience, the last thing anyone wants is there ass handed to them. I have encounted my neighbors throwing a block party and literally shunning me (back towards me) when I got home yesterday.....but looking at the difference between them and me is like night and day. The dating scene here is nada...been out there and the attitudes in Ballantyne (where I live)...wow...the people act like this is L.A. or The Hamptons....been to both and trust me this not even close to a speck of anything even close to resembling anything remotely close..lol.
I do have 2 friends here (very nice people) but that took years...and they are clients too. I have been asked many times, what church do I belong too....and have been stabbed in the back on numerous occasions here as well. Ny was never like this...neither fla...and the southerners say then leave! very christian of ya! Just my 2 cents...think about moving here before you do....No Jobs...no fun & 0 culture...
My point is too many personalities...too many bible belters...not enough jobs....dating is horrible..nightlife is listed as the worst in the nation (according to forbes.com for the 4th year in a row). The answer is yes....the southerners do hate us....trust me!
OK...after being here for the past few years, I have become a more proud Yankee. I have never seen so many snobs...both sides(northerners and southerners) in all my life. I grew up on LI and lived on Sanibel Island for a few years and never Have I seen so much B.S. that I have seen in Charlotte. I am polite, considerate and respectful to all fellow men & women...but the attitudes I have gotten is beyond belief! I am in the fitness industry (21 years now) & I have applied to some area jobs & once especially at YMCA, where a manager looked at my resume (she didnt know I could see her) and literally sneered! wasnt because of my credentials or experience! I have had run ins with southerners sizing me up...guys come on, I am 6 foot 2 and 241 with plenty of life experience, the last thing anyone wants is there ass handed to them. I have encounted my neighbors throwing a block party and literally shunning me (back towards me) when I got home yesterday.....but looking at the difference between them and me is like night and day. The dating scene here is nada...been out there and the attitudes in Ballantyne (where I live)...wow...the people act like this is L.A. or The Hamptons....been to both and trust me this not even close to a speck of anything even close to resembling anything remotely close..lol.
I do have 2 friends here (very nice people) but that took years...and they are clients too. I have been asked many times, what church do I belong too....and have been stabbed in the back on numerous occasions here as well. Ny was never like this...neither fla...and the southerners say then leave! very christian of ya! Just my 2 cents...think about moving here before you do....No Jobs...no fun & 0 culture...
My point is too many personalities...too many bible belters...not enough jobs....dating is horrible..nightlife is listed as the worst in the nation (according to forbes.com for the 4th year in a row). The answer is yes....the southerners do hate us....trust me!
We don't hate you honey - we hate the bad attitudes some of you have
Since you are so miserable can I assume you are preparing to move back to NY?
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