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But you did do something. You made a sacrifice to not follow the (social) herd and create yet another (human) organism that would compete with other species for space and natural resources. You accepted a path of inaction that benefits the ecosystem and other species who are under ever growing duress from the continued expansion of human civilization. That IS something to be celebrated.
Yes, to be a parent is a difficult and noble task. It deserves respect and admiration. And we need to perpetuate the species so we can continue to be the steward of life on Earth.
Because then we would be advocating the idea that humanity should die out, which is a disgusting idea.
There is a difference between one not wanting the financial and other burdens of having kids in modern society, and wanting humanity to die out. Which won't happen anyway, at least not for a very long time even if more and more people choose to not have kids. There are still and will be plenty of people who do want kids or who are careless or who don't have access to birth control options. People aren't going anywhere by our own accord anytime soon.
The idea that having kids is an obligation we all must fulfill is disturbing. Not everyone should be a parent based on the type of person they are, not everyone wants to be a parent. Kids are expensive and a lifelong commitment. It is far more responsible for some people to admit they aren't ready for it and never will be than it is for people to have kids just because they feel like it is their duty as a human, no matter their situations.
I don't know of anyone who seriously believes that "humanity should die out." But if we don't control our numbers, and if we continue to foul our own nest at the rate we have been, it's a real possibility. We have been doing a pretty poor job of stewardship.
We certainly have. I believe the planet will throw us off before we get to destroy it completely.
Humanity has an obligation to continue to exist, to perpetuate the species. We find ourselves as the steward of life on Earth. Just by virtue of being the only intelligent species on the planet. As far as we know, all life and all intelligent life is found on Earth. If humanity were to cease to exist, an asteroid or comet would strike, or there could be disease outbreak and all life on Earth, and all known life in the universe, would also cease to exist. Eventually the Sun will increase in size and destroy the Earth.
But if we do continue to exist, we can populate other planets, including other planets orbiting other stars, and spread life and intelligent life throughout the solar system and the galaxy, thus ensuring its security.
All the beauty that has been created by life and intelligence must continue to exist and thrive.
Rather than causing overpopulation, humanity actually faces its eventual extinction, if we do not have more children. The Total Fertility Rate for the world has to stay above 2.1, or we will not replace the previous generation.
I unfortunately have never had children. I wanted to, but no one ever liked me back. I hope to be a known sperm donor someday, if I can find the right couple and they are interested in going through IVF with me.
I would never want to date or touch someone who supports VHET, or thinks the human population should be reduced. Seeing a dead human body being decomposed by maggots would disgust me less than VHET/ChildFree.
Anyone who thinks only humans are intelligent has very weak powers of observation.
Look around you. it's amazing, the brilliance of species other than humans. Or, failing that, rifle through videos on the internet of animal behavior.
I don't know of anyone who seriously believes that "humanity should die out." But if we don't control our numbers, and if we continue to foul our own nest at the rate we have been, it's a real possibility. We have been doing a pretty poor job of stewardship.
Have you considered the argument that numbers aren't the problem? There's a more compelling argument that over-consumption is the problem that we should be looking at. A different type of cultural change to focus our energies on.
Even if numbers of the population are reduced, the culture of over-consumption will continue to be the problem. Look at how much waste the US churns out compared to other places that have more inhabitants. Look at how much global pollution the US cultural for consumption creates. That really isn't about kids and population size. It's the American lifestyle, child-free or not.
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The population of the United States is only about a quarter the size of China's, yet the amount of garbage produced by the U.S. on an annual basis is close to the amount that China produces.
I am the natural mother of four and then I also have a stepson. Parenthood is tough, rewarding, requires sacrifice but also brings great pleasure, etc etc etc.
Basically, if you do a half way decent job, you are required to put the needs of another person above those of your own. That doesn't mean you don't address your own needs, it just means that you consider THEIR needs first. That's a tricky balancing act, especially as they become teens.
Parenthood requires a lot of patience. I personally think it's easier if the parent has a sense of humor too! It also requires a mindset that's tough for a lot of people and that is "I am the boss. You will never win a showdown with the boss. I hope you like me and I hope we can be friends one day, but while you're a minor, first and foremost you will respect me." That's the starting off point. And then you have to follow through - you have to live a life that commands respect (easier said than done). You have to be firm when you're tired of being firm. You have to have a stronger will than them, and believe me, no matter how cute they are and how much you love and adore them, sometimes they will push you to the very limit of your personal fortitude.
To me, parenthood required me to develop organizational skills. My "natural" organizational skills are about a six on a scale of one to ten. But having kids and then later, having a CAREER and kids, really forced me to hone those skills. Otherwise, our lives would have just spiraled down into chaos. I'd say I'm a much better person now. Post kids - I'm a lot more patient and more organized. Having kids taught me the fine art of picking my battles, picking which hill I was prepared to die on - and when to let things go.
Example - my oldest son went through a dread locks stage. OMG how I hated those dreadlocks! HATED them. But I also figured, hey, it's hair - and it's a fad. He will grow out of it. So I let that go. Same with his clothing style, which, to go along with the dreadlocks, was "skater style" for awhile. So here was my line in the sand - you can dress the way you want to dress (as long as it's SOMEWHAT appropriate for the occasion), and you can wear your hair the way you want to wear it, but both hair and clothes must be clean. And in exchange for this freedom of expression, you will go where I want you to go when I want you to go there. For instance, church. We went to church - and he wore his dreadlocks and skater clothes there (and now he cringes at the photos so it's totally worth it!). And I also let him go to places like the skate park - but he had to wear pads and a helmet.
Side note - I was so proud of him one time when he actually crashed and burned in front of an elderly neighbor's house and she called the ambulance - and when they arrived, he had been wearing all his protective gear (YAY!) and subsequently, he wasn't hurt. I was at work, and so I hadn't been there when he came in from school and changed and took his skateboard to skate out to the skate park, but he had been obedient about the gear!
Anyway, enough about all that - my point is that parenting adds a whole other layer of responsibility - and joy - and sometimes heartache - to life. It's a huge job, and I have no problem with people honoring parents.
Look, it's sort of like when you honor someone from graduating from college. We don't generally celebrate I Quit Going To College Day. Or big events like an 18th birthday, or a 40th birthday or a congratulations get together when someone gets a new job, or a promotion, or whatever. We don't generally throw a big party for a 38th birthday, or a Congrats On Getting Passed Over For That Promotion party. We may celebrate a Yay Your Divorce Is Final event, but we don't generally celebrate the anniversary of a person's divorce year after year.
That doesn't mean that it was a bad call to quit college, or turn 38, or lose out on a job or promotion that we thought we wanted, or get a divorce. It just means that some events are more positive and noteworthy than others, to OTHER people. We may personally be a much better person - for instance, we may have lost 30 pounds and gotten away from Type 2 diabetes between 37 and 38. We may have divorced an abusive spouse. We may realize that the promotion we thought we wanted is not something that would fit well into our life and we're better off without it.
Hell, let's just celebrate everything. I Got A New Car Day, I'm In My Fifties and On No Prescription Drugs Day, I Have An Awesome Apartment Day, I Put A Will Together Day, My Credit Score is Above 750 Finally Day, etc. Look, all those things are great, and I'm not saying they shouldn't be celebrated - I'm just saying they aren't on the same "level" of becoming a parent and parenting for decades. Few things in life require such a long, challenging level of commitment - not to just ourselves but to another person as well.
Have you considered the argument that numbers aren't the problem? There's a more compelling argument that over-consumption is the problem that we should be looking at. A different type of cultural change to focus our energies on.
Even if numbers of the population are reduced, the culture of over-consumption will continue to be the problem. Look at how much waste the US churns out compared to other places that have more inhabitants. Look at how much global pollution the US cultural for consumption creates. That really isn't about kids and population size. It's the American lifestyle, child-free or not.
If we curb over consumption, how will the jobs that are eliminated be replaced? Over consumption is the backbone of our economy is it not?
I think the only way to curb consumption is to curb population. Fewer people equals less comsumption which will be balanced by fewer jobs required.
On the other hand, I have four daughters. I won't need nursing home insurance. I'm raising my owned skilled nursing facility.
You don't know that. Any parent who assumes their kids will take care of them in their old age is woefully misguided. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. I had a conversation with an Uber driver the other day and he told me his five children had completely turned against him and they had refused to speak to him for years due to a religious conflict. He missed them desperately but had no idea how to fix it. (Why he told me, a complete stranger, this I have no idea but that's another discussion for another thread.)
I never had kids for two reasons: 1. I couldn't afford them. 2. I don't like them. Good thing #2 is true because I would have been crushed by the reality of #1 if I liked them and wanted them. As for the National Childfree Day, why not have it? Mother's Day and Father's Day have existed for eons. Celebrate or don't; it's a choice no matter what.
I think Mother's Day and Father's Day are rather narcissistic. You chose to have children, now you want recognition and a special day? I've never liked those two forced holidays. I think they're stupid. What's wrong with a Child Free Day if we nationally celebrate people who choose to have kids?
Even worse is Grandparents Day. Seriously, celebrating people because their children had children?
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