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Right, and that's the big part missing from the OP. Is this mystery women who needs to get in shape stuffing her face with donuts on the couch? Is she depressed and self-medicating with food? Is she on a new medication that's messing with her metabolism? Has her work schedule changed so that it's harder to schedule a workout into her day? Was she athletic and fit to begin with? Has she gained a lot of weight or just changed her lifestyle? There's a lot of information that we don't have that would be helpful. Someone who truly cared would try to get to the bottom of any changes, rather than going right into "your appearance displeases me."
Indeed. Last year I was put on a medication that caused some unintended weight gain. My eating habits hadn't changed, but this medication was one of the "first line" treatments my doctor wanted to try. I stopped taking it after six months because I was tired of the side effects.
When I had undiagnosed PPD, I self-medicated with refined carbs (that high induced by sugar/refined carbs has a nice effect on dopamine and serotonin, similar to a high produced by illegal drugs. Case in point: Pubmed), and it was a vicious cycle. So many are completely ignorant behind the mechanism of many health issues. They think because they don't have X or Y problem then everyone must be like them. Because they're "not lazy and have awesome willpower" then everyone else should also just "not be lazy and put the burger down." There's often much, much more to it than bumper sticker advice and garden variety moto sayings.
LOL @ the rep I receive "Sorry you've been brainwashed to think you are worth no more than you looks. Some of us have more to offer than just that."
Who said anything about only having your looks to offer? Some women are a trip. Typical woman, twisting words in order to justify appearing to not have preferences
I guess attitudes like these are why 2/3 of Americans are overweight. Somehow a personality is supposed to trump ones health. But then again every overweight person on the internet is a marathon runner who is in better shape than every skinny person they know
Replace 60 lbs with 200 lbs, are you singing the same tune?
Sometimes people are naive in hopes of trying to change reality. People change, and if it's dramatic (whether personality wise or physically), you can't expect the person you're with to want to be with you anymore
Sorry, but if I put on 200 lbs on my frame that is only meant to maybe be 125lbs at most, why would I expect my husband to stay with me? I'm reckless with my health (as I said, both grandparents died from heart disease, my father is diabetic which I know isn't a death sentence, but still), I'm selfish and I'm not taking care of myself.
And the same goes for men as well. Most men in America aren't exactly the epitome of lean muscle with a low body fat percentage.
If the OP is a slob as well, not sure where he gets off thinking she's the only who needs to change...
But I can kinda see why American men commonly go to Asia for partners. They typically cite physical appearance as one, since those women do tend to take care of their weight
Geez!! I guess I live in a different world than most other folks here. Most of the women I have dated in my lifetime I could say "Hey, you look like you are getting fat, how about we hit the gym today" or "You are getting pudgy, think you should cut back on the fruit and start hitting the gym more" or something similar.
I would in no way shape or form be upset if my wife comes to me and says "Hey fatty, how about doing something to no be so fat" or "You are starting to look like a fat piggy, better go run around the beach a few times", I would not be upset. It would just help reinforce the need to stay on track with my health/fitness for the sake of not only my health, but also for our relationship and the sake of our kids.
People need to stop tip toeing and walking on eggshells around something that is so extremely important.
You wouldn't happen to be a martial arts instructor, would you?
Indeed. Last year I was put on a medication that caused some unintended weight gain. My eating habits hadn't changed, but this medication was one of the "first line" treatments my doctor wanted to try. I stopped taking it after six months because I was tired of the side effects.
When I had undiagnosed PPD, I self-medicated with refined carbs (that high induced by sugar/refined carbs has a nice effect on dopamine and serotonin, similar to a high produced by illegal drugs. Case in point: Pubmed), and it was a vicious cycle. So many are completely ignorant behind the mechanism of many health issues. They think because they don't have X or Y problem then everyone must be like them. Because they're "not lazy and have awesome willpower" then everyone else should also just "not be lazy and put the burger down." There's often much, much more to it than bumper sticker advice and garden variety moto sayings.
Wait! You mean the human body is slightly more complex than a Bunsen burner? The hell you say!
Don't tell me "you don't" ! There has to be some way to bring it up and encourage / support , ask them to loose weight and get in shape without hurting their feelings. I know being pushy or rude is no way to go but somebody has had to have hit on the exact combination of timing and words to pull it off
Tough. Free forum, I'll say what I want. You don't. It's rude no matter how you cut it.
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There's often much, much more to it than bumper sticker advice and garden variety moto sayings.
