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I'd like to know the definition of "fluff" in your eyes. What I listed is fairly basic.
100K for large metropolitan areas and 75K gross incomes for others for a couple to have a family is not unreasonable. I see it being a struggle otherwise. It called an obligation to your children not to have money problems and taking steps to make them happy instead.
This is fluff
I took everything into consideration which includes housing with a yard for kids to play, summer camps, family vacations and weekend get-aways, and at the very least - help with college.
It takes less money to make a child happy than you think.
Yeah we don't use a sitter at all. My partner's mother works full time during the day as well, so she's available to help us on weekends only and my parents are in another state. So far so good. When I said difficult, I meant that there are days when I rush home from work and she rushes out the door past me to her job. Those days we both don't get a break. We have Saturdays off and have made a point to do nothing on that day except spend time together with the baby and that's what gets me through the rest of the week.
I understand that. I usually get to see my wife for 30 minutes before she heads off to work but there are definitely times that I get home and she heads right out.
I do agree it's no guarantee. It also sounds like we had similar childhoods but mine was a constant struggle with money. I should have never been born and I still feel that way today. I kind of wish it never happened.
I also had a very unhappy childhood which included violence. Countless times my father beat my mother up right in front of me. He beat me up too. This was mostly due to frustration about money issues so I speak from experience that good incomes and money in the bank is the best way to go.
Well based on your experience it makes sense why you think the way you do.
It took me a bunch of years to get over my child hood - therapy, self discovery, addiction and then finally being true to myself. The therapists always said to me "you learned from your mother what not to do, now you can do different by your children." I will give my daughter everything I can both emotionally and financially. I understand the value of just spending time with your children even if you're just doing nothing.
I'm lucky violence never happened to me. I could not imagine living through that. The thing is that we need to move on from these experiences and live life on our terms. I'm in a much better place now and my mother has apologized to me. Right before the baby was born we had another heart to heart where we agreed to put it all behind us. It still stings from time to time, but I try to remind myself that I live for my daughter now and my issues are behind me. Money can't buy this experience and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Some people have children on accident, some really want to share their wisdom and experience with a little human being that looks and acts like you. Like they say, if we all wait until we are mentally and financially ready for children, most of us wouldn't have them.
Gotta respect people that can sacrifice so much to raise children. I know people that don't make much and have 2-3 kids, mortgage, car payment, couple pets, etc. Their life is 100% consumed by their kids and role as a parent. The cynical side of me thinks their life becomes all about the kids because they really don't have many "life options"...therefore, they make the best of their situation and reinvent their "life purpose" as something to do with kids.
I took everything into consideration which includes housing with a yard for kids to play, summer camps, family vacations and weekend getaways, and at the very least - help with college.
It takes less money to make a child happy than you think.
Well, we strongly disagree because that is not "fluff."
I do not know what it's like to be happy as a child because I did not experience it.
I can only remember 2 "vacations" during my entire childhood and that involved an 8 hour one way trip in a hot car with nothing to do to visit mean grandparents.
It helps to live in a low COL area because wages are low almost everywhere. My cousin and his wife both have MBA's and just make $60K/yr between the both of them. They live just outside of Oklahoma City though where the COL is cheap. They are extremely frugal people too which helps.
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