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Many people with children tend to look at those that chose to be child free as selfish with the majority of those child free people chasing material possessions.
Whereas this is true in many cases it is not really a priority for my wife and I. We are in our late forties and prior to us getting married we discussed remaining child free.
The most prized thing for us is the luxury of time. We simply have large blocks of time that is used by us for a plethora of reasons such as travel, sleep, education, etc.
My wife has a younger sister with two children, both under the age of ten. She and her husband have absolutely zero time to do anything other than the tasks related to caring for their children.
Her and her husband are constantly stressed, argumentative and chronically sleep deprived.
We on the other hand on a typical week day come home, grill some steaks, burgers, chicken, etc and relax in the hot tub before spending some time online or reading prior to bedtime at approx. 10:00 PM.
This is the reason why my wife and I have no children. It's the luxury of time that we demand and it's the luxury of time that we receive.
It is your choice to live the life you have. It is good we have that choice. But I hope you don't base you view of parenting on your sister in law's life. The children are a big impact to the life of parents. But perhaps her husband isn't a good dad. Maybe they aren't really a good couple. Maybe those arguments really don't need to happen.
I am not a spiritual person. But I get great personal satisfaction that my wife and I have raised three children through early adulthood. I am excited to see them grow up into fine people and perhaps do something special over time in their lives. The world is better to have them and I have the feeling every day that I participated in creating something, not just consuming.
If you think the key to a happy childhood is a house with a yard, vacations and weekend getaways that's sad. You don't need camps either. That's fluff. You can raise happy children with your only vacations being visiting other family members, what you are listing is fluff and not needed. That wouldn't have changed your childhood from what it was to good or decent
You are really being silly. It was a small basic list and vacations regardless where and visiting whoever still costs money, obviously.
Of course parent-child bonding belongs at the top of any list but there is so much more in regards to that as well.
This subject is about money and what it takes. Since I mentioned it's the parents obligation to at least help in some way with further education and you call that "fluff" it's no point on continuing this conversation.
I stated my opinion and you don't agree. No sense on this dragging out any further...
I took everything into consideration which includes housing with a yard for kids to play, summer camps, family vacations and weekend get-aways, and at the very least - help with college.
It takes less money to make a child happy than you think.
It just takes parents who love and give attention and encouragement to their kids and who make enough money to meet their basic needs.
Currently 20% of Americans make $100,000 or more and can easily afford a nanny, especially since they don't have to cost $50k. A co-worker makes about 60k, husband 40k, and they have some additional income from stock trading. Their nanny is from China, doesn't speak English, but costs them $10/hour plus room and board to take care of their twins. That's barely over minimum wage here ($9.32). Those paying $50k for nannies are probably in the top 1% or close to it, the kind of people that offer more and more money to steal the latest top nanny from their neighbor. There are also still plenty of people where one spouse makes enough that the other can stay home. In fact, in our area we see plenty of this with highly paid tech people from other countries buying a $700k house, with several kids and maybe a grandparent or two living with them, and the spouse cannot work due to lack of Visa.
20% of us can easily afford a nanny? LOL :spits coffee on screen: -- Did you read this article? It says:
Quote:
while many Americans still see that number as a prized income, it doesn't necessarily roll out the red carpet anymore. Due to the rising costs of food, energy, college tuition, health insurance and the growing "necessities" of a middle-class life, a $100,000 salary in some parts of the country covers little more than the essentials.
A six-figure salary is still a great income, but the quality of life it provides is highly dependent on geography, family size and lifestyle. Making a six-figure salary as a single person in Houston is drastically different from raising a family of four on $100,000 in Boston.
....
But according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics inflation calculator, for a person to have the same purchasing power in 2012 as a $100,000 income earner in 1980 did, he or she would need to earn nearly $279,000.
"If $100,000 income doesn't even buy half of what it once did, it makes you wonder about people living on the median income (of $50,502)," says Adam. "It underlines the fact that times are getting tougher for everyone."
So yes, while 20% of households may bring in $100k, how many of them can afford to employ even the cheapest full time nannies at $20-25k/year (you probably aren't getting the equivalent of a teacher at that salary). That's essentially 25%+ of their take home pay!
My guess is that maybe 2% of families in America can afford a full time nanny on top of the cost of raising kids, paying the mortgage, saving for retirement, utilities, car payments, etc etc.
Last edited by eddiehaskell; 07-10-2014 at 09:10 AM..
Responsible people who want kids are ones who understand going into it that it's not "cheap" and even with budget limitations you figure out ways to make it work.
People who are too freaked out about this should think twice before having kids... ladies, get on that pill... fellas... wrap it up.
20% of us can easily afford a nanny? LOL :spits coffee on screen: -- Did you read this article? It says:
So yes, while 20% of households may bring in $100k, how many of them can afford to employ even the cheapest full time nannies at $20-25k/year (you probably aren't getting the equivalent of a teacher at that salary). That's essentially 25%+ of their take home pay!
My guess is that maybe 2% of families in America can afford a full time nanny on top of the cost of raising kids, paying the mortgage, saving for retirement, utilities, car payments, etc etc.
How much do you think people pay for daycare in general? That's certainly an offset to think about when talking about the cost of a nanny.
Having kids is not something people do for fun. They do it because they want to - they think having children is important. I suspect that at an anthropology level it is at least somewhat programmed into our DNA.
Having kids and struggling is not so smart though. It is not only hard work, it creates a challenging environment for children.
How much do you think people pay for daycare in general? That's certainly an offset to think about when talking about the cost of a nanny.
I'd say most people end up just having to find a way like other posters have mentioned. They may alternate childcare duties (assuming different shifts or different days off), one parent may stop working, pawn them off at grandparents or find a cheap daycare that's within their budget...perhaps a combination of these. When the kids start school they may find some sort of after school program (YMCA for example) for a few hours until one of the parents get off work.
I don't know how accurate the stats are, but this site says the average live-in nanny makes $652/week. That's $34k. What percentage of the country can afford anything close to that? Dropping the kids off at Donna Jou's (woman that babysits 5-6 kids during the day) for $150/week is way more realistic.
Last edited by eddiehaskell; 07-10-2014 at 09:56 AM..
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