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A discussion with the janitor doesn't need to be long or disclose anything. Any parent who would seek an explanation from or engage the janitor in a discussion about the interaction between he and the child in a situation like this is naive and misguided. You arent going to get anymore insight from speaking to him - if he is a predator he is likely very skilled and will run circles around you. If he isnt he likely is quite harmless -but again - that's not my concern as a parent.
Its not a question and answer, coffee chat nor an interrogation. Its an introduction. A simple - Hi how are you? Let me introduce myself. Nothing more. There does not have to be a long conversation or any discussion. The mom isn't seeking to make friends, get to know or get an explanation - just a I know who you are and BTW "i got my eye on you."
Hehe. I rep'd you for the spirit. And if the parent is a 6'4" 250 pound ex marine with a bad attitude I'll go with your plan. That would send the right message.
How about the line Cher's (Alicia Silverstone) father used on her date in Clueless: "I've got a .45 and a shovel and I don't think anyone will miss you."
The parent is not the janitor's supervisor. The parent cannot discipline the janitor, or even ask that the janitor do anything pertaining to his job. That is why the principal or other administrator needs to be involved.
I have read this entire thread and I so agree with Calipoppy and others about the grooming. We do not live in a world (and maybe never have) where we can for one minute think something is harmless regarding our children. This has nothing to do with this thread, but one of my Facebook updates was an advisement issued via a tv station from some sort of an agency for emergency preparedness. They advised people to check in frequently with the elderly and children staying at home alone in their neighborhoods during an ice storm, and to go to homes and knock on doors of the children and elderly. I immediately commented that I did not think it was a good idea for neighbors to randomly stop by at homes where the parents were at work and the child was at home alone, as those children were not supposed to be opening the door for anyone. I was jumped on by all sorts of people who called me paranoid etc. One of the main rules for latch-key children is to not answer the phone or doors. Period. I don't want some guy from down the street at my door unless my house is burning down. The other people jumped to all sorts of ridiculous tangents with this as usual, suggesting that they should not help children if the house was burning down based on my rationale and other equally illogical stretches of the imagination.
No one can tell if someone is a molester by meeting them and getting to know them. How many many thousands of people were raped, molested and killed by people and no one knew that they had it in them to be so evil! And it would be the same thing with a woman janitor. Women have been used in the past to lure victims for the molester, and what about that woman killing the kid in her neighborhood and stuffing her in a suitcase? Yes it is a sad world and I agree it is a shame that we have to be so cautious.
Is it worth it if your child was the victim? You can never go back and reclaim that child's innocence and life. They will be scarred forever.
Any adult with a brain knows they should be very careful in their behavior around children.
I really think talking to the principal is needed but it won't neccessarily solve the problem. People naturally want to think "it won't or can't happen here", she is overreacting. The tendency also is to be defensive and to cover their butt. They may be more worried about how it looks for their school and how it inconveniences them. Others may be so busy in their assigned duties that no notice is made on things that don't directly affect them. There really is no way to make this a perfect world. But we can try to enable our children to grow up as unscathed as possible.
The parent is not the janitor's supervisor. The parent cannot discipline the janitor, or even ask that the janitor do anything pertaining to his job. That is why the principal or other administrator needs to be involved.
If that janitor is engaging in inappropriate contact (or contact which is deameaned inappropriate by the parents) with their child then the parents have every right to address that situation head on. This is not an HR matter but a protection of the child matter. Also, there are far too many instances were school administrations are brain dead and incompetent in the protection of children.
If that janitor is engaging in inappropriate contact (or contact which is deameaned inappropriate by the parents) with their child then the parents have every right to address that situation head on. This is not an HR matter but a protection of the child matter. Also, there are far too many instances were school administrations are brain dead and incompetent in the protection of children.
It's a big "if" for one thing. Also, if the parents jump in and confront the janitor, that will not protect any other kids. If this guy is a pedophile, he'll just find another victim. But to some parents, that's OK if it's not their child.
It seems like the administration would already know about this if the janitor is actually sitting down with the kid or kids. Someone should have talked to him already without the parent or kid having to remark on it.
I would take my complaint to the school, and if it fell on deaf ears, would go to the school board and higher if need be. What is this janitor doing all day? I still don't see how he has time to do this on the taxpayer's dime.
Wilson, Calipoppy & Charles Wallace all got reps from me - deserving of more but could only give one each! MacBeth, listen to your gut. Take care of your son. Don't let others try and guilt you away from it. Good luck.
It seems like the administration would already know about this if the janitor is actually sitting down with the kid or kids.
Yes, the lunchrooms are supervised by adults in most schools. If anything really hinky was going on, you'd think some adult would have noticed. Maybe not every time, but certainly at some point in time.
Someone should have talked to him already without the parent or kid having to remark on it.
Maybe, and maybe not. I wouldn't assume so.
I would take my complaint to the school, and if it fell on deaf ears, would go to the school board and higher if need be.
I agree with this approach.
What is this janitor doing all day? I still don't see how he has time to do this on the taxpayer's dime.
Good grief, what kind of a work environment would it be if the person was so busy he couldn't talk to a kid? At my kids' ele school, the janitor was one of the most helpful people on staff. When we would go back after school b/c someone had forgotten something, he was the only one there, and would let us into the locked classroom.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maja
Wilson, Calipoppy & Charles Wallace all got reps from me - deserving of more but could only give one each! MacBeth, listen to your gut. Take care of your son. Don't let others try and guilt you away from it. Good luck.
Well, good for you all! Some of us approach this issue differently, e.g. we think the facts should be gathered first. All we have is the OP's post; there is a lot we don't know. This is not to say I don't think the kids, and that's kids plural, not just this one kid, should be protected in the meantime. That's why, as soon as school starts back up, I think the parent should talk to the principal.
Well, good for you all! Some of us approach this issue differently, e.g. we think the facts should be gathered first. All we have is the OP's post; there is a lot we don't know. This is not to say I don't think the kids, and that's kids plural, not just this one kid, should be protected in the meantime. That's why, as soon as school starts back up, I think the parent should talk to the principal.
Aren't we all saying the same thing now? Parent goes to see Principal. If Principal solves problem to parent's satisfaction great. If not, move to next step whatever that is.
My intensity on this topic stems from the fact that a week ago the consensus here was "parent is over reacting" "janitor is obviously a great guy" "it was just a Santa hat" etc.
Hopefully that reckless attitude is discredited and we can all move on.
Aren't we all saying the same thing now? Parent goes to see Principal. If Principal solves problem to parent's satisfaction great. If not, move to next step whatever that is.
My intensity on this topic stems from the fact that a week ago the consensus here was "parent is over reacting" "janitor is obviously a great guy" "it was just a Santa hat" etc.
Hopefully that reckless attitude is discredited and we can all move on.
Now? Some of us have been saying similar all along, with some thought to getting the facts as well, which a certain faction on this thread does not believe in doing. Here is my first post, on Dec. 26.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana
I would say the bold is an assumption that may not be true. The kid may be popular b/c he is friendly, and the janitor picked up on that.
My first thought was that a personal gift is not OK. I do think this should be reported to the principal, in such a way as: "I don't want to get this guy in trouble, but. . . " in your own words, of course.
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