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Maybe this should be in the psychology thread, but... Former "beauties," how do you handle the invariable ravages of age?
I try to replace my former looks with something else. Being a mom helped a lot. Getting in shape and being athletic helps, too. I might not be pretty, but I'm as strong as fast as the pretty people, and I've got some serious muscles under my wrinkly skin.
Not gonna' lie, though - if I could afford it, I'd get some work done on my face, and I wear gloves sometimes just to hide my ugly hands.
This is a good thread. I am now 66, and I have only fairly recently learned to truly embrace getting older and all that goes with it. I am not going to detail what about my physical self I am unhappy with - it doesn't matter, because I take good care of myself and believe I look good for my age. I have my share of sagging, bagging, et. like anyone but I am a good weight and have great muscle tone due to my constant exercise. I am also growing out my silver hair which is starting to look really good and actually getting compliments (and looks) from younger men - who knew? Anyway, I feel that people see true beauty in those who are happy, confident and exude warmth and joy. THAT is what makes someone truly attractive and beautiful and yes, sexy! I am smiling and laughing all the time, and that is what I like to see in others!
And guess what else - no matter what age you are, or WHAT you look like, there are those out there who dig it! So be confident and just ROCK whoever and whatever you are, there is nothing so beautiful, sexy and attractive as one who truly just "owns" who they are.
Basically the only people who think Young is Beautiful, are the young
and half of them also think Old is Beautiful too
So the Losing Your Beauty Q is based on OP's Ideals Only
And OP, you are way in the minority
Actually, there's a whole "thing" about only nubile/fertile women being desirable to men, which is only logical when you think of the propagation of the species (older women cannot or, even if they could, probably shouldn't procreate, whereas men can safely for life). Note that men needn't WANT children, necessarily; it's just that they're hardwired to be attracted to women who can have them (it's all subconscious). Read Helen Fischer's "Anatomy of Love." If you're happily married, no problem; if you're single, over 50, and looking (I can take it or leave it, but), good luck. It's not purely subjective, but based in science.
Also, something about menopause definitely changes a woman; it's like adjusting to a whole new you! At least in my experience.
Finally, is "smiling and laughing all the time" compatible with "growing more spiritual and intellectual"?
"This seems to be a big change from the way you were thinking just months ago, Otter. You've been saying right along that if someone is worried about looks or dress, then she is worried about how others perceive her."
First of all, I really hate when posters "call you out" on other posts you've made; it feels stalkerish.
Secondly, I am NOT one to worry about looks; that's the entire point. So when friends subtly -- or not so subtly -- point out that, now that I'm graying and fading, I would look SO MUCH BETTER with some hair dye and war paint, I find that annoying, and I wondered how others cope. I don't wish to expend time, energy, or money on my looks, as I never have before, so I find it somewhat disconcerting to be told that I look "tired," "sick," or (one could logically conclude) "ugly" if I don't.
"This seems to be a big change from the way you were thinking just months ago, Otter. You've been saying right along that if someone is worried about looks or dress, then she is worried about how others perceive her."
First of all, I really hate when posters "call you out" on other posts you've made; it feels stalkerish.
Secondly, I am NOT one to worry about looks; that's the entire point. So when friends subtly -- or not so subtly -- point out that, now that I'm graying and fading, I would look SO MUCH BETTER with some hair dye and war paint, I find that annoying, and I wondered how others cope. I don't wish to expend time, energy, or money on my looks, as I never have before, so I find it somewhat disconcerting to be told that I look "tired," "sick," or (one could logically conclude) "ugly" if I don't.
Thanks for asking!
No stalking attempt here, honestly. I just thought I remembered another thread or two of the same type where you were sort of on the other side of that fence. Not trying to "call you out", either, whatever that means.
I was truly concerned and trying to have a conversation. No offense intended.
I was going to post this. I will be 39 this year, and I got carded a few weeks ago.
I wonder if aging is mostly genetic or mostly lifestyle?
The females in my family have horrible lifestyles, but good genetics.
I don't have any wrinkles.
The youthful volume in my face goes away, it is not plump anymore and gets more and more hollow. Might be aging (less fat and collagen) and also my thyroid issue.
I think aging is mostly genetic and a little bit lifestyle.
My bf went through A LOT of accidents and injuries, taking care of dying parents for many years and he looks like 35 (he is 48) and has tons of dark hair, no grey hair at all.
I have a coworker whose life was super boring, no injuries, no drama - his hair is mostly grey at the age of 40 and he doesn't look a day younger than his age.
I would not exchange the signs of aging for the peace of mind I have now, and the feeling of being centered.
Still will do what I can to look young, I ain't going down without a fight! Kathryn mentioned neck, and I just had that "OMG" moment in the mirror where I was like "what the heck happened there?!!"
I'm comfortable for now, though I am not against a little nip / tuck later. I don't want that pull tight / fish lip look.
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