My husband is a fussy eater, I need help (breakfast, homemade, meals)

[Mikala43]

To me this isn't really a food issue, it's attitude, lack of communication, and demanding that someone 1) figure out what their needs are; and, 2) meet their needs, because they are not willing to do it themselves.

Blaming you for his eating cheetos.

[FalconheadWest]

I didn't read all the pages, but I'll chime in with more of the cook for yourself and he'll eat if he's hungry. My husband complains a lot because his mom was a bad cook. I changed some of my cooking to not make things he didn't like. Turns out, I'm an adult, and if I want to make it, I'm going to make it. If he doesn't want to eat it, he can figure something else out.

My kids have decided to be picky too, and they don't get snacks after dinner if they choose not to eat. They eat. They complain, and are told they can leave the table if they are going to complain, and they shut up and eat.

Most of the food you've mentioned sounds too fancy. You need to get more basic. Steak and potatoes. Pasta. Grilled Chicken. Fried Chicken. Tacos. Fajitas. No one needs fancy schmancy food except every once in a while.

[SLaRock1]

what ever happened to If you dont want what I cooked, then there's cereal as your choice

[Cmoidd]

Thanks everyone for all your advice, so i had a chat with him, i was so nervous, and wasn't sure how to start, and he was in a good mood, so i was frustrated knowing I was going to ruin his day...

And Yep, it didn't go well... at 1st
So i told him things needs to change, from now on he needs to prepare his own meal if he doesn't want to eat the same than me
He said he doesn't like food, and doesn't know anything about it, i'm the one that know all about it so i should be the one do the cooking.
I told him i don't know much about food either, all i do is simple stuff
I offer to look at some recipes book to give him some ideas, but he doesn't want

I asked him to switch places for a week, he will be the one doing all the cooking to see how it goes, he refused straight away saying he doesn't want to do it he hates cooking, so i told him i don't like it either, why should i be the one in charge, why not him? i'm not his maid but his equal partner, he should be the one helping with the cooking not the other way around because with the pregnacy i'm really tired all the time, so that's would be nice if he could help

He got upset (as planned) saying all i do is shouting at him, he is always the one to be blamed for everything, and he shut down, took his laptop and went on it, that was the end of the talk for him.. I kept on for a little while but he just blanked me...
And was not talking to me anymore.

So i just went off for a couple of hours, when i got home i could hear him saying to our son FINALLY from upstairs
He came down and still didn't talk to me

So i start cooking (frankfurt sausages wrap in ham, with a homemade tomato sauce made with a bechamel sauce and tomato puree and some cheese)
After i put it in the oven and told him what i prepared i asked him if would like to eat what i was eating, he answered me in a rough tone NO
I then said, that's fine, then make your own arrangement for your dinner, i'm having this.

Maybe 10 min later, he came in the kitchen asking what was in the recipe, after explanation, he said, there nothing else to eat so i don't have the choice i'll have to eat it!
And ate it, and liked it, he wouldn't admit it but he did, he got 2 servings
And we all ate at the table

It's a 1st in a long time yeahh

He was a bit jealous of my son having nuggets for his supper, but it was going to be too much for him to try this, i'll need to start little by little with him, he knows tomorrow he going to have to try carrot and chicken with his pasta

So at the end, my husband is still upset at me for "forcing him" to eat and blaming him for everything, he is still really cold with me and won't talk to me but we're getting there!

[homeonthelittlemountain]

Originally Posted by SLaRock1

what ever happened to If you dont want what I cooked, then there's cereal as your choice

Yep. I'm sorry but your husband is an ass. He’s a grown man, he can damn well feed himself if he doesn’t like what you make. Enough of turning yourself into a pretzel to please him. This is ridiculous.

I’m not so sure this has much to do with food. I think he gets off on the control and manipulation. His behavior is abusive. I suspect he behaves this way in others areas of your marriage too. You are in a tough, tough place. You can’t leave him now with a baby coming. But if his behavior gets worse, see an attorney on the sly. Start making a get away plan.

Years ago I worked for the police department, counseling sexually assaulted women and children. From your description, your husband is in the beginning stages of abusive behavior. It won’t get any better.

The silent treatment, his blaming you for his bad mood, you fretting over a “good” time to talk to him, and so much more. Please take care of yourself and your children. I’m so sorry, I don’t think this will end well. Protect yourself.

Yes, I know some will think I’m jumping to conclusions and perhaps I am. But I know what I’ve witnessed in the past. This has a familiar ring. It infuriates me.

[Mikala43]

I'm going out on a limb and guessing what's for dinner is not the only issue.

[Cmoidd]

Originally Posted by homeonthelittlemountain

Yep. I'm sorry but your husband is an ass. He’s a grown man, he can damn well feed himself if he doesn’t like what you make. Enough of turning yourself into a pretzel to please him. This is ridiculous.

I’m not so sure this has much to do with food. I think he gets off on the control and manipulation. His behavior is abusive. I suspect he behaves this way in others areas of your marriage too. You are in a tough, tough place. You can’t leave him now with a baby coming. But if his behavior gets worse, see an attorney on the sly. Start making a get away plan.

Years ago I worked for the police department, counseling sexually assaulted women and children. From your description, your husband is in the beginning stages of abusive behavior. It won’t get any better.

The silent treatment, his blaming you for his bad mood, you fretting over a “good” time to talk to him, and so much more. Please take care of yourself and your children. I’m so sorry, I don’t think this will end well. Protect yourself.

Yes, I know some will think I’m jumping to conclusions and perhaps I am. But I know what I’ve witnessed in the past. This has a familiar ring. It infuriates me.

I hope not

[nobodysbusiness]

Originally Posted by Cmoidd

Thanks everyone for all your advice, so i had a chat with him, i was so nervous, and wasn't sure how to start, and he was in a good mood, so i was frustrated knowing I was going to ruin his day...

And Yep, it didn't go well... at 1st
So i told him things needs to change, from now on he needs to prepare his own meal if he doesn't want to eat the same than me
He said he doesn't like food, and doesn't know anything about it, i'm the one that know all about it so i should be the one do the cooking.
I told him i don't know much about food either, all i do is simple stuff
I offer to look at some recipes book to give him some ideas, but he doesn't want

I asked him to switch places for a week, he will be the one doing all the cooking to see how it goes, he refused straight away saying he doesn't want to do it he hates cooking, so i told him i don't like it either, why should i be the one in charge, why not him? i'm not his maid but his equal partner, he should be the one helping with the cooking not the other way around because with the pregnacy i'm really tired all the time, so that's would be nice if he could help

He got upset (as planned) saying all i do is shouting at him, he is always the one to be blamed for everything, and he shut down, took his laptop and went on it, that was the end of the talk for him.. I kept on for a little while but he just blanked me...
And was not talking to me anymore.

So i just went off for a couple of hours, when i got home i could hear him saying to our son FINALLY from upstairs
He came down and still didn't talk to me

So i start cooking (frankfurt sausages wrap in ham, with a homemade tomato sauce made with a bechamel sauce and tomato puree and some cheese)
After i put it in the oven and told him what i prepared i asked him if would like to eat what i was eating, he answered me in a rough tone NO
I then said, that's fine, then make your own arrangement for your dinner, i'm having this.

Maybe 10 min later, he came in the kitchen asking what was in the recipe, after explanation, he said, there nothing else to eat so i don't have the choice i'll have to eat it!
And ate it, and liked it, he wouldn't admit it but he did, he got 2 servings
And we all ate at the table

It's a 1st in a long time yeahh

He was a bit jealous of my son having nuggets for his supper, but it was going to be too much for him to try this, i'll need to start little by little with him, he knows tomorrow he going to have to try carrot and chicken with his pasta

So at the end, my husband is still upset at me for "forcing him" to eat and blaming him for everything, he is still really cold with me and won't talk to me but we're getting there!

Your husband's "silent treatment" is passive-aggressive. It is punishing. Very, very immature.

I'm glad you had a talk with him - not good that you were afraid to do so. How can you have an equal partnership with someone you're afraid to talk to?

Please get into couple's counseling, pronto.

[knitgirl]

Originally Posted by Cmoidd

Hi everyone,

My husband is a fussy eater, and so does is our son... he probably takes that from his daddy...

It’s becoming a nightmare, we always fight because of food 😭

He doesn’t like anything...
I’m French and love food, but he won’t try anything I make, he calls it “weird” food
when I ask him, what do you want to eat? He says Food! So I asked him, which kind of food? He says cooked food. I then says can you be more specific, and here the fight begins, he doesn’t know... I need to pull some kind of food from my hat, but whatever I propose he is either not in a mood for it or doesn’t like it... and then he is upset with me because I’m out of ideas,and he ends up just snacking...

I don’t know what to do with him... he is worst than a child!!!!

The worst is the evening, he doesn’t want to eat at the table, he wants something quick and easy to eat
So I usually make something like Porridge or toasted sandwiches with ham or hotdogs... but Mr is sick of it, and complaining I always cook the same, but in the same time he won’t eat anything!!! It’s hard enough it has to be something he can eat in the sofa

The problem is when I finally found something he likes, he then eats it all the time and gets sick of it!
He used to love wrap with lettuce and breaded chicken, now just seeing a wrap make him nauseous
He used to love spaghetti bolonese, so I did it twice a week, now he won’t eat it, same with omelette

Can you help me find food he might like, and can cook for him
He doesn’t like any kind of cheese, except melted on pizza
He doesn’t like any kind of vegetables, maybe lettuce but only if he has no choice
About potatoes he will only eat them if they are roasted in the oven or if it’s chips / French fries
He hates stew
He won’t eat pasta, except if it’s spaghetti
He can tolerate rice but not more than once a week and, when he will see it he will make this face and say “ewwww”
He is sick of toast too

Do you have any suggestions for me, i’m sick of fighting over food... and i’m 7 month and half pregnant, so I have something else to worry about than food!!!

Thanks

My suggestion: divorce. He sounds like a jacka$$.

[evening sun]

I am glad you talked to him about this, & that he ate what you had cooked, progress is progress. Keep working on getting the toddler to eat a variety of foods. Take care of yourself. Best wishes for a healthy delivery.