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Thanks everyone for all your advice, so i had a chat with him, i was so nervous, and wasn't sure how to start, and he was in a good mood, so i was frustrated knowing I was going to ruin his day...
And Yep, it didn't go well... at 1st
So i told him things needs to change, from now on he needs to prepare his own meal if he doesn't want to eat the same than me
He said he doesn't like food, and doesn't know anything about it, i'm the one that know all about it so i should be the one do the cooking.
I told him i don't know much about food either, all i do is simple stuff
I offer to look at some recipes book to give him some ideas, but he doesn't want
I asked him to switch places for a week, he will be the one doing all the cooking to see how it goes, he refused straight away saying he doesn't want to do it he hates cooking, so i told him i don't like it either, why should i be the one in charge, why not him? i'm not his maid but his equal partner, he should be the one helping with the cooking not the other way around because with the pregnacy i'm really tired all the time, so that's would be nice if he could help
He got upset (as planned) saying all i do is shouting at him, he is always the one to be blamed for everything, and he shut down, took his laptop and went on it, that was the end of the talk for him.. I kept on for a little while but he just blanked me...
And was not talking to me anymore.
So i just went off for a couple of hours, when i got home i could hear him saying to our son FINALLY from upstairs
He came down and still didn't talk to me
So i start cooking (frankfurt sausages wrap in ham, with a homemade tomato sauce made with a bechamel sauce and tomato puree and some cheese)
After i put it in the oven and told him what i prepared i asked him if would like to eat what i was eating, he answered me in a rough tone NO
I then said, that's fine, then make your own arrangement for your dinner, i'm having this.
Maybe 10 min later, he came in the kitchen asking what was in the recipe, after explanation, he said, there nothing else to eat so i don't have the choice i'll have to eat it!
And ate it, and liked it, he wouldn't admit it but he did, he got 2 servings
And we all ate at the table
It's a 1st in a long time yeahh
He was a bit jealous of my son having nuggets for his supper, but it was going to be too much for him to try this, i'll need to start little by little with him, he knows tomorrow he going to have to try carrot and chicken with his pasta
So at the end, my husband is still upset at me for "forcing him" to eat and blaming him for everything, he is still really cold with me and won't talk to me but we're getting there!
And why do you good women stay with such a persnickety goofball?????
if all you do in life is expact and complain and not appreciate....you are one miserable jerk..
appeasement is divorces best friend....... you clear the air and stick to your guns....no one woman is going to tolerate his b s .
next time he complains.....you smile and say you wanna eat...you fix it yourself you are done......and just cook for you.......if he starts acting like a cat in water.........tell him the only way you will cook for him now on is for him to make a specific list of what he will eat..............and if you cook it he doesn't get to complain..
lifes too short.....to try to please a walking hemmorrhoid....
Yep. I'm sorry but your husband is an ass. He’s a grown man, he can damn well feed himself if he doesn’t like what you make. Enough of turning yourself into a pretzel to please him. This is ridiculous.
I’m not so sure this has much to do with food. I think he gets off on the control and manipulation. His behavior is abusive. I suspect he behaves this way in others areas of your marriage too. You are in a tough, tough place. You can’t leave him now with a baby coming. But if his behavior gets worse, see an attorney on the sly. Start making a get away plan.
Years ago I worked for the police department, counseling sexually assaulted women and children. From your description, your husband is in the beginning stages of abusive behavior. It won’t get any better.
The silent treatment, his blaming you for his bad mood, you fretting over a “good” time to talk to him, and so much more. Please take care of yourself and your children. I’m so sorry, I don’t think this will end well. Protect yourself.
Yes, I know some will think I’m jumping to conclusions and perhaps I am. But I know what I’ve witnessed in the past. This has a familiar ring. It infuriates me.
I agree.
OP, please read this post very carefully and really think about.
You're husband is a brat. I can't believe you attempt catering to his demands. And even worse, you come in here and ask us to cater to him as well. LOL. I'd tell him to cook and serve for himself. After a month or so of that he'll be glad to eat whatever you cook.
Do you have any suggestions for me, i’m sick of fighting over food... and i’m 7 month and half pregnant, so I have something else to worry about than food!!!
Cmoidd, see all these responses telling you it is HIM and not you?
Believe it,.. concentrate on your health, and the health of the child you are carrying, not on the health of a big jerk who ate a giant bag of junk food, got sick and then blamed you.
See a lawyer, or at least seek a Counselor that will reaffirm what we are all telling you here.
In this day and age, there is just NO excuse for his juvenile and churlish behavior.
If my Dad had treated my Mom like he treats you, she would have beat him like a Piñata at the very least.. or smothered in his sleep with a feather pillow.
However, my Dad was a gentleman who respected my Mother and he taught his 4 sons to act accordingly.
You do realize that the silent treatment is considered a form of emotional abuse. I hope you see a marriage counselor or call a domestic abuse hotline and get some support and ideas on how you can deal with this. Blaming the victim of his/her abuse is a typical strategy to keep the victim off balance. Please look after yourself and your children.
Oh sweetie, please come live with me and cook just a couple of your lovely dinners every week! Your DH does not have the faintests idea how LUCKY he is to be married to you. And your son is learning fussiness from observing his dad.
Because of the extreme disfunctionality of your food relationship, I recommend immediate visits to a marriage counselor. You two aren’t communicating, and your husband is being unreasonable—and his fussiness is his way of exerting power in your relationship.
Even if he doesn’t go, you visit a counselor. You need to learn strategies to allow you to cope. If you have to, tell DH that your marriage depends on working this out. He is being a spoiled child, and neither of you communicates well, IMO. So, go find help, and good luck.
I wonder if he would pick out some recipes that you could try? Surely he can find something online that looks good to him.
So every week have one day salad (maybe a cobb?), one day beef, one day chicken, one day pork, one day soup/sandwiches, and one day takeout. Or breakfast for supper. Or build your own stuffed baked potato.
I can relate to your husband because I am very much the same way when it comes to food. Food has never been a "big deal" with me. I am happy to eat a sandwich for dinner or snack. When I was much younger I hoped that someone would invent a meal replacement pill so I could just take a pill and not be bothered with eating because it was not something I particularly enjoyed or felt any great value in other than keeping me from feeling hungry.
My advice is to leave your husband alone and let him eat what he wants, the way that he wants. If food is important to you (which apparently, it is), then made food to please yourself.
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