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Oh, I'd certainly never get married again. Is that what you meant?
I got married pretty young. Things like this just weren't on my radar or really anyone's. Nobody was talking about this back then.
But my advice is still good advice even if I wasn't in a position to be able to take advantage of it myself.
Like you, I got married young and don’t plan to do it again. But what I meant was—and you are too intelligent not to know it—is that men should stop complaining. They should accept that if they don’t “stand up to their wives”, whatever that means to them, that’s on them. They are responsible for their choices and their behavior. No woman is castrating them. If men want to go their own way, they should just go. Seeing all this woman-bashing on here from otherwise intelligent men is just really disappointing. It really is. It’s beneath YOU, I know that from reading many of your other posts.
like you, i got married young and don’t plan to do it again. But what i meant was—and you are too intelligent not to know it—is that men should stop complaining. They should accept that if they don’t “stand up to their wives”, whatever that means to them, that’s on them. They are responsible for their choices and their behavior. No woman is castrating them. if men want to go their own way, they should just go. seeing all this woman-bashing on here from otherwise intelligent men is just really disappointing. It really is. It’s beneath you, i know that from reading many of your other posts.
Have you sworn off sex or just the romantic relationship entanglements?
I actively swore off relationships, after seeing what happened to people who got into them, and lost all interest in sex as a side effect, possibly unintended. Because in exchange for whatever sex I'll gain from a relationship, I know I'll be required to give up a lot more than I'm willing to. It's not worth it in the slightest.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 01-29-2018 at 07:17 PM..
This thread is considered "woman bashing"?...lol..are you sure?...when did women become so sensitive?
It's just a bunch of sad incels who couldn't get married if their life depended on it...hating on that which they cannot attain and wrapping it up in pseudo pysch and anecdotal negative stereotypes.
Wow! I'm not on the Internet Fri.-Sun. and I'm surprised this thread grew to 16 pages!
As far as the husband using the excuse of his wife not wanting to go to get out of going to L.A. for a trip, that's way, way off target. His wife, 2X, has allowed him to go to Norway for a Kubb tournament, and join his son on a trip to Guatemala. He's a true adventurer. His brother retired in Thailand and would love to go spend a winter there, instead of their usual snowbirding spots along the Colorado River. He's read of my repeated journeys for long weekends in Tijuana, (note my username), longs to go there, and I offered to be a tour guide for them in TJ, but you'll never get his wife to step foot in Mexico, or get on a plane and cross the Atlantic/Pacific or the Caribbean. My guess: she won't admit she has a fear of flying!
Someone pointed out that most massages result in a happy ending. The massage business was all but devastated during the last Great Recession, and having done massage for 30-40 years (I'm 67, to be 68 in April), having experienced past recessions, and the huge drop off in business during those recessions, I never saw anything like the aftermath of this last Great Recession. It's almost like the mentality of the aftermath of the Great Depression, getting people comfortable enough to spend money for a massage. Even lowering my prices to $40 had no impact at all in my business. I've known massage therapists in town here who are lucky to get one call a week!
And the poster claims that 6% of massages don't end in a happy ending. That's very true! If you want any repeat business, it's all but a must.
But, on the other hand, I've gotten clients who have no interest in a happy ending. When I get a massage I have no interest in a happy ending.
Like you, I got married young and don’t plan to do it again. But what I meant was—and you are too intelligent not to know it—is that men should stop complaining. They should accept that if they don’t “stand up to their wives”, whatever that means to them, that’s on them. They are responsible for their choices and their behavior. No woman is castrating them. If men want to go their own way, they should just go. Seeing all this woman-bashing on here from otherwise intelligent men is just really disappointing. It really is. It’s beneath YOU, I know that from reading many of your other posts.
Agreed. Men should stop complaining, full stop. I hope I didn't come off as bashing. I love women. But a lot of them are neurotic and difficult and then of course I was generalizing as well. #notallwomen
There are a lot of factors in the perpetual war between the sexes. It would probably be easier, than pointing out that women benefit disproportionately from marriage, to just say the "institution of marriage" itself is the primary culprit - but in reality it is both the cause of a lot of issues as well as a *symptom* of a lot of issues, many of which circle back to women
1. the societal and cultural expectations around marriage are partly to blame. Women have always fetishized the marital relationship. Everything from wildly romantic fantasies about courtship to the obsessive planning of "the big day" and all the silly ceremonial rituals leading up to it...men don't do this - the Bachelor Party..that's it. And thats passe now. Most men don't even do one. Literally nothing left in marriage for men. No dowry, no status, no societal boon....its all just been eroded over time.
2. popular culture has a field day with marriage because its very much a social relationship. Who's hitched, who's on the skids, who's cheating, who's not. It creates a lot of anxiety. (per the comment above about neuroticism)
3. there is a lot of social engineering related to marriage by SJWs. Particularly the "deconstructionist" attacks on the meaning of marriage and the political and social changes they are striving for. Again this creates anxiety and friction in what would otherwise be a more mundane facet of human social experience - its very disruptive to normal gender relations when "society" reinforces that there are no norms, or that norms are harmful. When a critical mass of people are confused or become cynical, perhaps by the lack of structure or rational meaning in institutions....It usually means that institution or norm is basically doomed.
4. The government lags society and always makes things worse. Particularly lately. Just a total cluster. Now this latest alimony tax penalty against divorced men and gift to divorced women is really going to put the nail in the coffin of marriage. What clearer sign could you send to men that marriage is a huge financial risk than through the tax code, with an unmistakable "divorce incentive" for women? It might as well be titled the "Ditch your husband, keep the house and kids, and get a tax-free check" clause.
On a slight tangent does it annoy anyone else to hear one of a married couple say that they married their best friend? Or when people are getting married, "today I'm marrying my best friend"?
I find it just has a hollow phoniness to it. I would love to see a longitudinal study to see the divorce rates on people that say this crap. I bet its astronomical.
On a slight tangent does it annoy anyone else to hear one of a married couple say that they married their best friend? Or when people are getting married, "today I'm marrying my best friend"?
I find it just has a hollow phoniness to it. I would love to see a longitudinal study to see the divorce rates on people that say this crap. I bet its astronomical.
Props to you for catching it . It very much annoys me indeed. Because it's not only phony, it's false. A spouse and a best friend cannot be the same person. These roles are very different, altough they do overlap a little. A friend is about shared interests. A spouse is about "moving on to the next life stage" .
Consider how it was in the 50's. The husband had a best friend in his Elks Lodge, who he swapped stories with. The wife had a best friend in her knitting circle, who she confided her personal secrets to. And at home, they were almost like business partners in maintaining a household, and later, raising a family. The roles of "spouse" and "best friend" were distinct, not conflated like today.
Think about it: What would happen if you came home stumbling drunk at 2:00 AM? (provided that you didn't drive) An actual best friend would hand you a Gatorade, make sure you don't break anything while stumbling to the bed, and grumble a little. A romantic partner/spouse would yell at you about being "irresponsible", berate you about how "they expected better things from you", and give you silent treatment for days.
Wow! I'm not on the Internet Fri.-Sun. and I'm surprised this thread grew to 16 pages!
As far as the husband using the excuse of his wife not wanting to go to get out of going to L.A. for a trip, that's way, way off target. His wife, 2X, has allowed him to go to Norway for a Kubb tournament, and join his son on a trip to Guatemala. He's a true adventurer. His brother retired in Thailand and would love to go spend a winter there, instead of their usual snowbirding spots along the Colorado River. He's read of my repeated journeys for long weekends in Tijuana, (note my username), longs to go there, and I offered to be a tour guide for them in TJ, but you'll never get his wife to step foot in Mexico, or get on a plane and cross the Atlantic/Pacific or the Caribbean. My guess: she won't admit she has a fear of flying!
Someone pointed out that most massages result in a happy ending. The massage business was all but devastated during the last Great Recession, and having done massage for 30-40 years (I'm 67, to be 68 in April), having experienced past recessions, and the huge drop off in business during those recessions, I never saw anything like the aftermath of this last Great Recession. It's almost like the mentality of the aftermath of the Great Depression, getting people comfortable enough to spend money for a massage. Even lowering my prices to $40 had no impact at all in my business. I've known massage therapists in town here who are lucky to get one call a week!
And the poster claims that 6% of massages don't end in a happy ending. That's very true! If you want any repeat business, it's all but a must.
But, on the other hand, I've gotten clients who have no interest in a happy ending. When I get a massage I have no interest in a happy ending.
I'm starting to think these 16 pages are all centered around trying to evade the obvious answer here. Getting the occasional handy from a massage therapist is as gay as this guy is willing to get. He used his wife as an excuse, but you saw through it. Either force the awkward conversation and risk losing his business, or accept his transparent excuse for what it is.
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. It very much annoys me indeed. Because it's not only phony, it's false. A spouse and a best friend cannot be the same person. These roles are very different, altough they do overlap a little. A friend is about shared interests. A spouse is about "moving on to the next life stage" 
.