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I have been plunged back into sorrow and heartbreak today. My beloved American Eskimo dog had TBPTS. He suffered a stroke over the weekend and his hind quarters went. He's been so miserable the past couple of days that it was also a relief to see him go to sleep and relax. I only had him 5 years but he was the best dog on earth. Stuck to me like glue. He brought me such joy in those 5 years.
Sorry to hear of your sorrow Tami. As CA posted, sometimes disappointments seem to build up over the years and I had so many I had to start eliminating some of them. The pets were one of the disappointments I eliminated along with a few others.
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
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Oh, Tami...I'm so sorry. Losing a pet is really hard, and making the decision to put them to sleep is really difficult. Right after Bob died, our oldest Yorkie developed kidney disease. I tried to manage it, but with going back and forth to Colorado trying to clean out and sell my house, I really had no choice but to put her down. She was almost 14, but it still broke my heart. Hugs to you...{{{}}}
Tami....I'm so sorry about your dog. Sorry you lost your special friend and faithful companion. Sorry you had to go through another big loss...I cried off and on for a week after my cat died last month. Even felt paralyzed with grief for awhile..I'm so sorry about your dog. How are you doing now? Sending you a BIG HUG...Wish I could do more to help.
Hi everyone. You have no idea how much your words of comfort mean to me. Yes, you do as a matter of fact. Thanks so much.
I have two birds left, tn. Not up to the caliber of Mickey in companionship but they love me. Or should I say they depend on me.
No more dogs. Mickey was the first dog I've had in over almost 30 years and I can't do it again. Losing that unconditional love is too much to bear. I'll go back to cats someday. They could care less.
Hi everyone. You have no idea how much your words of comfort mean to me. Yes, you do as a matter of fact. Thanks so much.
I have two birds left, tn. Not up to the caliber of Mickey in companionship but they love me. Or should I say they depend on me.
No more dogs. Mickey was the first dog I've had in over almost 30 years and I can't do it again. Losing that unconditional love is too much to bear. I'll go back to cats someday. They could care less.
I hear ya tami. I have 2 cats, or should I say they let me live here!
Maggie, the MinPin, is diabetic, has been for 2 years, but doing good. Scooter, the weiner, is the love of my life. If I lose either one of them, I would also have to reconsider owning another dog. The loss, like you said, is just too much to bear.
Grief isn't limited to the death of loved ones...Any disappointment in life can lead to a sense of loss. Don't you think?..For instance I remember how sad my sons felt when their dad (my first husband) had to cancel seeing them on a weekend...I felt sad when my parents decided to buy a new house in a neighboring town because this meant I wouldn't live right down the street from my grandma anymore. And I had to say "goodbye" to my longtime friends in the neighborhood and my friends in school...If we "pin" our hopes on getting a certain job (or a job promotion) and it doesn't "come through" for us of course we're going to be disappointed...Society seems to expect us to "roll with the punches" and get over things fast! And we don't want to be viewed as a "baby" who can't cope with life very well. So we act like things don't bother us very much and keep moving on without taking time to grieve over our disappointments in life. Or our multitude of losses. (Big and small.)...And they can really start to "add-up" over time. Don't you think?.. We can end-up with layers and layers of "unprocessed grief" inside of us. With no understanding about why we've become unhappy or "negative" (or angry) so much of the time.. How do you feel about all of it? Thanks.
Yes! 17 years ago I was young and trim and in shape ~ at least, I thought I was. Because I got hit off the radar with a heart bypass. I didn't recover all the well and have never been the same since. To this day I mourn the loss of my OLD "me". The following year I lost my daughter and that shock did even further damage. It was too much in too short a time. Yes, I still mourn. But I was also determined to keep enjoying life to my best effort.
I go thru a brief grieving process everytime my treasured roommate/friend leaves for his job on his bicycle, thinking this may be the last time I'll ever see him. He lost his car during this grinding recession, and his only mode of transportation now is his bicycle, and he oftentimes bicycles up to 10 miles one way.
I know how dangerous it is to ride a bicycle in this town, read of the bicycle deaths in the paper, from time to time, and I pray it doesn't happen to him! But I just can't help it, the grieving over something that could potentially happen!
I work a nightshift, sleep during the day, and when I come downstairs around 6pm and hear the TV on and the lights on, I'm exhiliarted each and every time to know he survived one more bike trip in this city!
Grief isn't limited to the death of loved ones...Any disappointment in life can lead to a sense of loss. Don't you think?..For instance I remember how sad my sons felt when their dad (my first husband) had to cancel seeing them on a weekend...I felt sad when my parents decided to buy a new house in a neighboring town because this meant I wouldn't live right down the street from my grandma anymore. And I had to say "goodbye" to my longtime friends in the neighborhood and my friends in school...If we "pin" our hopes on getting a certain job (or a job promotion) and it doesn't "come through" for us of course we're going to be disappointed...Society seems to expect us to "roll with the punches" and get over things fast! And we don't want to be viewed as a "baby" who can't cope with life very well. So we act like things don't bother us very much and keep moving on without taking time to grieve over our disappointments in life. Or our multitude of losses. (Big and small.)...And they can really start to "add-up" over time. Don't you think?.. We can end-up with layers and layers of "unprocessed grief" inside of us. With no understanding about why we've become unhappy or "negative" (or angry) so much of the time.. How do you feel about all of it? Thanks.
This is how some people explode one day. They let things build up and build up and never deal with them until one day, they are full and they just lose it. Could be a simple yelling, kicking at the wall kind of deal all the way to scenarios even worse.
It's healthy to be allowed to grieve a loss of any sort or disappointment and get it out of your system, learn from it and move on. It is not healthy to just pretend it didn't bother you.
This is how some people explode one day. They let things build up and build up and never deal with them until one day, they are full and they just lose it. Could be a simple yelling, kicking at the wall kind of deal all the way to scenarios even worse.
It's healthy to be allowed to grieve a loss of any sort or disappointment and get it out of your system, learn from it and move on. It is not healthy to just pretend it didn't bother you.
So true.
I have struggled for years , not understanding why I abused alcohol/drugs, I have all these friends with advanced degrees who are pillars of the community and I just can't seem to "make it" in life and just plain refused to grow up.
I found myself unemployed last year and just crying all the time. I mean all the time for about the entire month of August and into Sept. I never knew why I was grieving so , except that I just felt as if someone died ... but that was not the case. After I wailed like a baby to this song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CeSaU2k1FLw ) for about three days , I realized - my entire 'adult' life I've been grieving the loss of my childhood , my innocence. The lines in this song , "let me go " conjured up images of myself speaking with the "6 year old me" , and that 6 y.o. saying , " let me go ". How do we change from what we are as children ( innocent, trusting, excited about life ) to the scared and anxiety ridden heaps of insecurity we become as adults ?
I can't say things have gotten much better, but they have a little. I'm working now but at the wage I made ten years ago , a huge leap backward when trying to raise 3 kids. I still battle depression but I'm sober and at the end of every day I can take pride in the fact I'm doing it clean.
Life is a series of constant losses and the older one gets ( in my experience ) the fewer one really gains much of anything. The glory days of youth are gone and mid life crisis mode has set in.
I struggle a lot lately with envy ; of others ability to seemingly skate through life , get all the breaks , and make all the right decisions while keeping their chin up , staying positive and just generally having success and a charmed life - while I struggle just to pay my bills and get up everyday and go do it all again for nothing.
I guess I posted here to vent , but also to agree that there are so many forms of grief it can be overwhelming. I hope you all find the peace and solace you need in this existence.
Oh my, grubby. I am sorry to hear of your situation but very glad to hear you are sober and straight now. THAT is a major accomplishment.
I'm sorry but I can not relate much. I have never been so enivious of other's lives that it debilitates my own life. I usually just swear out loud and roll my eyes and shrug it off. There are many people I grew up with that are dead so I figure I am lucky to have lived this long even though at times (most, really) it's been tough. Tough to me would be a great life to someone else though.
I wish you peace.
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