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My opinion only, but I don't view Legacy as the place for long involved writings and definitely not for a place for any Thanks for other things.
When you see some addressed to certain mourners, it's usually because the writers only knew those family members.
To solve your dilemma, you might simply address your words to the one you knew the best and " family"...
I.E. "Mary & family" or, the closest...for instance wife, mother or parents and family.
If you want to issue thanks for being included, I would do it with a personal hand written note or card or in person.
This is based on your last post, which, I admit, is a little confusing to me, so maybe my reply isn't helpful.
Old Cold,
I'd be worried about you if my post weren't confusing This is a highly unusual circumstance. NOTHING is easy or straightforward. I've had 5 close family members die and know how to respond to anything about of them.
Legacy can have thanks. Many who have posted have expressed thanks - part of my dilemma, as I'm included in their thanks too.
I know all the family members. Perhaps it would make it easier for you to understand if part of what the Obit state's is the person lost lived the last 25+ years about 2,000 miles from where the surviving family put the announcement in their local newspaper. But, they also decided to publish it in the paper 2,000 miles away.
They don't know who was involved with the person's care as I made as those decisions as medical guardian.
I had to laugh with your "Mary & family," example as that is the mother's first name. That is the one thing I would NOT write to this mother in this situation.
Your intentions are good and I thank you for trying to help. Don't try to figure this out.... it's too screwy.............
MSR...I'm sorry. I'm not an expert when it comes to legacies. Please let us know what you decided to do...I'm anxious to hear how your procedure went...I've been thinking about you and wishing you the best.
Well I thought you wanted a challenging project.... LOL
The procedure itself went well. I was sedated, but conscious. My MD said not to even think we'd see any changes for at least a week. I'm not at a week yet. He either mixed more into what got injected or gave me more than he planned or put a tad of something else in at the end. I know as the tech was ready to stop and he said "Give me the other one (referring to a pre-drawn syringe)." Something about what he injected last - well he and I are going to have to chat about that. I have varying theories of what he put in there given what happened. Nothing bad, just either I was too swollen to be able to handle anymore or something else given what I felt.
How's that for clear?
I'll simply say I had a difficult day yesterday as there are some changes going on. Given that I can't be more precise, I really don't know what they are. Literally, time will tell.
Originally, I was suppose to go back for a visit two weeks after the procedure. He made it three weeks.
I'll say he was blown away looking at my incision from years ago. I really don't want to write about that here as it brought far more back to me than I thought.
IF this first one allows me to do anything more, decrease any significant symptoms etc., then round 2 will be after he sees me at that appt. in about 3 weeks.
I know you have a lot going on too, CA, and trying to feel better for yourself. You have every right to miss your three guys!
Just don't stop trying to progress. Answers come at their own speed. I know you didn't want to do a group or other. Some books are good.
Well I thought you wanted a challenging project.... LOL
The procedure itself went well. I was sedated, but conscious. My MD said not to even think we'd see any changes for at least a week. I'm not at a week yet. He either mixed more into what got injected or gave me more than he planned or put a tad of something else in at the end. I know as the tech was ready to stop and he said "Give me the other one (referring to a pre-drawn syringe)." Something about what he injected last - well he and I are going to have to chat about that. I have varying theories of what he put in there given what happened. Nothing bad, just either I was too swollen to be able to handle anymore or something else given what I felt.
How's that for clear?
I'll simply say I had a difficult day yesterday as there are some changes going on. Given that I can't be more precise, I really don't know what they are. Literally, time will tell.
Originally, I was suppose to go back for a visit two weeks after the procedure. He made it three weeks.
I'll say he was blown away looking at my incision from years ago. I really don't want to write about that here as it brought far more back to me than I thought.
IF this first one allows me to do anything more, decrease any significant symptoms etc., then round 2 will be after he sees me at that appt. in about 3 weeks.
I know you have a lot going on too, CA, and trying to feel better for yourself. You have every right to miss your three guys!
Just don't stop trying to progress. Answers come at their own speed. I know you didn't want to do a group or other. Some books are good.
Mostly hang in there and stay hydrated
MSR
MSR...You sound "good" despite everything you've been through and this makes me happy...But, I know you have a lot on your plate right now. (Physically and emotionally.)...I do miss my guys! Life still seems blah and lackluster without them. Oh well...I have to find ways to make myself happy without them...You know how that goes! It's not always easy...I'm so sorry you lost Crick and other special people in your life.
Thought I'd bring this thread back up so "newbies" can see how much people have changed in the almost 3 years I have been in this terrible club.
I don't decorate anymore. Too much work for nobody to see. I might go out and get some Chinese or maybe a ham steak with the fixin' s. I'll decide the week of. I'm not depressed. I'm not in utter pain anymore. I am not even trying to "block out" the holiday spirit this year. It pleases me now to wish people Merry Chistmas or Happy Holidays. Far, far cry from last year or even a couple of weeks ago. I deliberately decided to stop making myself sad at this season. Just go with the flow. It makes me happy to smile now.
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
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This is my 6th holiday without my husband. He died in October 2009 so my first holidays were just a month later. It was just me and my 19 year old son. No family travelled to see us, no one thought about how lonely and hurt and heartbroken we might be. I think they just didn't know what to do, so instead, they inundated us with gifts. Then, my husband's sister and I decided we'd split the holidays ~~ one at her house in Denver, one at mine in Tucson. I've enjoyed that as I needed to be with family during the Holidays. So, we have done it that way until this year. She and her husband came for Thanksgiving, but they decided to go to Maui for Christmas. I'm good with that, so I guess I've come a long way from our first lonely holiday in 2009. I'm just bummed I don't fit in her suitcase!
This year, I have decided to do something I've never done before, and that is to take a road trip to Memphis to spend Christmas with my oldest daughter and her family. Bob and I took road trips all the time, but he drove. I'm taking my son with me, so I will have a travelling companion. Even if I hadn't decided to go to Memphis, I'd be okay having Christmas at home without my sil. I turned a corner last Christmas and actually loved hosting Christmas dinner, gifts, decorating, and having family with me. I wasn't glum, or melancholy as in holidays past. I decorated this year, and will have the tree and lights on a timer. After we get home, my son and I will have our own Christmas sharing gifts and having "Christmas" dinner on New Year's Eve.
It does get better. There's always that empty place at the table, but now we toast it and have a moment of silence to honor our dad and husband...
Tami and Marcy...I'm glad the holidays are easier for you this year. I had a great time on Thanksgiving with my friends. But then, I found my friend Willie nearly dead in his house the day after Thanksgiving. What a shocker!...Now that Willie is doing better, I want to get back in the holiday spirit. I hope Willie can have the feeding tube removed and get back on his feet after he spends time in rehab.
Tamiz, Marcy and CArizona. I've read several of your posts over the years, and I want you to know what an inspiration you are to me. I have not lost a husband or child, but have lost parents and other close friends and family. It gives me comfort knowing that you all have found your way and are living your lives. I wish each of you and everyone on this forum a peaceful holiday season. You are not alone.
Tamiz, Marcy and CArizona. I've read several of your posts over the years, and I want you to know what an inspiration you are to me. I have not lost a husband or child, but have lost parents and other close friends and family. It gives me comfort knowing that you all have found your way and are living your lives. I wish each of you and everyone on this forum a peaceful holiday season. You are not alone.
*Hugs*
Thank you so much, trobes. After the pain subsided all I wanted to do was try to help others cope with their pain. I was also being a little selfish since trying to help others helped me too. I am so happy to hear you have been reading us for years and can see the difference in us. That is why I think reading back of old threads is so important. I did that before I made my first post here although there were not nearly as many threads! I want to say there were maybe 2 pages of threads back then. They are filled with heartbreak and anguish.
Sorry you are an orphan too but glad you have not experienced the loss of a spouse or child. I'm so glad that you can see that the light at the end of the tunnel is a true thing, if you should need to join this wretched club. Thank you so much for letting us know that we have helped others that we don't even know about.
Tamiz, Marcy and CArizona. I've read several of your posts over the years, and I want you to know what an inspiration you are to me. I have not lost a husband or child, but have lost parents and other close friends and family. It gives me comfort knowing that you all have found your way and are living your lives. I wish each of you and everyone on this forum a peaceful holiday season. You are not alone.
*Hugs*
Trobesmom...Thanks for the kind words. I'm sorry you lost your parents and other loved ones.. I hope you find some joy and happiness over the holidays. I'm always on the lookout for "joy!" Bring it on! Nice to have some balance.
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This is a highly unusual circumstance. NOTHING is easy or straightforward. I've had 5 close family members die and know how to respond to anything about of them.
Don't try to figure this out.... it's too screwy.............
I'm Hopeful, but It's Too Early
I have varying theories of what he put in there given what happened. Nothing bad, just either I was too swollen to be able to handle anymore or something else given what I felt.
