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Molly I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. I was widowed almost 12 years ago at 55 years old and as awful as it is, especially the first holidays without him, I survived and slowly, very slowly, life continued in the new normal.
Like Kathryn said be good to yourself first and foremost. After the shock your emotions will be all over the place. I would feel like I was doing okay but then I would have to talk to the VA and Social Security to notify them of my husband's death and I would get so choked up I couldn't even talk.
My thoughts will be with you.
Thank you. I think we had a few discussions a couple of years ago about Tallahassee because you were thinking of moving there?
I have things to do that seem insurmountable at this time. Call Social Security. Pick up his ashes. Cancel the hotel reservations I made for our June trip to Michigan to visit his family. Cancel his dental appointment. File his will at the courthouse.
I had to call and cancel his health insurance this week. The poor agent had to deal with a sobbing crazy woman.
I can't even think about future holidays. Tomorrow (Tuesday) is the one week anniversary of his death. Friday (May 13) would have been his 52 birthday. June 7 is our wedding anniversary.
Very sad to hear about your great husband Mike.
Have you had a funeral yet?
As an aside you mentioning your mother having a heart attack.
When all the commotion is over may be a good idea for YOU to do a heart screen? Are heart attacks common in your family?
I learned the hard way about heart disease by having a heart attack at 61. Genetics play a huge part.
Anyway get a stress test done and see how you come out.
An EKG alone does not cut it!
Please feel free to share your favorite memories here, we would love to hear about them.
Please do, Molly; we would love to hear stories about you and your husband. For me at least, it helps me so much to talk about him. Though, it is different for everyone; I don't ever want him to become a faded part of my past--I think that is what saddens me the most when I think of the long future I likely have ahead of me. So it helps me to talk about him with others and keep his memory alive and fresh in my mind (I'm pretty sure I talk about him the most here though because like I said I don't have very many close friends at all). For instance, how did you guys meet? I always love sharing that story about my husband and I. So, I hope that in time you will feel able to talk about things like that.
When you talked about moving your husband's truck, I thought about the truck that my husband had. I ended up giving it away to my brother-in-law. He went in there and cleaned everything out. He found a precious gift my husband was going to give me for Christmas: a stuffed penguin doll and along with it, a pink bow he was going to sew into her head--I know, it sounds strange but: we had an idea for a penguin cartoon for kids that we were working on. In our made-up penguin world, the girl penguins all were born with different colored bows in their head; that's how you can tell the girls from the boys. So my beloved was going to make one of our penguin characters for me for Christmas.
People are telling me to take care of myself. And to ask for what I need.
Waking up in the morning and checking in here is a big part of my new routine. I said it before, but this connection is very, very important to me.
So, I am asking a random group of internet strangers to PLEASE, if you have the time and inclination, keep posting messages of hope and encouragement here, and sharing your stories. It means the world to me.
A week ago, I couldn't imagine pleading like this. But here I am. And I will continue to share my journey so maybe it will help others if/when they find themselves where I am.
Hi,
Just wanted to post and say Hi. I am so sorry to read about your loss - very tragic and struck a chord as I'm the same age as your husband. Please continue to share - I checked Kathryn's thread every single day when she lost her husband, just to make sure she was still hanging in there. I want to go on this journey with you too.
Love from a random internet stranger xxx
People are telling me to take care of myself. And to ask for what I need.
Waking up in the morning and checking in here is a big part of my new routine. I said it before, but this connection is very, very important to me.
So, I am asking a random group of internet strangers to PLEASE, if you have the time and inclination, keep posting messages of hope and encouragement here, and sharing your stories. It means the world to me.
A week ago, I couldn't imagine pleading like this. But here I am. And I will continue to share my journey so maybe it will help others if/when they find themselves where I am.
Thank you all so much.
I'm so glad you started this thread. It will be good for you. When I experienced loss the idle time was the killer, I tried to keep busy and maybe those tasks you are dreading will be what works for you as it did for me.
But again I encourage you to stay active this thread and perhaps share memories of your husband when you are up to it. But talking helps, perhaps talking with strangers is easier and we are here for you.
Hi,
Just wanted to post and say Hi. I am so sorry to read about your loss - very tragic and struck a chord as I'm the same age as your husband. Please continue to share - I checked Kathryn's thread every single day when she lost her husband, just to make sure she was still hanging in there. I want to go on this journey with you too.
Love from a random internet stranger xxx
Thank you so much. I also followed Kathryn's thread when she lost her husband. I remember thinking at the time how amazed I was at how well she handled everything. I actually remember telling my husband about it, and even joked that he better not die before me because there was NO WAY I could handle it.
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