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Old 05-12-2012, 10:18 AM
 
672 posts, read 1,870,072 times
Reputation: 1176

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Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonborn View Post
Thanks

I am going to go for gender reassignment! Baby steps though, but I'm going for it. At least maybe I'll get to enjoy my mid-late 30's and 40's as I was meant to. Can't wait to start buying shoes ))
I am so happy for you. I just read this whole thread this morning and I am literally misty-eyed at the fact that you started this thread without a direction or even an idea of what to do and now you have a plan to be the person you are.

 
Old 05-12-2012, 05:11 PM
 
5,546 posts, read 8,872,745 times
Reputation: 2780
I just have to ask one question and most likely I'll get slammed for this. I don't recall if you've discussed this in therapy or not. If not, I would suggest you talk with a trusted therapist before undertaking a radical step.

You may ask why. Well, it's important and I won't get into the whys. I'd just like to know that you're making this decision on firm ground. I see a therapist myself and would never dream of making a major change unless I'd consulted with her.

For the record, I lived in the SF Bay Area so I am somewhat familiar with things like this. Ok, I looked over the thread and see you discussed it with someone in SMS? (sorry, not familiar) and someone in Miami. As long as they don't stand to profit from this, I say go for it! You seem pretty determined but just because you change genders you should realize life will bring the same problems. I will never forget the transgender woman named X who shot herself on the bridge. Make sure of your decision. Best wishes.

Oh, and before anyone has a fit with me, let it be known that I've known people who have changed sexes and it ain't always an easy road.

Last edited by mistygrl092; 05-12-2012 at 05:24 PM..
 
Old 05-12-2012, 06:35 PM
 
Location: Beautiful hills
248 posts, read 412,602 times
Reputation: 506
Thanks, mistygrl092
We are trying to provide online support and you come and p.. ummm... rain on our parade

Anyone making such decisions in their 30's are on solid ground. I, personally, believe this is the age when one's personality is completely formed. A person knows what they want, who they want and what they are willing (or not) to compromise on. So as far as age goes, I am not worried about dragonborn making a "mistake".
He is ready for a change.

And nobody said it is going to be an easy road. On the contrary.
Maybe read the whole thread (before posting) next time?
I agree with you that therapy is important.
In fact, it is required by law, here in the US, to live as the opposite gender and be in therapy for one year before undergoing any corrective surgery.

As for poor lady who shot herself... you just had to bring her up, huh?
How many straight people, without any sexuality or gender issues, kill themselves every year? Should we assume it is really difficult living as a straight person?
I am sure there were other issues, other than just being a TG, that caused this unfortunate woman to commit suicide. Let's just not go there.
Now is not the time and here is not the place.
 
Old 05-12-2012, 08:09 PM
 
16,056 posts, read 20,687,874 times
Reputation: 26356
Most responsible therapist and surgeons require psych testing and counseling. Reassignment is a process...a reputable clinic for these issues will be helpful There may be areas close to you that can help guide you, and provide you w/ resources and contacts. Try your phone book for listings of national organizations, our phone book has them listed in the first couple of pages. Also, most state have the 211 phone number implemented. Call 211 and ask for an organization that deals w/ your issues of sexual identity a"s well as your living situation concerns....the operators should be able to provide you w/ contacts. Also, that organization that is helping teens, "It Gets Better" should be online.
Good luck to you. Also, thanks for keeping up on this thread, there undoubtedly is someone else out there going through similar circumstances....you have probably helped w/ you open discussion. And, thanks to the supportive strangers who responded w/ kindness and support....
 
Old 05-12-2012, 09:54 PM
 
Location: In a state of denial
1,289 posts, read 2,727,806 times
Reputation: 942
good luck Dragonborn we are all rooting for you!
 
Old 05-12-2012, 11:37 PM
 
Location: Beautiful hills
248 posts, read 412,602 times
Reputation: 506
Yes, we are
And I would love to go shoe shopping with you (if I am ever in your area).
Funny, you mentioned shoes right after I finished watching "Kinky boots"
 
Old 05-14-2012, 02:11 AM
 
14,155 posts, read 26,635,880 times
Reputation: 23387
I think OP could genuinely qualify for disability at this point for anxiety and depression. I don't say that easily, as I see so many people get comfortable on disability with no more depression/anxiety than any working person with issues, but this is beyond something that a person can easily cope with.
One of my co-workers transitioned. We knew her as Mary, and she was always kinda butchy, but when she started hormones, she sent an email around stating that she was transitioning to he and will now be known as "Joe." I saw him the other night and didn't recognize him and we smiled at each other. It was a first, even in my tolerant workplace.
I have seen people go through transition up to the point of genital surgery, which they do not have, either because of expense, or because they don't find it critical.
As for deciding if one is a gay or straight or in-between person with transition, I'd say forget about the labels. See who you are attracted to and if that person is drawn to you. Maybe OP is bisexual regardless of gender, who knows?
I suggest if OP lives anywhere in the Bible Belt, to get on the nearest bus and get outta town. Best wishes.
 
Old 05-14-2012, 09:04 AM
 
15,246 posts, read 17,442,916 times
Reputation: 25475
Congratulations, Dragonborn! I hope just seeing the idea in writing has eased your burden somewhat. Please keep us posted on things. We care about you.
 
Old 05-14-2012, 09:28 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,684,046 times
Reputation: 3054
Quote:
Originally Posted by brightdoglover View Post
I think OP could genuinely qualify for disability at this point for anxiety and depression. I don't say that easily, as I see so many people get comfortable on disability with no more depression/anxiety than any working person with issues, but this is beyond something that a person can easily cope with.
One of my co-workers transitioned. We knew her as Mary, and she was always kinda butchy, but when she started hormones, she sent an email around stating that she was transitioning to he and will now be known as "Joe." I saw him the other night and didn't recognize him and we smiled at each other. It was a first, even in my tolerant workplace.
I have seen people go through transition up to the point of genital surgery, which they do not have, either because of expense, or because they don't find it critical.
As for deciding if one is a gay or straight or in-between person with transition, I'd say forget about the labels. See who you are attracted to and if that person is drawn to you. Maybe OP is bisexual regardless of gender, who knows?
I suggest if OP lives anywhere in the Bible Belt, to get on the nearest bus and get outta town. Best wishes.

All,

Thanks for the advice and kind words. I don't want to flood this thread by replying to each post, so I'll keep it here.

I've decided what I'm going to do, but a lot of that (and everything else) hinges on me being able to find work and move back to South FL; a culture that I was more used to and which became home to me. If that doesn't happen, I am basically screwed.

I'm not even sure if I'd be eligible for disability, though it would help ease some pressure in the short term and might allow me to also address the anxiety & depression, both of which are worsening and I'm finding it increasingly difficult just to function and even talk to people. It's a combination of gender issues, work stress, pending divorce and feeling completely alien and out of place where I live and work (it's not that it bad here, but it's just not me).

I don't know what options I have left. Like I said, much hinges on being able to be re-employed by the company I once worked for and being able to get help ASAP as I'm a nervous wreck.
 
Old 05-14-2012, 04:04 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
9,995 posts, read 17,909,535 times
Reputation: 14321
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonborn View Post
All,

Thanks for the advice and kind words. I don't want to flood this thread by replying to each post, so I'll keep it here.

I've decided what I'm going to do, but a lot of that (and everything else) hinges on me being able to find work and move back to South FL; a culture that I was more used to and which became home to me. If that doesn't happen, I am basically screwed.

I'm not even sure if I'd be eligible for disability, though it would help ease some pressure in the short term and might allow me to also address the anxiety & depression, both of which are worsening and I'm finding it increasingly difficult just to function and even talk to people. It's a combination of gender issues, work stress, pending divorce and feeling completely alien and out of place where I live and work (it's not that it bad here, but it's just not me).

I don't know what options I have left. Like I said, much hinges on being able to be re-employed by the company I once worked for and being able to get help ASAP as I'm a nervous wreck.
Well we all know what to pray for, meditate upon, or bend our positive energy towards, as our case may be.

BTW, GABA is a great natural amino acid that will help the anxiety and isn't expensive--maybe $15 the bottle. I gave some to my brother at mom's funeral so he could keep it together.
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