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Old 09-27-2012, 10:52 PM
Location: Center of the universe
24,672 posts, read 34,824,643 times
Reputation: 11780


Originally Posted by Billy_J View Post
Actually there are advantages and disadvantages to everything!

Think about what it would actually be like to be a perfect 10...

Say you could get a date with anyone you choose to - easily get a date. Well there goes all your dreams and fantasies! You have dated everyone you wanted to, there is no one left to go after. The "mystery" is gone!

That is like being filthy rich and being able to buy anything you want. Fun at first, then it gets boring. Nothing left to work towards, save up for, or dream about having.

Or playing games like on a team. You win #1. Now what do you do? Nowhere left to go!

Personally I think life is better being "not so perfect"!
I'd prefer the 10 looks and the money any day. Mystery is overrated.
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Old 09-27-2012, 11:21 PM
Location: La lune et les étoiles
18,041 posts, read 19,772,490 times
Reputation: 19460
Originally Posted by Llewelyn View Post
I know it, but if I'm lacking in looks, to a degree I already have to overcompensate in confidence or something that will even get people's attention. At the moment I don't think my confidence is nearly high enough to pull it off.

As for boyish looks, I'm not too concerned about being young looking and even consider it a good thing in ways. My dad is young looking so I doubt the look will be going away whether I get the surgery or not, and I'm okay with it.

Confidence (not arrogance) and intelligence are very attractive. Definitely not overrated.
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Old 09-29-2012, 01:39 AM
Location: Mid-Atlantic
27,429 posts, read 25,991,276 times
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Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
Confidence (not arrogance) and intelligence are very attractive. Definitely not overrated.
I agree.

In my teens and early 20s I was attracted to tallish, slender, blonde guys with blue or green eyes. Whom did I marry? I married a guy of average height, stocky, dark hair, dark eyes and frankly, a nose that's bit big for his face. Why did I marry him? I found him intelligent, resourceful, witty. He also thought that I was an alter at which to worship.

Never underestimate personality.
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Old 10-01-2012, 08:33 AM
15,246 posts, read 17,442,916 times
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Originally Posted by Llewelyn View Post
Thanks for all of your responses guys. I'm already in a better mood than I was when I made this thread. 'Tis the nature of depression and mood swings I guess.

I made an appointment with an ear/nose/throat doctor (I'm a mouth breather and tongue thruster) and they told me there are maxillofacial surgeons in the same building, so I hopefully will get a chance to consult with one of them. Appointment is next Thursday.
Glad you're feeling better about things and by all means pursue the surgery of you want to do it.

But as others have said, looks aren't everything. There is a guy who works in my building and he's very short--no more than 5'6", for sure, is bald and has a lisp. But he's married with a new baby. Based on his job he must have a college degree, he dresses nicely and is polite.

The surgery may be the confidence builder you need to feel better about everything--but even without it, concentrate on maxing out all your potential and life will be better than you think it can be.

Last edited by Marlow; 10-01-2012 at 09:52 AM..
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Old 10-02-2012, 10:41 AM
Location: Mokena, Illinois
947 posts, read 2,167,204 times
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It may not be depression as much as it could be this:
Body dysmorphic disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I had cystic acne much of my young adolescence and adult life. It left me scarred both physically and emotionally. Treatments back in the 70's were painful and barbaric. My self image was so distorted, I felt like a monster when I looked in the mirror. It affected every aspect of my life.
However, it didn't prevent me from getting married, once when I was too young-21 and other when I was 36. The people who love you will find you beautiful. There will be people who will love you.
I had counseling, but what really made my life change was when I decided to turn my energy into something good and go back to school. At 43 years old, I decided to go into nursing. It was a blessing to my self esteem and made me a stronger, more confident person. Am I still "flawed"? Yes, but so is everyone else, thank God. Even the extraordinarily attractive ones.
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Old 10-02-2012, 11:31 AM
14 posts, read 22,310 times
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Originally Posted by Llewelyn View Post
This is coming from a self acknowledged unattractive person.
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Not only does it affect dating life but like it or not it affect's people's impressions of you. It's definitely doing a number on my self-confidence and I'm already subject to depression.

Believe it or not, smiling or not smiling makes up most of what people think of as "attractive."

Our brains are programmed to be attracted to smiles from the time we are infants, and it can do miracles toward putting that 'special something' into your otherwise unremarkable face. If people don't even remember what you look like, often, they will be able to recall your genuine grin or laugh.

Be open to thinking of yourself as attractive. Most of the time, people who feel that they are ugly shut themselves off from the rest of the world for fear that it will hurt them. In their opinion, the world's expected disapproval seems deserved. It is not. Most of the time, others only respond to a person as 'ugly' because that person responds to themselves as 'ugly.'

Stand looking into the mirror, and react to what you see as if it were another person. Treat yourself with the common decency you'd show to a stranger. You'd never walk up to a stranger and say, "Wow, look at how ugly you are!" So don't do it to yourself. Be polite to yourself, and offer to help that person in the mirror in any way that you can, to look better and to feel better about how they do look, and then actually do it! Common courtesy to yourself can go a long way toward breaking the image of 'ugly' in your mind.

Beauty is just as much of an illusion as ugliness is. Take the make-up off your favorite supermodel, and you'd be shocked to realize she looks just like you did in high school. Even if she doesn't, put her in some old unkempt clothes and make her think she's ugly, and you'd be amazed at the transformation; from supermodel to average in a day.

Exercise. If you feel down and don't belong to a gym, take a 30-minute brisk walk. Sometimes a person will think that their situation is causing their unhappiness, when in actuality the feeling of unhappiness just latched onto something random. Regular exercise is as good as anti-depressants in raising one's mood and thus making you feel better overall, thus more likely to appreciate yourself rather than tearing yourself down.

Self-confidence is more attractive than physical beauty. Stand-up straight, hold your head up high, and look people in the eye. SMILE!
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Old 10-02-2012, 11:40 AM
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NO ONE is perfect and for anyone that thinks they are - just makes them more unattractive! You my friend are not ugly, don't "tell" yourself that, because then that is what you will beleive and brain wash yourself! Its self sabotaging - don't do it! Its just as easy to look in the mirror and find the things you like about yourself and believe that instead. You are probably a good person on the inside. There are plenty of individuals around that are a pretty package on the outside, but ugly on the inside. There is someone for everyone, you just haven't found that person yet. If you beleive you are attractive, then you will be and you will put that energy out there! Good luck :-)
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