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Old 09-24-2012, 06:33 PM
 
5,239 posts, read 6,966,313 times
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Have you ever noticed how many unattractive people are in the movies and TV and even considered leading men types. Of course they have self confidence and probably see themselves as quite attractive, its everyone else that needs glasses. Personality does make one more attractive too. Those with a pretty outside shell and an ugly inside are just plain ugly. So having a good heart, being a kind and caring person makes one more attractive as well. The old saying about beauty being in the eye of the beholder is true. One often sees what might be seen as a mixed couple, as in an attractive person with a more unattractive mate. The pretty person sees something in their mate, maybe its depth of character, humor, kindness, caring, loving, loyalty. Maybe you should try volunteering with some cause that you believe in. In my case it would be an animal rescue or a shelter. People there generally have more depth to them and see people for more than a pretty face. Be the best person you can be, people will like you for who you are and what you stand for.

If you need the surgery thats fine, but I am not so trusting of doc's not screwing up so if I don't have to have something done I won't. If you are thinking seriously of surgery, become an expert on all that is involved prior to having it done. You don't want any surprises after the fact. Good Luck.
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Old 09-24-2012, 07:28 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,193 posts, read 5,512,601 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by todd00 View Post
Have you ever noticed how many unattractive people are in the movies and TV and even considered leading men types. Of course they have self confidence and probably see themselves as quite attractive, its everyone else that needs glasses. Personality does make one more attractive too. Those with a pretty outside shell and an ugly inside are just plain ugly. So having a good heart, being a kind and caring person makes one more attractive as well. The old saying about beauty being in the eye of the beholder is true. One often sees what might be seen as a mixed couple, as in an attractive person with a more unattractive mate. The pretty person sees something in their mate, maybe its depth of character, humor, kindness, caring, loving, loyalty. Maybe you should try volunteering with some cause that you believe in. In my case it would be an animal rescue or a shelter. People there generally have more depth to them and see people for more than a pretty face. Be the best person you can be, people will like you for who you are and what you stand for.

If you need the surgery thats fine, but I am not so trusting of doc's not screwing up so if I don't have to have something done I won't. If you are thinking seriously of surgery, become an expert on all that is involved prior to having it done. You don't want any surprises after the fact. Good Luck.
Case in point. Steve Buschemi is what I would consider fairly ugly, but the way he carries himself, the way he dresses and most certainly his sense of humor all make him a fairly attractive man. At least, what I think would be attractive to the ladies.

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Old 09-24-2012, 10:41 PM
 
Location: SC Foothills
8,831 posts, read 10,239,521 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiGuy2.5 View Post
Case in point. Steve Buschemi is what I would consider fairly ugly, but the way he carries himself, the way he dresses and most certainly his sense of humor all make him a fairly attractive man. At least, what I think would be attractive to the ladies.
YES!! Very good example and as a lady I would date him, despite his looks. I can remember every single character that I've seen him play, most notably in "Fargo" and "Mr. Deeds" with his crazy eyes. He is the epitome of ugly with a great personality and the kind of confidence that is attractive. He's one of those rare gems in Hollywood that gives us all hope that it's not all about good looks, but talent.

Another that comes to mind would be Frances McDormand, who happens to be in "Fargo" also. She's not attractive in the classic beauty sense, but man can she act! I just love her, as well as Kathy Bates and a few others that I can't name right now but the point is that looks play a very small role when you got a big personality. Over the years I have dated some of what others would consider the ugliest men but they had qualities that I loved that others couldn't always see.

Take heart OP, you're very young and have all the time in the world to focus on developing your character and self-worth/self-esteem. Just get through your studies and as you go along in life things will fall into place. I've seen my own son develop into a well-rounded human being over the last 5 years or so and he just turned 23. I was worried for a while because he had a terrible time all through school being bullied and low self-esteem but he seems to have overcome it quite well. You will too, just give it time and get that college education!!



Frances McDormand Kathy Bates
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Old 09-25-2012, 05:21 AM
 
Location: West Palm Beach, Florida
132 posts, read 145,455 times
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Steve Buscemi is hardly ugly and his looks have improved woh age. Kathy Bates is a very good character actress who fits certain Stephen King novels set in Maine.

Those are rare though. If you look at television, music and movies today, it's virtually all beautiful people. You have to look at foreign television or films to find that it's less of an issue abroad, but the US is one country that is very fixated with superficial beauty.

Unattractive people generally have it pretty bad over here. With no national healthcare, treatment is expensive too, whether that be surgery or therapy or medication.
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Old 09-25-2012, 07:47 AM
 
Location: Chicago
3,193 posts, read 5,512,601 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mörkrädd View Post
Steve Buscemi is hardly ugly and his looks have improved woh age. Kathy Bates is a very good character actress who fits certain Stephen King novels set in Maine.

Those are rare though. If you look at television, music and movies today, it's virtually all beautiful people. You have to look at foreign television or films to find that it's less of an issue abroad, but the US is one country that is very fixated with superficial beauty.

Unattractive people generally have it pretty bad over here. With no national healthcare, treatment is expensive too, whether that be surgery or therapy or medication.

Steve Buscemi is hardly ugly?

I dont disagree with the rest of your statement, but this isn't about how hard ugly people have it. Its about trying to prove that no matter how unfortunate your natural born looks may be, you CAN improve upon them.
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Old 09-25-2012, 10:46 AM
 
4,762 posts, read 11,673,603 times
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First STOP watching TV and movies, or if you do watch, understand where those people come from. They are "looks wise" 1 out of 100,000 people. "Normal" people do not look like that!

Next look at your neighbors. Note they do not look like people on TV, yet they have boyfriends/girlfriends and are married. How can that be?

Go to the store and look at the people. Notice there are people who are not perfect 10's (rather 3's looks wise) and they are with someone - a husband/wife, whatever. How can that be?

Visit Walmart. Look at the people. Note the most horrendous looking people are with someone else and they are smiling. Why is that?

Maybe it does not matter what you look like? There is somebody for everybody!

Next consider a guy I knew who was a "10" looks wise. He had all sorts of "friends". Then his face was badly burned, then none of those "friends" would have anything to do with him anymore! (Except me and a couple of others.) He was glad that happened to him because he quickly learned who his REAL friends were!

Anyway don't have any surgery done. Don't change a thing. You are fine as you are to many many people out there. Personality is more important so far as relationships go.

Join some volunteer groups and you will meet MANY people who like you as you are!

Proof of what I am saying...
Marrying A Quadriplegic | Disabled and Productive
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Old 09-26-2012, 07:58 PM
 
924 posts, read 1,427,590 times
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Thanks for all of your responses guys. I'm already in a better mood than I was when I made this thread. 'Tis the nature of depression and mood swings I guess.

I made an appointment with an ear/nose/throat doctor (I'm a mouth breather and tongue thruster) and they told me there are maxillofacial surgeons in the same building, so I hopefully will get a chance to consult with one of them. Appointment is next Thursday.
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Old 09-26-2012, 11:32 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
27,265 posts, read 25,865,265 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiGuy2.5 View Post
Case in point. Steve Buschemi is what I would consider fairly ugly, but the way he carries himself, the way he dresses and most certainly his sense of humor all make him a fairly attractive man. At least, what I think would be attractive to the ladies.
You've got to love Mr. Pink. Personally, I don't find him physically attractive, but I agree with everything that you've said. I like the parts that he's played, he knows how to carry himself and seems to have a pretty lively sense of humor. It may be that I find him an attractive package.
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Old 09-26-2012, 11:46 PM
 
8,290 posts, read 11,249,523 times
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I just walk with my head down.
I don't look others in the eyes.
I put on glasses to hide my face most of the time.
I am shy on top of it,but its because I've always been told I'm ugly.
I don't want to get my feelings hurt.
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Old 09-27-2012, 12:37 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
27,265 posts, read 25,865,265 times
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Originally Posted by Llewelyn View Post
I don't think it's social phobia or anything like that that other's were suggesting. Depression seems most likely. There was a time where I was social, went to parties, and had a good time. I still didn't talk to women cause I knew as much then as I know now that I'm not attractive, but I was happier then for some reason.

By the way my jaw problem has given me a very boyish face, like people have mistaken me for 15 years old, and I'm a 20 year old college student. Girls would probably feel like they're dating a high school freshman.
My dad, a brother, several nephews (more?) all looked quite boyish well into their '20s, probably '30s. None of them appreciated it at the time. They did when their 40 something friends started to look a bit old and tired.

Some of these relatives are on the short side and a team of them couldn't produce a decent beard. They all married and had kids.

Long, short, if having the work done will help you to feel much better about yourself then, by all means, have it done. I just wanted to let you know that it's not required.
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