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I know it hard to talk in person but the positive is you have started.
Here is an idea. When you are trying to talk to them, close your eyes & pretend it is a CD person.
I do understand your wanting to be able to post at CD. If you decide the hospital would be best (could help you quicker and start your plan for better health)- anyway, if the hospital would help you, we would be here when you finish!
Remember your mental health is imporant, do what is best.
I took a nap too and I woke from a dream that made me think that the people in the dream were in my apt. I was confused the dream world with RL! Strange.
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I am glad u have ppl to talk with. Maybe print out what you told us here and share/ read to them?
I know this thread isn't a diary or journal but I don't know where to say this, so I think here is the best place. So, I'm not getting better, currently I can't keep the appointments with my doctor and psychologist because of a surgery I had the 10, some very bad ingrown nails for the people who may want to know, I'm stuck here and my health seem to worsen every day a little more, this make me feel enormously discouraged and isolated. Like I said in another post I try very hard to hope for better days but inside I know doing this is just hurting me even more and I really don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm scared and when I have to explain how I feel, I can't because it's too blurry and confused and a mix of so many things that it just doesn't make any sense at all. Also I think I've gone too far with my feelings and now it's too late to go back, but I wish I could because i've screwed things up and I'm too clumsy to know the right thing to do with it all.
I'm not good enough so all the people I love end up leaving me without a word
I'm ashamed of myself, so I know people can't love someone like me, I'malways complaining, it's like I'm just a stupid waste of space and air and each time I try to say something, it just sound agressive or rude or idiotic or naive or a mix of it all, I never know what to say, what to feel, what to do, so I just do nothing or do things but badly and other people have a bad image of me and it just make me cry stupidly because all I've ever wanted was to be worth something but no matter how I look at myself or at my life, there is nothing good in there and it will always be like that because I'm nothing, and nothing people like me just have to stay on the ground and shut up, never trying to ask for help ever again, I've learned that
Sorry, I know this thread has been open for a while now, but in fact I just really need(ed) to talk. To say things...
Thank you.
Last edited by Eden Morlevent; 08-12-2015 at 12:46 PM..
I know this thread isn't a diary or journal but I don't know where to say this, so I think here is the best place. So, I'm not getting better, currently I can't keep the appointments with my doctor and psychologist because of a surgery I had the 10, some very bad ingrown nails for the people who may want to know, I'm stuck here and my health seem to worsen every day a little more, this make me feel enormously discouraged and isolated. Like I said in another post I try very hard to hope for better days but inside I know doing this is just hurting me even more and I really don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm scared and when I have to explain how I feel, I can't because it's too blurry and confused and a mix of so many things that it just doesn't make any sense at all. Also I think I've gone too far with my feelings and now it's too late to go back, but I wish I could because i've screwed things up and I'm too clumsy to know the right thing to do with it all.
I'm not good enough so all the people I love end up leaving me without a word
I'm ashamed of myself, so I know people can't love someone like me, I'malways complaining, it's like I'm just a stupid waste of space and air and each time I try to say something, it just sound agressive or rude or idiotic or naive or a mix of it all, I never know what to say, what to feel, what to do, so I just do nothing or do things but badly and other people have a bad image of me and it just make me cry stupidly because all I've ever wanted was to be worth something but no matter how I look at myself or at my life, there is nothing good in there and it will always be like that because I'm nothing, and nothing people like me just have to stay on the ground and shut up, never trying to ask for help ever again, I've learned that
Sorry, I know this thread has been open for a while now, but in fact I just really need(ed) to talk. To say things...
Thank you.
DJ, don't ever give up on yourself. Life can be difficult but there is always hope for better days ahead. Try and be strong.
DJ, you have a lot of people here who care about you! I know you can make it past the trying times you are having right now. Hugs............I know better days are in your future!!
I think it must be even harder to deal with when you are having mental health issues combined with physical health issues. At least give it a chance for the physical to get under control as that might be easier and quicker to accomplish. When you are fighting infection or feeling weak, it is very hard to feel ok mentally. you really do have a lot to deal with and it really is draining you. Please don't let it defeat you- you are a very intelligent articulate person and you will feel better.
see how many people on here are looking after you? we really do care.
Thank you for all the kind and helpful responses, I'm very touched and very grateful. I met some wonderful people here and I want them to know that I care for them a lot too.
I'd like to be strong, but it's a bit hard. CD is an incredible place when you know where to look, and even if I'm not getting better physically since I posted my first message, I feel a little better in my head, I know that many understand me and know what it's like to be in my situation, so thank you again for all the time everyone took in their lives to let me a message and help me feeling less worthless.
Last edited by Eden Morlevent; 08-14-2015 at 05:16 AM..
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