How about this "Minnesota Ice" vs. "Minnesota Nice" stuff?? (Minneapolis: real estate, home)

[BJBoxcars]

Originally Posted by tindo80

For some reason, people in MN tend to get comfortable with a single set of friends early on, then isolate themselves socially. ......here, everyone keeps to their bubble. ....button up for the ice storm.

I think Tindo hit it on the head! I'm also from out-of-state and it seems people have an established set of friends, often from high school, and never want to expand on those relationships. They're nice on the surface and that's it. It's truly amazing.

I've also heard people say that Minnesotans are passive aggressive. They'll be nice to your face and then talk behind your back. On the east coast, people are straight with you. At least you know where you stand; none of this behind-the-back stuff. BRRRR!!!

[tommyp1]

Originally Posted by Anneee

I've lived in Minnesota for 15 years and I think that the reason for the Minnesota ICE phenomenon is that people here have so little truly free time. They work hard, they tend to have large extended families that they're very involved with and feel responsible for. And, when they do have a spare moment, they invest it in existing friendships or their communities, or they work on maintaining their homes. These are busy people!

Yeh, and when you're through being "busy" then IT's all over! Being busy rather than connecting? I think this 'work-ethic' we brag about here is a crock! Sorry.

[tommyp1]

Originally Posted by BJBoxcars

I think Tindo hit it on the head! I'm also from out-of-state and it seems people have an established set of friends, often from high school, and never want to expand on those relationships. They're nice on the surface and that's it. It's truly amazing.

I've also heard people say that Minnesotans are passive aggressive. They'll be nice to your face and then talk behind your back. On the east coast, people are straight with you. At least you know where you stand; none of this behind-the-back stuff. BRRRR!!!

I agree with you Boxcars! I'm native MN (St. Paul). Since most posts are mixing ice/nice, and saying about the same, I'll conform. I've returned here a couple times in the last 10 years. Quite frankly, growing up (50's-60's), ice/nice wasn't part of the landscape. Never heard the expression: "Minnesota Nice." Then, (first return) when I heard it in a work setting in St Paul (conflicted), and asked what it meant, this person said: politically correct/incorrect backstabbing (which agrees with your post)! Where did ice/nice come from? A native told me: pretty much from 'transplants' as first and/or lasting impressions on moving here. Does it exist elsewhere? Of course. It's cultural here with the Scandies-Germans vs the Irish, with some saying the spiritless vs the spirited and then "others" in the mix. Some can't help themselves (raised that way), but it is dishonest! Is it respectful to hold your tongue, look away (esp. in the last election, with the lengthy seating of our 2nd Senator) and roll over and play dead? I think not. Why not just stand out in the road and say "here, run me over?"
Garrison Keillor, our "Homegrown Democrat" (actually like his book) is famous for saying: "if you come to Minnesota, you'll find it just to good too leave." Well Garrison, you've been all over this country (like me), and know that there's life after Minnesota. Good luck, Boxcars, stay warm and thanks.

[Minervah]

When I visited MPLS last spring to determine if it would be a good place for me to move, I found people very nice and helpful and answered all my questions. The thing is anywhere you go and I mean anywhere if you are the outsider you are going to have to make the extra effort to belong. When people have their established circle of friends and family they are content with those and are not always anxious to add to that circle. But that doesn't mean you cannot find your crowd.

I wouldn't put too much emphasis on "Nice" or "Ice" or any of those descriptions. When I first moved to Portland, which had a reputation for its friendliness, I found I had never met such a bunch of hostile people. Gradually though, I found others with whom I could click. You just have to keep trying.

I have always thought that you don't really "make" friendships, you "earn" them.

[moving123456]

Do some research on Scandinavian culture, it is the basic culture of native Minnesotans. If you want a more direct Italian or Irish type of culture, look at the east coast instead.

[webzter]

My wife and I lived in Minneapolis for 10 years (basically, our 20's). We made friends. We didn't make a lot, but that's just how we are (no reflection on the area). Minneapolis / St. Paul is a large enough metro area that it's hard to generalize. Not everyone in town is a native.

People do tend to socialize in their neck of the city more. We lived in the southwest corner of the metro and had a friend that lived in the far north-east. That 60 mile drive put a damper on how often we got together at each others house.

It's a big enough town though that you should visit and explore your options. I don't know a lot about St. Paul, but if I were in your shoes and looking at Minneapolis, I'd check out uptown and downtown (especially the warehouse district).

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by moving123456

Do some research on Scandinavian culture, it is the basic culture of native Minnesotans.

Tell that to the folks in New Ulm and other Minnesota towns with a heavy German influence. But that background can be similar in many ways.

[Camden Northsider]

I grew up in South Dakota and I've had no problems making friends with native Minnesotans, and the Minnesotans I've known seem to want to be rather inclusive, esp. my experience living in Minneapolis but can't really speak to other places(although the experiences of my family are very positive in regard in moving to a rural MN environment). And really, regarding the whole Minnesota ice/nice thing....at a certain age, don't people just grow up and quit worrying about how popular they are, how many friends they have (guess not thanks to facebook), and/or whether or not they're the center of attention?...Isn't part of the aging process the desire to move away from having many meaningless friendships so as to better cultivate the rewarding/ strong friendships and relationships that one has and/or encounters?

I've always been a firm believer that moving to a new geography is not likely to make you a happier person that is better able to cope with life and/or cause you to have less problems- if anything, the opposite happens as you likely sever many meaningful relationships in the process of picking up and moving to another part of the country or world (especially if doing so alone). I think a lot of the folks that move here, or anywhere for that matter, and find themselves unhappy oftentimes need to find something or someone to point the blame at for what may have been a hasty decision without a lot of introspection in the first place- it's easier to conclude that everyone in a state is mean, cold, or too reserved than to admit you made a bad decision and/or need to work on some things in your personal life.

And, quite frankly, if I moved to a place where I could insta-friend everyone I encountered, to me that would feel like a pretty artificial place.

And is it preferable to live in a place that's hard to make friends where all the people you don't make friends with are all a**holes to you vs. maintaining a friendly/civil attitude?

Or is it just that Minnesota is that great of a place that the only things people can think to complain about are its cold weather and nice people?

[knke0204]

Minnesotans value friends and family, if youre going to be reactive and not proactive, finding a group of friends that trust you and enjoy you is going to be hard... its just the way we are... we have many friends, hold them dear, and dont just let anyone walk into our lives.

[StilltheSame]

Originally Posted by knke0204

Minnesotans value friends and family, if youre going to be reactive and not proactive, finding a group of friends that trust you and enjoy you is going to be hard... its just the way we are... we have many friends, hold them dear, and dont just let anyone walk into our lives.

I can appreciate that and it works well if you never leave home. But if you ever have to move someplace else you may see things from a different perspective.