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SO/ Maplewood is the way to go. the express trains to midtown are 30 min. My advice is live near a train station. Walk or bike to station is was less stressful than driving. Buy a Condo in South Orange near the train station. You will thank me later. Thats what my brother did. Could not be happier.
I agree with this...the OP needs to live closer to the MD train line in one of those communities. Would add back years their life.
You may want to check out Secaucus. I know the schools are not that great. But the commute surely is. We are in a similar situation as you except that I have a husband who works late hours. So I can understand as a working mum how much you long to spend more time with your children rather than commuting. There is a gated community known as Harmon Cove Towers here in Secaucus which has a shuttle service to the Secaucus station or direct bus to Port Authority. My husband works around 47th street 11 Ave and it takes him not more than 40 mins door to door by bus. There are so many professionals with young children living here. Some send their kids to private schools who don't like the public school system.
Another town to consider is Rutherford its just next to Secaucus. Again not excellent schools but okay. You have the bus option or train.
I am not sure how much the school system can do wonders. But my 2 boys are in Kindergarten and 1st grade in Secaucus public school. One always has Outstanding result and the other above average. We send them to Kumon for Maths to supplement their education.
Btw we are renting and looking to buy in Bergen county. Seen so many houses but there is nothing we like our budget is mid 400K only. But for your budget I bet you can find a nice place in Bergen commuter towns with excellent schools such as Glen Rock or Ridgewood. I know friends who commute to midtown from here and it takes them 1 hr up but they are all living at no more than 5-or 10 mins walk to the station.
In short you will have to sacrifice somewhere I doubt in NJ good schools and easy commute go hand in hand. Good luck!
OP here - thanks so much everyone for all of your thoughts and your feedback! It has been really helpful. I have a lot to think about and figure out (in a very short amount of time). It really seems it's going to come down to decent commute (translating into a little bit more time for my kids to have with me, and hopefully a little less stress for me) versus really good schools, and that I won't get both. Also a factor is urban feel versus more suburban feel since after my stint in PA, I've grown to prefer a less urban feel. My preference is still a town with a train station (although having a bus option too is great).
My current thinking is I either move to a town with a direct train a bit further out (so net travel time similar to from Westfield but with a bit less stress) and still "very good" schools (e.g., Chatham, Madison - recognizing my budget won't go far there), and I am also going to re-consider Montclair and Maplewood/SO, despite being concerned with the schools, and despite knowing that they are a bit too crowded/urban for me. And to be honest I'm confused about how to really assess the school situations - I've looked at the scores, rankings, other data, etc, but am having trouble interpreting it all and translating it into whether it's a fit for us.
One other thing that I wasn't focusing on as much, since I just assumed it wouldn't be an issue in the metro NYC area, is our being a single parent family. There was a poster who spoke about how he and the other guys on the train from Westfield didn't mind the commute b/c their wives were holding down the forts at home, and that there are no single parents in Westfield (to his knowledge) and how everyone has 3+ kids, etc. Yikes - I never imagined that in this day and age my family would be such an oddity! It felt a bit Stepford-esque to be honest and I wondered if that would be something I would encounter in other NJ burbs. I know that's just one person, but it gave me pause about the area in general and made me wonder if Montclair or Maplewood would be a better fit b/c my sense is that those communities have attracted all different kinds of families. It would be nice if my kids weren't in the only non-traditional family in the area although I don't know that I should make that my absolute most important criteria.
I also feel like perhaps I should re-consider Nassau County on Long Island, Rockville Centre in particular. It would theoretically solve both good commute and good schools, but I am worried about Long Island provinciality (I grew up a few towns over and did not like it for that reason) and not being able to drive to PA easily (where my mom and brother are). I also feel like I should consider Westchester but to be honest that seems really overwhelming b/c although I've researched it a lot, I don't have any hands on experience with all the different towns. If there is anyone reading who has experience with Rockville Centre/Nassau County and lower Westchester and could provide a bit of a contrast/comparison that would be great (recognizing those are big areas of course and probably difficult to summarize/compare).
Sigh. I feel like my head is going to pop off from all of this, lol...
OP here - thanks so much everyone for all of your thoughts and your feedback! It has been really helpful. I have a lot to think about and figure out (in a very short amount of time). It really seems it's going to come down to decent commute (translating into a little bit more time for my kids to have with me, and hopefully a little less stress for me) versus really good schools, and that I won't get both. Also a factor is urban feel versus more suburban feel since after my stint in PA, I've grown to prefer a less urban feel. My preference is still a town with a train station (although having a bus option too is great).
My current thinking is I either move to a town with a direct train a bit further out (so net travel time similar to from Westfield but with a bit less stress) and still "very good" schools (e.g., Chatham, Madison - recognizing my budget won't go far there), and I am also going to re-consider Montclair and Maplewood/SO, despite being concerned with the schools, and despite knowing that they are a bit too crowded/urban for me. And to be honest I'm confused about how to really assess the school situations - I've looked at the scores, rankings, other data, etc, but am having trouble interpreting it all and translating it into whether it's a fit for us.
One other thing that I wasn't focusing on as much, since I just assumed it wouldn't be an issue in the metro NYC area, is our being a single parent family. There was a poster who spoke about how he and the other guys on the train from Westfield didn't mind the commute b/c their wives were holding down the forts at home, and that there are no single parents in Westfield (to his knowledge) and how everyone has 3+ kids, etc. Yikes - I never imagined that in this day and age my family would be such an oddity! It felt a bit Stepford-esque to be honest and I wondered if that would be something I would encounter in other NJ burbs. I know that's just one person, but it gave me pause about the area in general and made me wonder if Montclair or Maplewood would be a better fit b/c my sense is that those communities have attracted all different kinds of families. It would be nice if my kids weren't in the only non-traditional family in the area although I don't know that I should make that my absolute most important criteria.
I also feel like perhaps I should re-consider Nassau County on Long Island, Rockville Centre in particular. It would theoretically solve both good commute and good schools, but I am worried about Long Island provinciality (I grew up a few towns over and did not like it for that reason) and not being able to drive to PA easily (where my mom and brother are). I also feel like I should consider Westchester but to be honest that seems really overwhelming b/c although I've researched it a lot, I don't have any hands on experience with all the different towns. If there is anyone reading who has experience with Rockville Centre/Nassau County and lower Westchester and could provide a bit of a contrast/comparison that would be great (recognizing those are big areas of course and probably difficult to summarize/compare).
Sigh. I feel like my head is going to pop off from all of this, lol...
I am the poster you are referring to. I am not being judgmental about divorce, nor am I suggesting that any of my friends would be. My point is humble - commutes from ANY suburb into NYC are tough for single parents. I count my blessings that I found a fantastic woman who works harder in the home than I do outside the home.
Maplewood has a nice Park Slope feel to it and it might shave a few minutes off your commute, but you might have to downsize to get taxes under your optimal budget. Madison has a hip vibe to it since it's a university town w/ academicians but it's too far given your constraints. Chatham's populace is a lot like Westfield's, except it might be a tad bit more white bread, if one can imagine that.
What do your kids think of Westfield? Are they in classes at the Y ? Sports? Our generation makes sacrifices for our children, so again I encourage you to join the Newcomer's Club and the Y and try to get to know people and make some friends before you make any rash judgments. How do you spend your weekends? Are you just too exhausted from the work week to have any fun? If so, move a good deal closer to work or find a new job closer to home.
I'm stepping in after being away for a few days but another interesting suggestion would be the Princeton area. That opens you up to a whole bunch of great communities and schools (West Windsor, Plainsboro, Lawrenceville, etc.) and the train ride is only 55 (when on time)minutes out of Princeton Junction direct into Penn. It seems like a world away but the commute isn't terrible.
I brings you closer to your family in Penn and also opens you up to the Philly job market.
I am not sure Madison/Chatham/etc are that much different from Westfield. They are all similar. Westfield actually offers more...pools, shopping, downtown, restaurants, YMCA, etc. I'd pick New Providence over these, but it is similar as well. High end suburban family communities. If Princeton commute is not worse (??) then that seems like a good suggestion. Westchester taxes are very high. What worries me most for you (being empathetic to your situation) is that if you have to get back to NJ quickly for your kids, you can't. Do you know anyone in Westfield (or any town where you could live) that would be helpful in this type of situation? Also, if kids are at day care or school after-care, and your train runs late, what is your Plan B in terms of picking up the kids? NOT trying to stress you out; just something to think about. You may need a town that offers good aftercare program at school or transports to YMCA for aftercare etc.
I forgot what you said about your job...I'd probably work toward getting a job in the suburbs if at all possible, and live right near work. This will be important for kid stuff (school pickups, early releases, sports, activities, etc) and will give you more time at home w/ the kids.
I'm stepping in after being away for a few days but another interesting suggestion would be the Princeton area. That opens you up to a whole bunch of great communities and schools (West Windsor, Plainsboro, Lawrenceville, etc.) and the train ride is only 55 (when on time)minutes out of Princeton Junction direct into Penn. It seems like a world away but the commute isn't terrible.
I brings you closer to your family in Penn and also opens you up to the Philly job market.
No way Princeton is better than Westfield. I work with a woman in the office who lives in Princeton and commutes to Times Sq, she has a special arrangement at work where she come in very early (5-6am) so she can leave at 4pm.
It sounds like without parking and dealing with the car that your commute might get more reasonable. We live in Cranford and having commuted in a few times from Westfield I'm often surprised at what a disaster it is to find parking.
But I'd suggest looking for a place within walking distance of the station no matter where you go. If you've lived in New York you understand the beauty of knowing exactly how long it takes to get to the train from your place and how nice it is to just get there and get on a train.
Westfield's big draw (and Cranford) is the vibrant downtown scene. You mentioned you're not likely to drive to town to stroll, so don't drive. We walk five minutes to downtown Cranford with our kids about the same age and it's sheer pleasure to not have to get to the car and buckle up and find the stroller and unpack it all and deal with any of it. We walk out of the house and to our destination.
It also means I leave the house at 10 after, catch the 8:17, Penn Station by 8:4-something and NY Penn by 9:10 or Path closer to the office by 9:20. Either way the 1 hour 15 commute is entirely possible if you take parking and car out of the equation entirely, so definitely look for places with a walkable downtown that you can just move near to stay out of the car: Westfield, Cranford, South Orange, Montclair, Maplewood. Essex County will blow out your tax limit of 12K, especially in Glen Ridge (as good as the schools are, there's no commercial base to relieve the homeowners), but there are definitely places out there that will fit your budget and your timeline, you just have to stop worrying about parking.
OP, I sympathize with your situation. The facts are New York City employment has reached an all-time high and continues to grow, while New Jersey’s job market remains depressed and is recovering at a painfully slow pace. More than any time in the past 30 years, New York City is where this region’s jobs are located, and I don’t see the situation changing. The impact on New Jersey is high home values and rents in New Jersey towns having convenient mass transit to Manhattan, along with growing congestion on these transit routes.
A perfect solution does not exist. To make New Jersey living work for your family, consider Weehawken among your alternatives.
Compared to other New Jersey options, the commute between Weehawken and your workplace would be quick and low stress. Everyplace in Weehawken is a short walk to one of many bus stops, eliminating the hassle of driving and parking. Buses run frequently, so living by the schedule is not necessary. The bus ride takes 15to 25 minutes. The walk between the bus terminal and 8th & 50th is 10 minutes, with the E train available when weather is poor. This is a one-seat commute that would 35 to 50 minutes door to door (really). The monthly cost is between $90 and $130.
NJ Monthly ranks Weehawken High School 91st in the state, out of 328 public high schools. Westfield High School ranks 49th. Weehawken schools are effective, especially inlight of the students’ diverse demographic profile, but the district falls short of Westfield. The Weehawken schools outperform neighboring districts (Union City, Hoboken, West New York) by a wide margin, the schools are funded mostly through Weehawken property tax revenues (not state funds), and Weehawken parents recognize and appreciate this. Most parents are happy with the schools. However, Weehawken parents with advanced degrees often have the money and inclination to send their children to private schools in Hoboken, Jersey City, and Manhattan.
Weehawken has a varied housing stock. In general,Weehawken is a mix of urban and suburban, with more urban. Most homes were built between 1900 and 1930. The town has mansions bigger and pricier than those in Westfield, single family homes in your price range, multifamily homes, condos, coops, and new and old apartment buildings.
thought to add info about jersey city downtown in case that's of any help: the PS 16 elem school is quite decent, not as good as many towns of central nj, but more importantly from middle school onwards PS 16 is somewhat like a feeder school for the MS 4 magnet middle school (one of the two magnet middle schools in jersey city), and subsequently the magnet middle school in turn becomes a feeder school into mcnair which is the magnet high school and among the best in nj. the only catch to this is that you might have to take your kids to kumon for most of their elem school days to ensure chances of getting into one of the two magnet middle schools.
commute wise, jersey city downtown has three PATH train stations, two of which are short hops to Penn Station area and all three are well connected to WTC area. plus numerous ferries from multiple points to NYC.
the downside is the any decent 3 bedroom within the PS 16 school zone is 1 million+. at your budget you should be able to get a 2 bedroom condo though easily.
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Further musings
