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Often people who are suffering from trauma or some other sort of mental illness are not fully aware of how bad it is. I honestly think you need therapy for this. Not talking about something doesn't make it go away.
Today across the country if a kid is severely bullied in school and is hurt or dies or slaughters other kids in the school there WILL be litigation. Teachers are now mandated reporters, and now have to take action or report it when a child is abused. Bullies are often the victims of abuse at home themselves, and yes teachers have to report that. I think one reason why crime has gone down is due to the schools and ACS, as despite the fact that ACS messes things up sometimes, the fact ACS has done so many interventions and that parents fear what could happen if ACS gets involved, a lot of them do a lot better job with their kids and neglect them less. There are social and policy reasons why crime declined in the inner city.
Therapy? If every person that's been racially taunted goes to a shrink that'll be the most lucrative profession out there. I think the key to these things in life is if something bothers you so much that it's hurting your ability to take care of yourself or your family then go see a doc. Other than that who cares? I know everyone has their thresholds, but you can't let every little mental thought get in the way of life. Me remembering and telling a personal experience doesn't mean that it's become a mental co*kblock for me. If anything I see it as another semi-valuable life experience. And it's an experience that allows me to call out liberal elitist bulls**t when I see it.
I use to think it's the kids growing up and now that im a parent I put all the blame on the parents. Where else do kids that are only 8-9 years old come up with all their stupid taunts. You even see it within cultural groups too, I used to see hear stuff like Puerto Rican kids accusing a Dominican of floating to the US on a platanos leaf. Non-Mexicam Hispanic kids calling each other Mexicans to poke fun.
And this stuff is contagious, I remember in 5th grade we had this new immigrant Pakistani kid, needless to say that he was the new target. I feel like a loser years later after taking part in the laughing when a bunch of other kids cut up his book bag.
That's so sad; kids do definitely learn from their parents. I always say that educations starts from home. My parents would have whooped my a$$ if I didn't get good grades.
... Though the image of someone floating on a platano leaf like a lily pad is kind of funny.
Therapy? If every person that's been racially taunted goes to a shrink that'll be the most lucrative profession out there. I think the key to these things in life is if something bothers you so much that it's hurting your ability to take care of yourself or your family then go see a doc. Other than that who cares? I know everyone has their thresholds, but you can't let every little mental thought get in the way of life. Me remembering and telling a personal experience doesn't mean that it's become a mental co*kblock for me. If anything I see it as another semi-valuable life experience. And it's an experience that allows me to call out liberal elitist bulls**t when I see it.
"There are two ugly outcomes that stem from learning to view yourself as a less than desirable, incapable individual. The first ugly outcome is that it becomes more likely that you will become increasingly susceptible to becoming depressed and/or angry and/or bitter. Being bullied teaches you that you are undesirable, that you are not safe in the world, and (when it is dished out by forces that are physically superior to yourself) that you are relatively powerless to defend yourself. When you are forced, again and again, to contemplate your relative lack of control over the bullying process, you are being set up for Learned Helplessness (e.g., where you come to believe that you can't do anything to change your ugly situation even if that isn't true), which in turn sets you up for hopelessness and depression."
You show signs of being irrationality bitter, and yes, therapists do give counseling to people who are victims of racial bullying.
Of course, there are people who take it to the point of suicide or homicide. Others become addicts. Or others suffer in other ways.
"There are two ugly outcomes that stem from learning to view yourself as a less than desirable, incapable individual. The first ugly outcome is that it becomes more likely that you will become increasingly susceptible to becoming depressed and/or angry and/or bitter. Being bullied teaches you that you are undesirable, that you are not safe in the world, and (when it is dished out by forces that are physically superior to yourself) that you are relatively powerless to defend yourself. When you are forced, again and again, to contemplate your relative lack of control over the bullying process, you are being set up for Learned Helplessness (e.g., where you come to believe that you can't do anything to change your ugly situation even if that isn't true), which in turn sets you up for hopelessness and depression."
You show signs of being irrationality bitter, and yes, therapists do give counseling to people who are victims of racial bullying.
Of course, there are people who take it to the point of suicide or homicide. Others become addicts. Or others suffer in other ways.
Maybe you're right. Because if someone uses a racial slur against me nowadays I could snap and have snapped back. And if I feel that someone is short changing me because of my race I get angry and may snap back. But personally I don't feel that there's anything wrong with that and it's much better than taking it in mostly silently growing up.Though I will probably give it some thought and come up with more measured responses going forward.
I mean on topics like school it's especially concerning for me because I live on an area with great schools except high schools, and any change in policy would be to my detriment. As busy working parents we already have enough stuff to worry about and don't need additional B.S. from people with no skin in the game dictating our lives especially when I have personal experience going to crappy schools. My wife has been nagging me to move out of NYC for a while now and growing up here I want to stay as much as possible. I already promised her that we would work on buying another house in the burbs if needed, but i still want to keep a property in Queens. Many of her friends have already shunned NYC as an option because of the high schools. A lot of these shenanigans just means that we need to move out of NYC.
Even without policy changes, I see these Stuy kids taking the LIRR home almost everyday when I leave work, and think about all the time wasted commuting everyday just to go to a good high school. These kids probably take the LIRR at 7 in the morning and dont come home till sometime after 6 all just to go to a good school. If we actually had a good high school in the neighborhood like the burbs, which was the case pre-Bloomberg, it would make our lives much easier. It's certainly serious stuff to think about if you have options as a parent in NYC especially being property owners like us. And like I said most parents leave NYC because of this. It's strange when the only people you know that lives in NYC with kids in the office are blacks and East Asians excluding those who can afford private school or choose the Catholic school route. That many educated people making the same decision can't be dumb right? Meanwhile i have one foot out the door with my wife pulling me to leave. If I tell her about the middle school unzoning she would literally freak out. Since she didn't grew up in NYC, the typical higher iincome Chinese response/reason to staying in NYC with kids of "I went to crappy schools look how I turned out" doesn't work on her.
Last edited by bumblebyz; 06-09-2017 at 12:52 PM..
Unless they introduce school bus service. Other than that if you live in a transit desert with good schools you're safe. And if the parents are willing to spend an hour every morning driving their kids to good neighborhoods then most likely they are good parents with decent kids. It's always the me me me people who want something for nothing causing problems.
bingo!
The problem with the kids in underperforming schools are the STUPID PARENTS. Guess what happens when you flood a functional school with stupid?
It takes one or two bad seeds in ANY class to completely derail it for everybody. Trust me when I say this that parents in Bayside/Eastern Queens and most of lower Manhattan will fight to the death to make sure they don't ruin their schools with kids who have idiots for parents.
If they do get this through, you will start seeing a ton of middle class flight from the city. That's when you start selling property and getting the hell out before everything spirals again
The problem with the kids in underperforming schools are the STUPID PARENTS. Guess what happens when you flood a functional school with stupid?
It takes one or two bad seeds in ANY class to completely derail it for everybody. Trust me when I say this that parents in Bayside/Eastern Queens and most of lower Manhattan will fight to the death to make sure they don't ruin their schools with kids who have idiots for parents.
If they do get this through, you will start seeing a ton of middle class flight from the city. That's when you start selling property and getting the hell out before everything spirals again
Glad there's another concerned and aware NYC parent here. Its so hard to have any real conversation on schools in this forum when you don't have many people with skin in the game posting. People think you're crazy for raising serious concerns here. All everyone seem to care about is where's my freebie.
Whether some people admit it or not there are very serious behavior issues with students in "bad" schools that are affecting other students. Shying away from directly talking about these things does nothing. Communities need to first recognize and admit that there are these serious non academic issues and rectify them before any improvement can be made on academics. Charter schools have done a decent job of screening out these problems, but that has only left the problem behind for public schools to clean up. And as a parent actually in NYC I do not want anything to do with these problems either because I have enough of my own and deserve to have free time instead of trying to correct the bad behaviors my kids pick up in school. It's not my job to teach my kids to teach your kids. Put it another way to get people's attention , I didn't smash that booty so why do i have to be the daddy. And once those serious non academic problems are fixed only then should we talk about unzoning.
Last edited by bumblebyz; 06-09-2017 at 01:35 PM..
Charter schools have done a decent job of screening out these problems.
Any kid of any background in any zone within a district can go to a charter school. So obviously they filter out incompetent parents who can't be bothered to make a deadline and fill out a form to enter the lottery a few months before school starts. So in that sense charters are self selecting
Same goes for gifted and talented programs, the parents need to not be so dumb to figure out that they should sign up their kids for testing in December, make an appointment for January, and bother to get the results. Instead they show up on September 1 like, "hey why my kid not in that??"
That's so sad; kids do definitely learn from their parents. I always say that educations starts from home. My parents would have whooped my a$$ if I didn't get good grades.
... Though the image of someone floating on a platano leaf like a lily pad is kind of funny.
Funny until your kid comes home and repeats it. Haha daddy you're Mexican haha....and yes I've seen non-Mexican Hispanics get pissed being called Mexican.
Last edited by bumblebyz; 06-09-2017 at 03:59 PM..
For a kid to get a decent education they need to go to private school.
Can the parents afford the private school tuition?
There are private schools that cost over 40k per year.
It also depends on the private school and the state. Some private schools and some charter will hire unlicensed teachers with graduate degrees.
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