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I highlighted that sentence, not to argue with you, but to bring up something that I see a lot of.
My husband and I are in our fifties. We have five adult kids ranging from age 22 to age 32. Four of the five are completely self sufficient (yay, them and yay, us!). The youngest is still in college.
Due to our ages and the ages of our adult kids, we know a lot of parents whose adult kids have moved back home. They claim to be doing it to "save money," usually. However, they always seem to have enough money to eat out constantly, dress to the nines, drive nice vehicles, and buy the latest electronics and phones.
I have some suggestions if they really want to "save money." But I think the real issue is often that they know that if they moved out, they COULDN'T afford to maintain their current, rather pampered lifestyle.
Plus, they'd have to wash their own dishes and do their own laundry.
I'm not saying that's the case with your sons. I am saying that's the case with the people I know.
Our youngest son is my stepson. He's his dad's only child. He doesn't have a job, and doesn't pay any of his own college expenses. Basically, he refuses to work. Consequently, my husband, though he does pay a portion of his college expenses (which he'd do so anyway, because he wants to help his son through college), refuses to be a vending machine. It's like he says all the time, "Heck,I'd give him MORE money if he'd just get a job!" But my stepson's lifestyle would be cramped by a job! He'd have to take MORNING CLASSES, or get up earlier. He might have to work nights and weekends! OH THE HORROR.
I saw on his FB page the other day this cryptic quote: "I sure will be glad to get out into the real world. Six more years of college seems like such a long time..."
WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT?
We've got news for him - he doesn't have to worry about waiting six more years to get out into the real world. He's got one more year of college on us. After that, it's root, hog or die, baby! (He won't die.)
In this boy's case, he did almost everything right. He had a great internship that turned into a paying position. He was pre-engaged to the girl he had been dating for three years. Then his boss quit, alleging mismanagement of the county money. There went the job. Son and his girlfriend broke up. He went to college in rural GA, and there were no jobs in his field. So, he came home, reluctantly, and worked the same summer job he held all through college while searching for a full time position, which he just landed.
We aren't charging him rent, but we do expect him to save up the necessary funds to move into an apartment within the year. I'm glad we can offer him a place to live, but I think it needs to be temporary.
Our youngest son also graduated in May, and told me "Mom, I love you, but I am never living at home again". "Fair enough son, I love you too." He's working in a research lab, sharing an apartment just off his college campus, while he awaits the results of his PhD program applications. I can't get this kid to accept any money. He is fiercely independent. I admire him.
On the positive side---If you are in a healthy, loving family who willingly invites you to stay at home until you get on your feet, then go for it. Just make sure that you are putting money away (as other posters mentioned) so that you will be able to get out on your own.
Also, be sure that you don't get so comfortable with the situation that the years living at home suddenly stretch on and on. When my younger brothers finished high school, neither wanted to go to college and stayed at home. The older of the 2 got a full-time job at the place where he worked part-time in HS. He was charged rent to live at home ($80/month---this was in the mid-70s). Since he was my mother's favorite child, that rent money included her doing his laundry and cooking his meals plus cleaning the bathroom he used. In other words, he got off easy. Thus, he was in no hurry to leave and go out on his own. It took my father taking a job transfer to the next state over (and not inviting my brother to join them) to get my brother out on his own. He complained to me that they invited the younger brother to come along, but not him. In reality, the older brother had a girlfriend (who later became his wife) and a large circle of friends. He didn't want to move with my parents.
As for the negative side of this:
I have a cousin who was married and had 2 kids. After the kids graduated HS, my cousin and his wife sold their house and bought a new one in a semi-rural area. The wife's boss relocated his office and she wanted to be near her job. The kids followed them there, which at the time, made sense. The daughter was getting her AA degree while working part-time and the son had found full-time work. My cousin's mom pointed out how high rents were in the general area so it made sense to stay at home.
Then the wife left my cousin when she had an affair. Before doing so, she blew through their savings. Meanwhile, my cousin got injured on the job so he was laid up for a while. At this point, the kids didn't want anything to do with their mother.
Fast forward to today---the kids are now in their early 30s and still living with my cousin. My cousin has never found any long term work. He can't sell the house because he bought during the housing boom and is now upside down. His mother helps with the mortgage as do the kids. I hear that they haven't moved on in life because they worry about their dad.
So...make sure you have a plan in place to save money and become independent. If your parents should ever start complaining about how lonely they will be when you move (FWIW, I don't know if this will happen), don't give into emotional blackmail. If you live nearby, you can see them frequently.
Normally I am disgusted by adult children who live with their parents in order to sponge, that is, in order to get out of working a regular full-time job. But that doesn't seem to be the case with the OP here. If the situation is mutually agreeable and the OP is working a full-time job AND contributing something to the household, why not live at home for a year or two in order to sock away some savings toward a down payment on a house, or simply as a large emergency fund?
I understand there is plenty of unused space at the parents' home. Therefore I don't see the harm except possibly (as others have stated) that it would prolong an emotional (as opposed to financial) dependence.
I landed a job right after college that pays an ok salary for my area (60k/year in metro Atlanta). The job is around 10 minutes away (w/o traffic) from my parent's house. The cost of living in the city my parents live is fairly high (the average family income is like 140k/year to give you a reference) and the city my job is located has an even higher rent. I don't want to spend most of my salary on rent. I could live in a cheaper area, but it will be a lot more in commute time.
My parents have more than enough room for me (it's a 5 bedroom house and there's also a mother in law suite - and I'm an only child).
I told a few people about my plan, and they told me it was weird and that I was acting like a spoiled brat. I don't know, I'm still going to do it, but is it really that weird? I read that a lot of people my age (21) are still dependent on their parents/will live with their parents after college.
I just looked on Craig's List for apartments in Atlanta. It looks like you can get a 1-bedroom pretty easily for $600 or $700 per month. Since you're making $60k you have no excuse for "mooching". If you want to stay at home for a year fine, but long term you're missing out on your adulthood if you stay at home, and clearly you have no financial needs to stay at home. A lot of people who do are doing so because rent is too high for their income, which isn't so in your case.
My young adult daughter (23) lives at home. She's a blessing to us -- she works full-time, she likes to cook, she does her own laundry, she is actually far neater than I am, keeps the kitchen tidy, she helps walk the dogs, always asks if we need anything from the grocery store, etc., etc. I will miss her sunshine and enthusiasm dreadfully when she moves out. She's anxious to get her own apartment, but realizes that, financially, it makes more sense to live at home for a little while and build a bit of a nest egg. We don't charge her rent, but she does take care of her own needs/wants. We sat down and worked out a budget the other day for an apartment -- things like renters insurance, cable, electricity, etc., etc. She is extremely mature -- she lived on her own in college, worked and graduated (with honors) in four years. I'm not worried about cramping her emotional growth. :-)
This sounds like a great, healthy, mutually respectful situation for all involved.
It also doesn't sound a thing like the OP's situation at home.
I think some people have been a bit rough on the OP. For the record, I don't think it's bad to live at home for a while after college, but there should be a time limit or plan to leave the house sooner than later. I don't think planning to stay for 5-10 years is a good idea.
The reason some people have been rough on the OP is because many of them are familiar with her other postings on topics such as who should become parents, who should pay for kids' educations, how much she dislikes her parents (especially her mother), etc etc.
Cumulatively speaking, the mindset is pretty appalling.
In this boy's case, he did almost everything right. He had a great internship that turned into a paying position. He was pre-engaged to the girl he had been dating for three years. Then his boss quit, alleging mismanagement of the county money. There went the job. Son and his girlfriend broke up. He went to college in rural GA, and there were no jobs in his field. So, he came home, reluctantly, and worked the same summer job he held all through college while searching for a full time position, which he just landed.
We aren't charging him rent, but we do expect him to save up the necessary funds to move into an apartment within the year. I'm glad we can offer him a place to live, but I think it needs to be temporary.
Our youngest son also graduated in May, and told me "Mom, I love you, but I am never living at home again". "Fair enough son, I love you too." He's working in a research lab, sharing an apartment just off his college campus, while he awaits the results of his PhD program applications. I can't get this kid to accept any money. He is fiercely independent. I admire him.
THIS is a great mindset - thanks for sharing it. It's refreshingly free of dysfunction.
According to the other thread someone referenced, or other phrases I saw as I was looking for it, her parents are paying for all of her college tuition and she thinks people shouldn't have more children than they're able to send to college.
She thinks people shouldn't have ANY children unless they can afford to pay for college. There was something about not passing on your genes if you can't afford to give your child the advantage of a college education.
Which leaves out the people who actually make the world work: school bus drivers, teachers, grocery store clerks, truck drivers, fire fighters..... and every single person who picks the vegetables she eats.
She thinks people shouldn't have ANY children unless they can afford to pay for college. There was something about not passing on your genes if you can't afford to give your child the advantage of a college education.
Which leaves out the people who actually make the world work: school bus drivers, teachers, grocery store clerks, truck drivers, fire fighters..... and every single person who picks the vegetables she eats.
well if google, mercedes, etc manage to get their way, we can automate the jobs that bus drivers, truck drivers, etc have. they don't actually make the world work. The engineers who made the cars and the middle manager who did the math to figure out how to max profits make the world work.
Teachers make on average 60k/year. Assuming 2 teachers get together, that's like 120k/year combined salary. If they have like one child, it's not hard for them to send the kid to college.
Also, are you really advocating grocery store clerks to have children? Why do you want someone who is making min wage to have children? You can't support yourself on min wage. How is having a child a good idea?
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