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I also agree to get a job while you are looking. While you don't have to work at Walmart, you certainly don't have to put it on your resume or tell potential employers.
There is NO shame in supporting yourself any way you can.
I still say you need to keep the same hours as those who OWN the house even if they are your parents. And get out and job hunt at the library if you can't at home. 8 hours a day, no excuses. If you can't find a job soon take any job to get you out of the house. A person needs to keep busy and not fall into free loading staying up all night and sleeping all day. That is wrong. You can't just sit around waiting for the perfect job to handed to you on a silver platter. Get out there and work at working. Get your certificates, do something. 8 hours a day.
It's great that your parents are able to do this for you but don't forget that they don't *have to*- and don't forget that you are now disrupting their lives. I know you're family and all, but you don't sound grateful.
If you truly want to help someone, be it a family member or friend, you just help them. You don't constantly stand in judgement and be a critic of every action they do. This isn't doing anyone a favor by allowing them to stay there while they get their act together to be subjected to an entirely negative experience. This reminds me of those people who are given food, but forced to listen to someone attempting to convert them to their religion. Someone is starving, if not for food, but shelter and it is wrong to treat them like they are now your personal property and you get to impose your will on them. Someone is in need, offer them the help, but be respectful. It's a very hard thing to ask for and accept help, so it shouldn't be doubling punishing to be causing them additional stress from the situation.
Last edited by eastcoastguyz; 06-14-2017 at 09:18 PM..
The last time I lived at home, I made it a point to be out of the house by 9 am. I got coffee and/or went to the library, but the main idea was that I was dressed and not underfoot.
You are confusing keeping up appearances with actually doing what is most needed.
I see no reason to go to the library dressed if you can do the same thing from the comfort of your bedroom with a computer. Job searching is a full-time job, and getting dressed to pretend it is like a job and leaving the house by 9 AM with your coffee to fool the neighbors and yourself you still have a job doesn't produce a better outcome. In fact, it is a waste of time. It is what you do with the time that does count and that can be done with your computer at home. There are almost zero resources at the library these days for a job search if you have internet access and a working computer at home.
No matter how unreasonable their nagging is, you are in their home so you abide by their requirements. I am surprised that others think you can do what you want and still expect to live at home. Unless you are contributing to the rent and expenses you are not "owed" anything.
I would suggest setting a schedule close to a job schedule and leave the house to do your job hunting. Take your laptop to a library or Starbucks and spend time there. That way your parents can't scrutinize how you spend your time. If you are staying up late and sleeping in late I can sort of understand their irritation. With older generations a good work ethic is tied to getting up early but sleeping in is tied to laziness.
So your solution, is allow yourself to be treated like an out of control teenager.
He's only been there a month, and is actively involved in a job search. It's not like he's been there a year or two, and is just slobbing around & playing video games all day. I find it dismaying that people feel that an adult child in the middle of a career change living at home for a couple of months to look for a job is somehow beyond the pale, and a grave imposition. "Family" doesn't seem to be worth much in American culture.
I agree.
People seem to think if you aren't making any money, that you are just a bum partying all the time.
He's just his father. Not his master. He isn't a dog who has to obey commands or not given a treat.
So by your logic, if I take out out to lunch and pay for the meal, I get to talk you how to eat, how to speak and what you should do with your life? Because I paid for the meal I own you?
Well to be fair, the door isn't solid in that it lets some light through but I do spend most of my time during the day on my PC job hunting and it's away from my parents so it shouldn't bother them.
I agree with you that time spent in a dead end McJob just to show I'm employed is not the most productive usage of my time.
If light is the issue, then stuff some towels under the door. If that isn't enough, put in a Velcro black-out curtain on your side of the door. When you close it, you can put up the curtain to block any light from coming out.
I also agree to get a job while you are looking. While you don't have to work at Walmart, you certainly don't have to put it on your resume or tell potential employers.
There is NO shame in supporting yourself any way you can.
I don't agree. It doesn't have to do with shame. It has to do with time. When looking for a professional job, you need to spend all day doing this and be available. You can't be working at Target collecting carts and answer your cell phone and conduct an interview with HR. People who work in HR also aren't very bright and if the OP isn't available when they call and to interview immediately on their schedule, they will just move to another candidate.
I know this is hard for some people to grasp, but finding a good professional job takes time. It isn't just applying for the jobs, but learning about the companies and keeping up on trends. These things take time too.
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