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But if would have been your idea to allow him to move back in when you could have just denied him room and board. So essentially you created the frustration and ain't a victim.
Actually, see, no, I wouldn't have allowed him to come back. That's why I asked the OP if he had asked his parents ahead of time if it was ok for him to quit his career and come home.
I agree with the ideas of leaving the house in the morning, let's say 9-10am to go to a library but when my parents aren't nagging/arguing, then it's actually quieter here. But yes, I could try to do job hunting/follow ups/taking notes (I used a spreadsheet to track the progress) for half the work day and study at least 2-3 hrs a day, maybe more if the mood suits.
Except for the morning walk, today I spent most of the time at their house as I was waiting for a company to get back to me for a phone interview that never materialized. I kept myself busy with job hunting and my dad didn't hassle me. Mom did ask just now what happened to such and such a company, didn't they invite you for an interview (didn't work out, maybe I'll update my work & employment thread accordingly). Another company is advancing me through the hiring process (no written offer yet) but they did send me some online personality test to do after the initial phone interview. I explained this to my mom and she was skeptical about the use...oh! (so to her neither company is doing enough to hire me and I guess that's wasted time to her?). I really should try to apply some of the tips given in this thread about what to say...maybe sound optimistic with the process and just say it's going well, thanks for asking! But she asks details so hard to skate around what actually happened with one company or another.
It is very clear to me they want you OUT. And they have all right to. It is THEIR house. They don't want you there. You asked to move back and now all you have is complaints.
Focus on your job hunt, do the chores around the house, be a good son/daughter, and then GTFO once you can.
You are living there for free or at least cheap. How about being a little thankful for what they do for you? I know if I spend more than a few weeks with my parents, we go on each others nerves. Thats why adult children move out.
Keep your head down, keep applying and be nice to your parents. We only have one set and they won't last forever.
I agree with you that time spent in a dead end McJob just to show I'm employed is not the mostproductive usage of my time.
Can't you see how this makes you sound? You have a sense of entitlement and a chip on your shoulder that it's somehow beneath you to at least earn some money to help contribute to the family finances. There are 24 hours in a day and allowing for 8 for sleeping what are you doing with the other 16 hours? Surely not all of that is spent doing a job search.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1986pacecar
Can't you see how this makes you sound? You have a sense of entitlement and a chip on your shoulder that it's somehow beneath you to at least earn some money to help contribute to the family finances. There are 24 hours in a day and allowing for 8 for sleeping what are you doing with the other 16 hours? Surely not all of that is spent doing a job search.
OP kind of has a point. A McJob would leave her with less available time to search and as far as utility 20 hours a week at $8 an hour is kind of a waste of time.
If OP went the job for now route, they would be better off doing temp work. Probably more sense money wise and not as bad as McD's as far as the resume goes.
OP kind of has a point. A McJob would leave her with less available time to search and as far as utility 20 hours a week at $8 an hour is kind of a waste of time.
If OP went the job for now route, they would be better off doing temp work. Probably more sense money wise and not as bad as McD's as far as the resume goes.
Well, considering the OP is not even motivated enough to finish exams on his certifications which would give him more power in his resume, I doubt any of this talk about getting a job matters.
Yeah, my parents were Richards like that, so I made sure never to spend a night at their house after I was 15.
I guess you thought you could trust them, huh?
Well, live and learn, you will get your job and fly away, right?
If I were you, though, I would try another living arrangement. They won't change.
What do you mean by your parents were Richards? Indeed, I thought they'd have my back. It's nice to get a break on room and board but it would be more productive of them to encourage me through this transition period rather than berate me in my face and behind my back. I have helped out my parents in some ways since my return, helped them sell some stuff by creating ads, corresponding with potential buyers, making appointments, showing merchandise, closing deals. Otherwise I help clean up after dinner like washing/drying dishes. Help a bit with the laundry but mom prefers to do it herself.
But yes, I'm looking to relocate and do have the intention to create more distance once I land a job.
Why are you hanging out at home waiting for a possible phone interview? This is 2017! Get out of the house and they have less time to hassle you!
Well obviously I wasn't just hanging out waiting by the phone I was doing other productive stuff that a job hunter will do. Do you want me to list the tasks in the way that my mom asked me the other day?
Anyway, if not at their place, do you have suggestions on where to go to do phone / video interviews when a potential employer does call? Noisy coffee shop is not ideal and cell phones/talking are often forbidden or certainly would disturb other library patrons.
But yes, getting out of the house would result in less opportunity for them to hassle me. I just don't know if it's the best move because the other day I missed two calls from a potential employer (weirdly enough the man called on a weekend and didn't leave voice mail, nor did he warn me he would call with an email in advance). Luckily the company smartened up and did email me after to schedule the phone interview and the process is going as expected.
It is very clear to me they want you OUT. And they have all right to. It is THEIR house. They don't want you there. You asked to move back and now all you have is complaints.
Focus on your job hunt, do the chores around the house, be a good son/daughter, and then GTFO once you can.
You are living there for free or at least cheap. How about being a little thankful for what they do for you? I know if I spend more than a few weeks with my parents, we go on each others nerves. Thats why adult children move out.
Keep your head down, keep applying and be nice to your parents. We only have one set and they won't last forever.
I also get the sense that the OP is not necessarily being as open and honest with the parents about the job-hunting process. They are asking questions and not getting back decent responses.
Sure, there's a likely generational gap that needs to be bridged, but the OP shouldn't be reticent about sharing info with his parents. Withholding information would be a red flag that the OP is not necessarily being honest about the amount of time looking for a job and is, instead, using this time to take a no-expenses vacation from reality.
I'm a little confused. You first state that you went back to school to facilitate a career move. Did you finish your schooling? If so, did that come with certifications?
That leads to the next section where you indicate one of the potential employers wants you to pass some certification exams. And yet, you are complaining that your parents are pushing you to get some "optional certfications" (what the heck is an optional certification?).
On the surface, what you describe does not make you look good. It sounds like you are spending most of your time on your computer, some of which may be used in job hunting, but it doesn't sound as though you are dedicated. If you were, you would have jumped at the chance for additional education and resume padding at a time in which time and expenses were of very little concern.
Did your parents have an issue with the amount of time you spent on your computer when you lived there previously?
You make them sound controlling. What I sense is parents that are concerned their child is not going to succeed at the level they believe he is capable and are trying to figure out ways to point you in the right direction.
I'd suggest you re-think your strategy.
I'll clarify my situation a bit in case confusion remains.
Yes, my schooling is done. No, certifications are not included. It's up to students to do self-study, make appointments to write the exams and hopefully pass (passing grade is much higher than 60%) and later on become certified by companies that demand them. One caveat: if you fail the exams more than once, penalties apply: you are barred from redoing them until 15-30-45 days,etc. later. So you better be sure you're ready before retaking them. That's why I don't like the fact my parents pressured me (and this caused arguments) to get them done ASAP when clearly my heart wasn't 100% into doing the amount of studying I needed to do to pass them. My time continues to be spent more on job hunting than studying.
I also moved out of my parents' place a long time ago. I held some entry level jobs, felt I could do better and quit my last ****ty call center job with a high turnover rate so I could go back to school. Doing so required moving, renting rooms in another city, completing the school and now I'm back at my parents' place so I could save some money during this period of unemployment. Sure I could have used savings but I have a student loan to pay back and would like to avoid further debt if I can during this lean period. Hopefully this will be temporary and things will improve when I get a full time job.
I'll clarify my situation a bit in case confusion remains.
Yes, my schooling is done. No, certifications are not included. It's up to students to do self-study, make appointments to write the exams and hopefully pass (passing grade is much higher than 60%) and later on become certified by companies that demand them. One caveat: if you fail the exams more than once, penalties apply: you are barred from redoing them until 15-30-45 days,etc. later. So you better be sure you're ready before retaking them. That's why I don't like the fact my parents pressured me (and this caused arguments) to get them done ASAP when clearly my heart wasn't 100% into doing the amount of studying I needed to do to pass them. My time continues to be spent more on job hunting than studying.
I also moved out of my parents' place a long time ago. I held some entry level jobs, felt I could do better and quit my last ****ty call center job with a high turnover rate so I could go back to school. Doing so required moving, renting rooms in another city, completing the school and now I'm back at my parents' place so I could save some money during this period of unemployment. Sure I could have used savings but I have a student loan to pay back and would like to avoid further debt if I can during this lean period. Hopefully this will be temporary and things will improve when I get a full time job.
My wife and I have both taken more than a few certification tests. We found that it was critical that we took the tests as quickly as we possibly could, once the class completed. Most classes offered the opportunity to take the exam at the end and there was only one time that either of us waited - and it was a disaster.
My wife didn't feel ready to take a Windows 2008 cert test and wanted additional time to study, but she didn't have the same resources (teacher, classmates) to bounce ideas off, and it took her four attempts to pass the test.
You may or may not have been ready to take the tests - everyone handles classes a little differently. But your parents were right to push you to take them ASAP. Every day you don't take the tests, a little of that knowledge goes to waste.
Are you actively studying for the exams while you are awaiting the interviews?
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