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Status:
"It's WARY, or LEERY (weary means tired)"
(set 14 days ago)
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
16,120 posts, read 21,263,056 times
Reputation: 43802
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sedonaverde
As for job search suggestions, my mom has already suggested (I didn't ask for help) I try to find small time gigs like delivering flyers door to door and babysitting but I'm hesitant because doing stuff like that will take away time that should be spent hunting in my field and both are low paid.
No reason you can't work and job hunt, and babysitting is typically nights/weekends so shouldn't be any conflict there. Sounds like mom would like to see you bringing more to the table than just a little grocery money.
As for job search suggestions, my mom has already suggested (I didn't ask for help) I try to find small time gigs like delivering flyers door to door and babysitting but I'm hesitant because doing stuff like that will take away time that should be spent hunting in my field and both are low paid.
That is a cop-out and is not fair to your parents, who have to put up with you being in their home.
As for job search suggestions, my mom has already suggested (I didn't ask for help) I try to find small time gigs like delivering flyers door to door and babysitting but I'm hesitant because doing stuff like that will take away time that should be spent hunting in my field and both are low paid.
Oh come on, that sounds like excuse making, not like you would be doing those gigs 10 hours a day for six days a week or that you will spend all day hunting for a job. How much job hunting have you done since you've been home?
He is in his mid-20s and living with us again. He got demoted a few years ago. I didn't feel the need to tell anyone about it. You know why? He asked me not to. I've got his back and he knows it. Now he has moved on to a much better job and you better believe I spread that news!
To all of you with a callous attitude toward the OP, I hope you never need your kids to care for you when you are elderly. They just might turn that callousness back on you. I can just hear it, "Guess who wet the bed again last night? "
Oh come on, that sounds like excuse making, not like you would be doing those gigs 10 hours a day for six days a week or that you will spend all day hunting for a job. How much job hunting have you done since you've been home?
Ellen: Well, he’s been out of work for close to seven years.
Clark: In seven years, he couldn’t find a job?
Ellen: Cathrine says, he’s been holding out for a management position.
No reason you can't work and job hunt, and babysitting is typically nights/weekends so shouldn't be any conflict there. Sounds like mom would like to see you bringing more to the table than just a little grocery money.
Actually the potential babysitting gig she suggested is during business hours and requires usage of a car , plus gas of course. It would be to bail out a single mom who works at a dollar store during the day hence the low pay. Likely get stuck in afternoon traffic, again being unavailable for interviews and job apps.
Following a recent job loss without notice, nor severance pay, I found myself returning to the city and using my parents' spare room that I occupied for 3 months prior to relocating to a new job. Since my return it's been less than a week and I was able to secure an interview in another city so I am not at their place 100% of the time.
There is one issue that we disagree on and that is the announcement that I'm staying with them (again) and why (job loss, plus the reasons). Truth be told it's an embarrassing situation to get fired. The problem is that my extended family, in particular my SIL and parents are nosy people, especially the mother. She's a gossip who talks about everyone and keeps pestering for details even when I told my parents not to tell them anything. My mom thinks I'm being too secretive and my dad says that one of the conditions of living with them (again, temporarily) is that I need to be OK with my mom telling my SIL everything she wants to know (and I know it will then spread). A family friend actually discovered my parents' car parked on the street for a few days in a row instead of on their driveway and asked about it and then my dad revealed that I'm back and that my (their 2nd one, actually) car is parked in their 1 reserved spot and that's why their car is on the street. I know that once the nosy extended family members find out I'm back and lost my job, they'll be asking all kinds of details, they'll be gossiping and judging, why did the employer cut me loose, why did I go back to school before that, was it a waste of time, money, why did it fail, could I have done something to prevent it, where am I going next? (some of these questions were exactly the ones I was bombarded with the last time I was job hunting. If it were up to me, I would tell people who are known gossips very little to no information at all.
How would you deal with parents who want to reveal all kinds of personal info about you to friends and family while you prefer them to keep a lid on it (and have stated your position as such)? My dad actually said that while I'm living with them I have to accept that information will be spread about me and if I'm not happy, to go live somewhere else. He said it in a joking manner but I think he was serious. My mom just laughed. I should also mention that I do offer to pick up groceries, have done it once and will do it again today, plus some of the food I've bought gets shared with my parents, so they are not footing 100% of the bill.
They may not be footing 100% of the bill but I bet it is more than 95%. Are you paying them rent, board, utilities? Probably not.
Your parents do not want to hide anything that can easily be found out and I don't blame them (the car parking already shows that they are correct). It will just cause them problems down the road so they are right for not wanting to hide it especially from your SIL. Whether you like it or not (I suspect not), she is a member of your family and they have to deal with her long after you find a new job and are gone.
You had to know that this issue would come up so why did you move in with your parents to begin with? You do not indicate how old you are but I am guessing you are an adult but are acting like a child. The only way to stop people from talking about you is to stop doing things to make them talk. I am guessing that has not been the case.
Also realize that your parents owe you nothing. I am not sure why you think they do. They raised you and now that you are grown, their obligations are over if THEY choose it to be. Welcome to the real world.
The best thing now is to stop trying to force others to live by your unreasonable rules especially when you are living in their home and eating the food they bought. Get a new job and work your a** off to keep it this time otherwise the same thing will happen again. Jay
Status:
"It's WARY, or LEERY (weary means tired)"
(set 14 days ago)
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
16,120 posts, read 21,263,056 times
Reputation: 43802
Quote:
Originally Posted by sedonaverde
Actually the potential babysitting gig she suggested is during business hours and requires usage of a car , plus gas of course. It would be to bail out a single mom who works at a dollar store during the day hence the low pay. Likely get stuck in afternoon traffic, again being unavailable for interviews and job apps.
Not ideal, but if you wanted you could probably make it work because you don't have to 'be available' to put in apps for most jobs, all you need is computer access, and interviews are usually scheduled far enough in advance I would think you'd be able to find a way to be available for several hours on the day of. In any event it sounds like your mom thinks you should be working at something while you job search, and if that job won't do then maybe you should think about finding one that will.
Following a recent job loss without notice, nor severance pay, I found myself returning to the city and using my parents' spare room that I occupied for 3 months prior to relocating to a new job. Since my return it's been less than a week and I was able to secure an interview in another city so I am not at their place 100% of the time.
There is one issue that we disagree on and that is the announcement that I'm staying with them (again) and why (job loss, plus the reasons). Truth be told it's an embarrassing situation to get fired. The problem is that my extended family, in particular my SIL and parents are nosy people, especially the mother. She's a gossip who talks about everyone and keeps pestering for details even when I told my parents not to tell them anything. My mom thinks I'm being too secretive and my dad says that one of the conditions of living with them (again, temporarily) is that I need to be OK with my mom telling my SIL everything she wants to know (and I know it will then spread). A family friend actually discovered my parents' car parked on the street for a few days in a row instead of on their driveway and asked about it and then my dad revealed that I'm back and that my (their 2nd one, actually) car is parked in their 1 reserved spot and that's why their car is on the street. I know that once the nosy extended family members find out I'm back and lost my job, they'll be asking all kinds of details, they'll be gossiping and judging, why did the employer cut me loose, why did I go back to school before that, was it a waste of time, money, why did it fail, could I have done something to prevent it, where am I going next? (some of these questions were exactly the ones I was bombarded with the last time I was job hunting. If it were up to me, I would tell people who are known gossips very little to no information at all.
How would you deal with parents who want to reveal all kinds of personal info about you to friends and family while you prefer them to keep a lid on it (and have stated your position as such)? My dad actually said that while I'm living with them I have to accept that information will be spread about me and if I'm not happy, to go live somewhere else. He said it in a joking manner but I think he was serious. My mom just laughed. I should also mention that I do offer to pick up groceries, have done it once and will do it again today, plus some of the food I've bought gets shared with my parents, so they are not footing 100% of the bill.
Another thing, since when is a sister-in-law considered "extended family"? In my family she would be considered a immediate family member since I assume she is married to your brother. Extended family to me means cousins and maybe aunts and uncles but definitely not a SIL. Jay
Actually the potential babysitting gig she suggested is during business hours and requires usage of a car , plus gas of course. It would be to bail out a single mom who works at a dollar store during the day hence the low pay. Likely get stuck in afternoon traffic, again being unavailable for interviews and job apps.
Have you signed up on Indeed.com? Glassceiling.com is also a good place to find company reviews and job listings. If you aren’t working while you are living at their home, they will be convinced you are doing nothing. You might not find work in your desired field, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get a job.
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