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The OP sounds like a spoiled child IMHO who thinks that her parents and the world has to live by her rules. Sorry it does not work that way. The sooner she learns that, the sooner she will grow up and accept the responsibility for her actions which is a MAJOR problem with a lot of kids these days. Jay
Nope, I didn't lie at all. When asked, I would say, "He is still working at xxx company." I just didn't volunteer the fact that he had been demoted.
If I were in the situation of the OP's mom, and the SIL asked what the OP was doing at home, I would simply say, "You will have to ask him/her." Period.
In my family a SIL is a close family member. The mother has every right to tell her daughter-in-law what she wants. If she does not, it could affect her relationship with her. Your situation is VERY different. You said your son is still working which is the truth but the OP is trying to control things by not having her mother say anything. So what you did would be against the wishes of the OP. And saying "ask her" to the SIL is insulting. It basically saying she is not a part of the mother's immediate family. I am nto sure why people don't get that. Jay
I don't dislike SIL so much, what I dislike is that relied on others to drive her around for years and now that she has kids and really needs a driver's license and car (they have one that can be used , she just can't drive it yet), she's been counting on my mom for a long time and wearing out my dad's car in the process with rush hour bumper to bumper traffic. Do you know how hard it is on a car's components to constantly stop and go in traffic?
SIL is an OK person and a good mother to her kids, it's just this request to pick up a kid from daycare has my mom putting unnecessary pressure on me and my dad getting all upset just because mom couldn't keep her mouth shut about the fact I'm not employed full time.
You are exactly what is wrong with our society today. You are selfish and not willing to extend yourself for even a close family member. Those kids are your nieces or nephews. You SHOULD want what is best for them and carting them around on public transit is not really what is best. Stop thinking of yourself for once and do something for someone without expecting something in return. The world would be a lot better place if more people did that instead of being selfish brats like you.
Oh, and your father should be thinking the same thing for his grandchildren and not worrying about the few pennies it is going to cost him for the wear and tear on the car he pays for. I suspect (or at least hope) if he thought of it that way, his opinion would change. If not then I see where you attitude comes from. Jay
You are exactly what is wrong with our society today. You are selfish and not willing to extend yourself for even a close family member. Those kids are your nieces or nephews. You SHOULD want what is best for them and carting them around on public transit is not really what is best. Stop thinking of yourself for once and do something for someone without expecting something in return. The world would be a lot better place if more people did that instead of being selfish brats like you.
Oh, and your father should be thinking the same thing for his grandchildren and not worrying about the few pennies it is going to cost him for the wear and tear on the car he pays for. I suspect (or at least hope) if he thought of it that way, his opinion would change. If not then I see where you attitude comes from. Jay
Dad already doesn't approve of his main car being used by my mom to taxi their grandkids around and since he was the main breadwinner for years even after he was semi retired, his preference should be respected. So by declining to help out SIL with this task, I'm actually respecting my father's wishes and at the same time making myself available for job hunting, interviews and when I accept an offer, an actual full time job. The driving gig, while it may be some extra pocket change is not going to help my career. And frankly my dad doesn't want his 2nd car to be used by me for this purpose anyway. So really it's out of my hands.
Last edited by JayCT; 11-09-2017 at 10:02 AM..
Reason: Removed calling out Moderator
Status:
"It's WARY, or LEERY (weary means tired)"
(set 15 days ago)
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
16,121 posts, read 21,267,051 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21
I guess my son is pretty lucky.
He is in his mid-20s and living with us again. He got demoted a few years ago. I didn't feel the need to tell anyone about it. You know why? He asked me not to. I've got his back and he knows it. Now he has moved on to a much better job and you better believe I spread that news!
To all of you with a callous attitude toward the OP, I hope you never need your kids to care for you when you are elderly. They just might turn that callousness back on you. I can just hear it, "Guess who wet the bed again last night? "
So is it only gossip and a bad thing if it's bad news? OP wants to be able to control everything said about her from the sound of it. I think it's more that she's overly embarrassed about a fairly common situation and somehow wishing that no one need find out that she is living back home again for a while. That isn't very realistic and it's not callous to tell her so.
Last edited by DubbleT; 11-08-2017 at 10:24 AM..
Reason: PS moderators are members too, and allowed to post opinions on threads while not wearing their mod hats
Dad already doesn't approve of his main car being used by my mom to taxi their grandkids around and since he was the main breadwinner for years even after he was semi retired, his preference should be respected. So by declining to help out SIL with this task, I'm actually respecting my father's wishes and at the same time making myself available for job hunting, interviews and when I accept an offer, an actual full time job. The driving gig, while it may be some extra pocket change is not going to help my career. And frankly my dad doesn't want his 2nd car to be used by me for this purpose anyway. So really it's out of my hands.
That aside, isn't a moderator supposed to take a neutral stance, as in moderate users when they get out of line, not bash an OP like you are doing? Sheesh.
I'm a software engineer. And in the recession year, at 2009, I lost my job. So, I drove a cab to get some money and sent resumes while waiting for customers in the train station. This job is very flexible and you can go to interviews whenever you want. Why won't you drive a cab or Uber? I made about 4000-5000 clear before taxes.
I'm a software engineer. And in the recession year, at 2009, I lost my job. So, I drove a cab to get some money and sent resumes while waiting for customers in the train station. This job is very flexible and you can go to interviews whenever you want. Why won't you drive a cab or Uber? I made about 4000-5000 clear before taxes.
The OP is too spoiled and arrogant to consider doing something like that. The OP would rather sponge off of Mom and Dad.
With all due respect, OP, if you have not been diagnosed with ADHD (or other "similar" disorder) before, I'd highly recommend you seeing a psychiatrist in your area who deals with adult ADHD to be tested and get proper treatment. I've not read any thread of yours that hasn't sent up a million "flags" in my mind, as someone who lives with a spouse who has ADHD and whose mother in law also has it.
I'm a software engineer. And in the recession year, at 2009, I lost my job. So, I drove a cab to get some money and sent resumes while waiting for customers in the train station. This job is very flexible and you can go to interviews whenever you want. Why won't you drive a cab or Uber? I made about 4000-5000 clear before taxes.
You used to be able to make good money with Uber but past performance does not guarantee future results. Besides do you think my dad wants me to use his car, a car that has to be returned to the dealer soon, as a taxi and expose it to strangers barfing and damaging it? I think not.
I managed to find my job, in my field, while working a FT and PT job. I agree finding this job should be your top priority, but people everywhere find new jobs and don't need 24/7 to do so. Find something in the evening so your mornings and afternoons are still free. There's so many options, you just refuse to do them. I also suggest getting your own car as soon as you can once you get things settled. The whole thing with your dad and the leased vehicles is ridiculous, it's just one more thing tying you to them.
And as annoyed and frustrated as you may be, you should be thankful your parents still support you financially as much as they do. Just lay low and do what you have to do to get yourself out of there.
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Jay
