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So, nothing she'll ever do is enough. Clearly you'll just move the goal posts to suit yourself.
Did your dad beat and mistreated your wife too?
Oh no, we are back with this OP again with; once again; a plea for help with family that will be ignored, deflected, and bickered over ad nauseum. Shocked he's started another thread after that previous epic. Inquiring minds want to know....why do you even ask if you refuse to hear?
Have fun, those of you with more stamina. Meanwhile, I'll be happily chipping ice off the deck.
Last edited by Parnassia; 02-08-2018 at 03:50 PM..
The sister lives in New York City and the depressed father lives in Northern California near the son.
There is nothing the sister can do. It is a futile goal by the OP to get her involved. A person living in NYC cannot be helpful to a person living in Northern California. It's just not realistic.
And your sister has employment and a job to hold down.
Flying in for just a couple days is futile for really helping the situation.
OP, I would stop hassling your sister and stop trying to force her and expecting her to try to do something.
You've hired a full-time live-in nurse for your father.....which is way more attentiveness than most people have. You can stop putting all of your energies toward your father and just let the nurse handle it.
I havent read the whole thread, but what if the roles were reversed? What if the OP lived in NY with his family, and his father was in California? What would he do? Really?
You need to resign yourself to the fact that, in this situation, you have no sister. This is not something she wants to get involved with, period. So you do what you feel like you have to do, and stop whining because your sister isnt doing what you think she should do. She is doing exactly what she should do, which is what is best for her.
Even if the sister had NOT been emotionally hurt or emotionally abused by the father, I feel the sister still has no obligation to try to do anything since she lives and works in NYC and everything with the father is taking place in Northern California.
It's just futile and unrealistic to think someone in NYC can help a depressed person in Northern California.
so your sister bought your daughter a 1000 phone that you promised your daughter but couldn't afford, and now that your sister won't do what you want you think she is apathetic. Sounds like you are the problem, not your sister.
I know this is amazing to hear but people who were abused as children don't want to deal with their abuser as an adult. However reading your post's its amazing how close the apple falls from the tree
Even if the sister had NOT been emotionally hurt or emotionally abused by the father, I feel the sister still has no obligation to try to do anything since she lives and works in NYC and everything with the father is taking place in Northern California.
It's just futile and unrealistic to think someone in NYC can help a depressed person in Northern California.
Flying in for a couple days is worthless.
I agree in part. Flying in for a couple of days is worthless, agreed. But a non-estranged child living thousands of miles away might be able to help out financially, or by doing research (via the internet, and by phone) on what care options might be available in the parent's city. And, of course, serve as an emotional support for the closer sibling who's doing the ground work.
But in this case there's bad blood between father and daughter, and that complicates things mightily.
I agree in part. Flying in for a couple of days is worthless, agreed. But a non-estranged child living thousands of miles away might be able to help out financially, or by doing research (via the internet, and by phone) on what care options might be available in the parent's city. And, of course, serve as an emotional support for the closer sibling who's doing the ground work.
But in this case there's bad blood between father and daughter, and that complicates things mightily.
The sister has no financial obligation. Let the father pay for his own needs. He already has care - a full-time live-in nurse - so the sister does not need to do internet searches. She could look for depression treatment (therapy/counseling) for the father - using the internet - if she wishes. But the OP and the nurse could also do internet searches.
A daughter has no financial obligation to pay for a father's depression needs.
The live-in full-time nurse is also quite over-kill - a home service 99 percent of depressed people would not have. There may be a psychiatric facility where he could live for a while and get psychiatric treatment, if his insurance would pay for it. (if he has insurance - didn't catch his age or work-status)
Last edited by matisse12; 02-08-2018 at 05:07 PM..
Have fun, those of you with more stamina. Meanwhile, I'll be happily chipping ice off the deck.
Heck, I went to the dentist to avoid reading the latest updates on this thread.
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