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I have major issues with the Catholic Church and I won’t step foot in one. My friend is mad at me because I told her I cannot come to the ceremony. I told her I would like to attend the reception. Now she doesn’t want to come at all. Which is fine. It’s her day.
Is it necessary to go to the ceremony?
Yes.
Her wedding has nothing to do with your personal issues with the church. It’s not about you. It’s about her.
The way to have handled this is to simply decline the invite and say you are unavilable. Don't tell the bride about your issues with the Catholic church. It's tacky to refuse to go to the wedding but ask to attend the reception. As others have said, your friend's wedding is about her, not about you and your issues.
And I am speaking as someone who also has serious issues with the Catholic church.
Well that ship has sailed.
Besides with people like the OP it always about them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gouligann
I would have been very hurt if one of my friends had told me the same thing as to why they wouldn't attend my wedding.
OP, you certainly have your reasons for not supporting the Catholic system. I too, dislike organized religion and churches, but seeing a friend get married is more important to me than letting my distain stop me from attending.
The last Catholic wedding I attended was done by a priest who spewed fire and brimstone about marriages and unions being ONLY between a MAN and WOMAN. I didn't count how many times he said that, but it was very obvious he was anti gay.
I know that is the church's belief, but going on and on during a wedding ceremony isn't the right time or place to preach anti-gay bullcrap. I might get bashed here, but I think at least half of Catholic priests ARE GAY.
Although I am straight, I came out of there disgusted. I'm so glad the small circle of our gay friends weren't in attendance. Knowing one outspoken and very funny woman in the group, I think she would have snorted or said/done something to crack everyone up.
Please, and what year was this?
I was raised Catholic but don't really practice the religion.
IDK how it is in Canada, but here in California IDK of any Catholic churches that have this attitude. In fact the local one has a LGBT ministry.
Ridiculous to base your opinion on one priest....ridiculous.
Last edited by seain dublin; 02-24-2018 at 09:28 AM..
You are a self-important person. What a horrible thing to do to a friend.
In truth, you didn't just tell her you couldn't go. You basically assailed her religious choices at the same time, dragging whatever beef you have into the middle of what should be the happiest day of her life.
Satisfied now?
I remember witnessing a baptism once. In our church, it's typically infant baptism, the kind where a little water gets sprinkled atop the baby's head. Some denominations think it should be full immersion of adults. Okay, a difference of opinion, right?
A lovely couple was baptizing their daughter at our church. He was formerly Church of Christ, as is his family. His family sat in the back and when it became time to baptize the daughter, they all rose as one and walked out in protest.
In other words, they took what was a beautiful moment in the life of this couple and did their level best to destroy it, much the way you're doing right now. You are those people. You are deciding that your antagonisms need to be aired in public protest at a time and place of your choosing, regardless of how your little tantrum makes other people feel.
I don't know if you realize this, but it's not all about you all the time. It's not about your opinions about the Catholic church, Christianity, the institution of marriage or anything else. In this situation, it's about a woman and a man who want to spend their lives together, celebrating their union in front of their family and friends. It was going to be a beautiful, transcendent moment in their lives until you decide to introduce your spite and ugliness into the occasion. Hey, any other time, I'd be with you. The sex scandal in the Catholic church was grotesque beyond belief. But not this time.
Either sit quietly in the back of the church and watch your friend get hitched, or don't go and arrive at the reception. In a church full of people, it's not as if she is going to be taking roll anyway.
Nope. You just had to let her know your feelings on the subject as if anyone gave a damn. Mind you, this isn't even about religious convictions. This is about you interposing your worldview on others.
Shame on you for your arrogance and self-righteousness.
There is term for someone like this.
People who have to make everything about them, and get a "kick" out of messing up or attempting to mess up someone else's big day. Could be a holiday, a birthday party, etc. They get a rise out of doing this.
People like this can't be friends with anyone, because it's always about them, and playing the victim(which includes making up stories) is also a technique.
Wedding invites go out months in advance, you RSVP "no", end of story.
You don't bring this up to the bride, unless you purposely want to upset her.
I have major issues with the Catholic Church and I won’t step foot in one. My friend is mad at me because I told her I cannot come to the ceremony. I told her I would like to attend the reception. Now she doesn’t want to come at all. Which is fine. It’s her day.
You're fine with your choice, so the whole forum post is rather moot and perhaps intended to just drum up a dramatic conversation.
Telling a friend that you will not attend her wedding because your brother was molested by a priest is one step over from telling your friend you think her wedding somehow supports child molestation. I might have missed something in the thread, but I certainly hope the OP didn't do this.
I have major issues with the Catholic Church and I won’t step foot in one. My friend is mad at me because I told her I cannot come to the ceremony. I told her I would like to attend the reception. Now she doesn’t want to come at all. Which is fine. It’s her day.
Is it necessary to go to the ceremony?
A wedding is about two people joining for (hopefully!) life and that being witnessed by those they decide to share his moment with. Not free food, dance and whatever else may involve. So what is all the excitement about as you have made up your mind? Confirmation, consolation?
So, OP, you killed the friendship on a sanctimonious soapbox that you mistook for a hill to die on.
But hey, as long as you're good with it.
Didn't expect the hoi polloi to tell you that you were wrong, did you?
People like this don't have real friendships. it's only all about them.
They're also never wrong and incapable of saying their sorry.
The OP coming back and being so flippant about it just proves it. Someone who really had an issue would have just said no to the wedding and reception without going into detail like this and just sent a card and gift.
These people end up alone in the end and still don't get it.
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