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Yeah I'm feeling guilt and they make me feel sorry for them. If I didn't have the new job, along with not doing any filmmaking projects this summer, then I would be more up for it.
I don't think it's that simple. He started this thread presumably because he's feeling guilt for not wanting to go. It's really weighing on him. And that guilt isn't going away because some people on here helped him come up with some good excuses.
And your solution is to go, even though he doesn't want to. You are adding to the guilt trip he's already getting from his parents. It's not helpful.
Well I talked to them and they keep saying if I don't go then my brother is going to not want to come too, and he has his mental health problems going on. They keep saying we will work around my schedule and go when I can, so what's a good week to go, etc.
Yeah I'm feeling guilt and they make me feel sorry for them. If I didn't have the new job, along with not doing any filmmaking projects this summer, then I would be more up for it.
You are not your brothers keeper nor is he your responsibility. You should not feel guilty ,this is your parents issue ,let them deal with it. You don’t have to be combative or make excuses,just state you are not going and don’t discuss it further. They try to bring it up or guilt trip just change the subject or excuse yourself and leave the room.
Well I talked to them and they keep saying if I don't go then my brother is going to not want to come too, and he has his mental health problems going on. They keep saying we will work around my schedule and go when I can, so what's a good week to go, etc.
Wait...your parents are aware of you live & they are worried about vacation?
Well I talked to them and they keep saying if I don't go then my brother is going to not want to come too, and he has his mental health problems going on. They keep saying we will work around my schedule and go when I can, so what's a good week to go, etc.
Like I said , don’t discuss it further. You’ve made it clear you don’t wish to go and repeat that and then leave conversation.
So your parents need you to go to help with your brother? And if you don't go, no one can go?
Who is to say that the brother needs to go? If he is an adult and has mental health problems, this visit could be making it worse for him. It seems like the real problem is that these family members make the kids uncomfortable and the parents aren’t willing to accept it. If BOTH kids don’t want to go, I would say it is probably a problem with the relatives and not with the OP.
Who is to say that the brother needs to go? If he is an adult and has mental health problems, this visit could be making it worse for him.
If the brother can't take care of himself or can't be unsupervised for several days, that means the OP would have to take the time off of work to care for him while the parents are gone anyway.
I don't think it's that simple. He started this thread presumably because he's feeling guilt for not wanting to go. It's really weighing on him. And that guilt isn't going away because some people on here helped him come up with some good excuses.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
And your solution is to go, even though he doesn't want to. You are adding to the guilt trip he's already getting from his parents. It's not helpful.
Responsible considerate adults occasionally do things they don't want to do. Selfish people have difficulty understanding that.
The idea that the solution here is to help him find excuses is laughable.
Okay thanks. Well they said not only will the brother need taking care of, if I don't go, but also that they already booked the hotels and tickets to the places, and asked why didn't I bring this up before.
I told them that I did say so before, but apparently they did it take it seriously and it flew right over their head to which they just seemed surprised by.
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