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It was a stupid argument that you started. I'm quite sure you were aware you were pushing his buttons.
When he apologized for snapping at you, you should have apologized for being judgmental and instigating. And then the whole thing should have been forgotten about by both parties.
OP, you're not innocent here. You owe the guy an apology.
OP, I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say you owe him an apology, but you did overstep when you made a comment about his current relationship. I think both of you were partially in the wrong here. His half-apology sounds to me as though he was trying to mend fences with you, but may not be very good at it.
I'd let it go, and continue your friendship with him on the same basis it was before. Pretend this dust-up never happened.
It was a stupid argument that you started. I'm quite sure you were aware you were pushing his buttons.
When he apologized for snapping at you, you should have apologized for being judgmental and instigating. And then the whole thing should have been forgotten about by both parties.
OP, you're not innocent here. You owe the guy an apology.
I agree with this post. At this time, I think the OP should just call the guy up and be blunt, as in "Hey, I don't want to lose your friendship over this. I think I stuck my nose into something that was none of my business and made a that insulted you, and for that I am sorry."
The scenario is this, I'm a middle aged guy who had a good hiking partner (at least 10 years older). Really respected the guy and enjoyed hiking and camping. We had a long weekend recently where we planned on hiking. I came down to his place (he's an hour or so away) Saturday around 11. I suggested leaving later as I needed more time to rest Saturday morning, as I'm working two jobs. To my memory, he agreed without issue. Overdid hiking on Sunday, and mentioned I needed to rest on Monday as I was coming back from an injury and had been months since doing anything strenuous.
OK, so you arranged to go on a series of hikes with your friend and arrived late because you were tired. Then, after hiking on Sunday you weren't in shape to do any more hiking, so you bowed out on hiking Monday. He cleared a long weekend for you and got one hike out of it. Am I understanding it was a four hour drive to the campsite and four hours back? No wonder he was angry. Your inappropriate comment about his relationship didn't help any.
You seem either selfish or oblivious to how your decisions affect others. All it takes is 30 minutes in a gym 5 times a week to recover strength and stamina. But you show up deconditioned for a series of hikes.
IMO, I think you should give the guy another chance, especially if this situation was a "one off". If he's never behaved like this before...give him another chance.
You USUALLY like each other's company, and you have (up until now) a good friend who enjoys the same things you do.
If MY best friend did something similar, I would reach out and try to fix it. She's like my sister.
I'll give him credit for apologizing. Most people can't do that.
That's a key point here.
Your buddy was "bragging" to you that even being older, he was a literal Rooster keeping two Henhouses occupied, his expectation was for you to high-five him for his sexual prowess, and you obviously let him down, LOL.
I had a friend who was in the business of only dating married women. I called him out on it (I could understand a one-off, sometimes people connect and marriages end, but this guy would seek out married women to date). I'm a big believer in the "Do unto others" rule, this guy would be devastated if someone he was involved with long-term cheated on him, and that was the point I was making. We quit hanging out a year or so later, I did wonder if my calling him out was part of that. Whatev's, I still think that dudes who don't give a whit if they break up a marriage are a POS, and if a P.O'd husband blows their junk off over it, Karma.
He choose to share a detail that does raise an eyebrow. So when the door was open ..a fair inquiry was displayed. He misdirected the anger. That's on him.
No you weren't in the wrong. Nor is an apology in order.
Once this side of him was brought forth you saw that dark side. Takes much to be that vulnerable though. So I'd say...respect this less then pleasant side of him. Then ask that in the future some balance be restored . Each of you taking a breather before saying things that cant be undone.
Is whatever benefit you perceive from the relationship worth the kind of rudeness, even abuse, you know he is capable of delivering? Do you think you deserved the treatment you got from him? What kind of redeeming qualities does he bring to the friendship?
If you have to walk on eggshells around someone to avoid setting off their tendency to "rub people the wrong way," that sounds like a lot of work for what is not really a particularly close or even good relationship. He knows he "rubs people the wrong way" and apparently thinks that simply saying that is enough to make everything all right. He's the one who needs to be reviewing his behavior and considering opportunities to improve, not you.
It sounds like you just struck a nerve with him. Maybe there is more going on in that aspect of his life that he has been able or cared to share with you. Do not let a friendship go over something like that. Good friendships with the same interests like that are hard to come by. Give each of you time to heal and move forward who knows the next time you two take out on a venture, you might have a more connected discussion, he may be comfortable and confident enough to explain himself to you with a better apology or maybe you two will carry on with your time together as if this event never occurred.
Best of luck to you in all your future endeavours!
He's putting his frustrations out on you because you're the one there & he probably knows you're right when you talked of his relationships w/ these ladies.
This. Let things settle for a couple of weeks. Then decide if you want to resume friendship. If you reach out, and he is cool, then you have your answer.
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Yes, he is.
